When You Make Other Plans
by lorien829
Summary: Kathryn Janeway is stranded on a planet...but not with whom you'd expect. Chapter Ten Up! Epilogue up! Complete!
1. The Separation

**What Happens When You Make Other Plans**

**Disclaimer: Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.**

**AN: **This one is going to be a little different....please please please review! Also manythanks to monkee's superb "Gravity Well" and mochachill's outstanding "Shekan"...who at least helped inspire thegeneral theme of this story.

**Part One: The Separation**

Ensign Harry Kim strolled through the marketplace on the teeming technological center of Gentarra Prime. He had wandered from the high-traffic areas of the market, where they were selling things like transporter technology, holo-emitters, and dilithium matrices. Evidently, the Gentarrans had no qualms about selling technology, although it appeared that they had a kind of "members-only" policy, and did perform certain background checks. It had taken _Voyager_ 3 weeks to get clearance to visit the planet's surface.

When they had, the crew had immediately seen that it was worth the wait. Gentarra Prime was a veritable smorgasboard of technological wonders. Species from all over the sector came to buy, sell, and trade. Frequently, gasps and murmurs of admiration were heard, as traders demonstrated their wares. Gentarra Prime had an open air market as well, not as highly sought after, but just as large and varied.

So Ensign Kim found himself among the more traditional market fare, fresh fruit and flowers, and was enjoying the outing immensely, taking in the cultural atmosphere and the bustle of the trade stalls.

He paused to look at a trade stall with beautiful sculpted and polished stones on display. There were even tiny tools and lengths of metal wire, with which you could set the stones into jewelry you created yourself. The salesman smiled at him toothily, as he noted the offworlder's interest.

"Here are some of my designs," the salesman gestured at a layout of empty ring and brooch settings. "Or you are welcome to set the stones yourself, if you'd like. A truly unique gift, anywhere in the galaxy."

"Are the stones found he-" Harry's question was cut short by screams, and the crescendos of a struggle. He dropped the pliers he'd been holding, and bolted in that direction, when he heard a cry in English… and recognized the voice.

* * *

He had seen her pass by, as she left the indoor arena housing the more expensive and advanced items available for sale. She had turned toward the left, and was not walking quickly or with destination in mind. She had entered the long rows of flower and jewelry stalls. They were always crowded… he smiled, and that badge she was wearing looked like it might fetch a pretty price.

He slipped from his stance, leaned against an alley wall, and began to walk casually down the lane, careful to keep her in sight.

"Do this correctly, Jorann, and you could be eating well for a month," he muttered to himself.

He caught up to her when she paused at a fruit and vegetable stand, and picked up a round, red _corshna_. She looked at it for a moment, and smiled, appearing to be far away. Jorann narrowed his eyes, wondering whether or not she was crazy, and if it was safe to try and relieve her of her valuables. She replaced the _corshna_, and continued walking. She was approaching a particularly crowded section of the market, and when she began to thread her way through the tightly compacted mass of people, he decided to make his move.

Jorann had not anticipated the violence of her reaction, when he reached his large hand around to her front, grasping for the jewelry she wore there. As the badge tore away from her clothing, she pulled away, and fell, fear in her eyes. He bent over her, intent on exploring her person for anything else that he could sell.

She kicked him in the face.

As the heel of her boot caused a crunching of Gentarran cartilage and a spurting of Gentarran blood, there were some snickers and cheers from the crowd, where people were watching warily. There were some catcalls too, and rage began to fill Jorann's thoughts, rage and wounded pride, at being bested by a woman.

She leapt to her feet as lightly as a cat, and instinctively reached up to activate her communicator, which unfortunately rested in the palm of her attacker's hand. She saw the rage make his eyes feral, and saw a glint of blade as he unsheathed a long crooked knife.

That's when she decided to scream. And run.

The other Gentarrans neither aided nor hindered her, seeming to think it all in good fun, like some sort of sporting event or floor show.

Her attacker was huge, and was taking one stride to every four of hers. And he had a knife. She opened her mouth to call for help again, as she careened around a corner, right into to the yellow material of Harry Kim's chest.

"Ha—Harry," she panted. He helped her up, and managed,

"Captain?" before she suggested, without so many words, that they run like hell. Jorann rounded the corner like a wounded bull.

Harry was running, holding on to the Captain's upper arm, as she struggled to keep up. Her lungs were burning from her panic and her flight, but she still managed to catch sight of a door with a passcode keypad next to it…and it was slightly ajar.

"Harry…there," she managed. He yanked the door open, and pulled her in, shutting it securely behind them.

The keypad glowed with a whirling light, as a Gentarran in a labcoat came up to it, and punched in a long code. There was a beep, and the door disappeared, leaving only a featureless wall. He did not notice the large Gentarran looking frantically around as if he had misplaced something.

"Klental, it is done," the second Gentarran called. "Deactivation sequence has been implemented. Countdown to recalibration has been initiated." Klental's reply was unintelligible and ignored, as Jorann was noticed.

"Sir, can I help you?" The scientist, whose name was Lurtak, asked politely. "Have you lost something?"

"Yes, a piece.. a piece of jewelry. Perhaps I dropped it in the marketplace." Jorann's palm was empty, and he was thoroughly disgusted with himself.

"Perhaps so. I hope you are able to locate it, but this is a restricted area." Lurtak replied, by way of dismissal.

"Did you see anyone come this way?"

"I assure you, that's quite impossible." Lurtak said firmly. "Good day, sir."

* * *

Harry blinked his eyes, and then shook his head, as if he did not believe what he was seeing. He turned around, and where the door they just entered should have been…. 

..there was only a beautiful green field. They were outdoors, in a gorgeous, serene pastoral setting. There was no city, no marketplace, nothing for at least a kilometer. He squinted, thinking he could make out the outlines of some small buildings in the distance. He turned again, but the view had not changed.

"What the hell?" he said. He turned, and helped Captain Janeway to her feet.

"Thank you, Ensign," she said, and began brushing off her uniform, before looking around.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"I _thought_ we were inside a building in the capital city of Gentarra Prime." Harry shrugged, as if to say _what do I know?_

"Our scans showed no rural areas remaining on Gentarra Prime." She murmured, half to herself. "It's almost completely metropolitan." She mechanically reached for her commbadge, but stopped when her hand touched bare skin. Her uniform had a small tear, where her communicator had been ripped away.

"Try yours, Ensign," she ordered. Harry hit his commbadge, but was rewarded only with a click and the silence of dead air. They looked askance at each other for a moment, unsure of exactly what course of action to take.

"What is this?" Janeway asked, noticing that the field was not as empty as they had previously thought. A small signpost stood to their left, with a light atop it that was flashing. There was a small keypad on the post, and it looked familiar. "Is that the same one as on the door?"

"It looks like it." Harry reached out his hand, but before he could even touch any of the keys, an alarm sounded. He jerked back as if he'd been shocked.

"They've begun the deactivation sequence," came a voice just out of sight over a small rise. "I'm going to retract the beacon."

A humanoid looking vaguely Gentarran topped the rise, and hesitated when he saw them standing by the "beacon". He gestured over his shoulder at someone unseen, and approached them.

"How did you come to be here?" he asked, abruptly, but not quite rudely.

"We were being chased by someone with a knife, and came through a door. Can you tell us what is going on?" Janeway spoke in a fairly subdued manner, for her, Harry thought.

"A silver door, with a coded lock?" The man asked, getting visibly agitated.

"Yes, but wh-" He cut off the captain's next question, pacing and muttering to himself.

"And they're off-worlders too. How could they have left it open? Deactivation sequence has already begun. I suppose you have a ship?" The muttering stopped, and the last question was directed at them.

"Yes, we come from the Federation starship _Voyager_. This is Ensign Kim, and I'm Captain Janeway."

At the mention of her title, woe filled the man's face afresh, and he looked almost afraid. He shook his head.

"You cannot go back," he said simply. Harry glanced back and forth from the alien to the captain, and opened his mouth to protest. The captain held up her hand for silence.

"Why don't you tell us who you are, and where we are, for starters?"

"Certainly, Captain. I am Prastin, and I am the keeper of the Beacon. This is my wife, Kariva." He motioned for a slight woman, with long black hair, who had been standing unnoticed several meters away. She walked up to join them, and gave her husband a significant look.

"What has happened?" she asked. Kathryn recognized the urgency in her tone, although she tried to say it casually.

Prastin pushed a series of symbols on the keypad, which glowed, let out an obliging chirp, and then went dead. The beacon began to lower itself into the ground, until all sign of it was gone. The four of them stood in an empty meadow.

"What – why – that's our way back!!" Ensign Kim sputtered in barely intelligible outrage.

"That's enough, Mr. Kim," Janeway said. "We are understandably confused, and we need to get back to our ship. Can you please tell us what is going on?"

"Perhaps you would accompany us back to our home?" Kariva said pleasantly. "We can sit, have something to drink, and discuss what has happened." She murmured quietly to her husband, "The council is _not_ going to like this."

* * *

"What do you mean they're gone?" Chakotay's face and tone were thunderous. 

"Ensign Kim's commbadge signal has simply vanished. As far our scanners can tell, he is no longer on the planet." Tuvok spoke calmly, his superior's outburst notwithstanding.

"And Kathryn's?" Chakotay didn't even notice that her given name had slipped from his lips.

"Her signal disappeared less than half a kilometer away from Mr. Kim's. However, upon further investigation, the security team found this in an alleyway in the marketplace." Tuvok held up a container of crushed metal, some pebble-sized pieces, some powdered.

"Is that the Captain's?" Chakotay asked dully, already knowing the answer.

"It is, sir. We lost Captain Janeway's signal when her communicator was destroyed. However, Ensign Kim's signal merely disappeared. No trace of it has been found."

"Have you checked where it went off the grid?"

"It is a restricted area. We were denied access." Chakotay rubbed both of his hands over his face in fatigue. He could not allow himself to succumb to panic.

"All right. Get me the Chancellor of Gentarra Prime, and patch it through to the ready room."

"Aye, sir," Tuvok responded, and exited the ready room. A few moments later, the viewscreen on the desk chirped and lit up. A tall, austere Gentarran appeared there.

"I am Chancellor Yegran. What can I do for you, Commander?" He asked, without quite sneering. Chakotay instantly disliked him; the Chancellor had an oily, superior air that could be concealing almost anything.

"Two of my people are missing, Chancellor."

"Gentarra Prime offers many opportunities for people who wish to disappear. If they are of age, it is their choice to do so."

"And what if it was not of their choice?"

"Sadly, there is a criminal element on Gentarra Prime. With trade and prosperity inevitably come those of a more… unsavory character. I am sure it is the same on your world as well. Your people should have been more careful." Chakotay stared at him for a moment, barely concealing his rage.

"They lost communications with the ship in this area." He hit a keypad and sent the coordinates. "We'd like your permission to search in this area."

Chancellor Yegran studied the numbers for a moment. "I am sorry. That is a classified research area. Access is highly restricted. It is highly unlikely that your people were even in that area at all. It would not have been permitted."

"Our sensors indicated that – "

"Your sensors are obviously in error." The Chancellor's manner had been cold before, but was now positively icy. "Good day, Commander."

The viewscreen went dead.

Chakotay swore, and hit the desk with his fist. He sat motionless for a moment, his mind racing, and then opened a commlink to the bridge.

"Chakotay to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"Call a meeting of the senior staff in the conference room immediately. Also, recall any remaining members of the crew from the surface. Make sure everyone is accounted for."

"Understood. Tuvok out."

* * *

Kariva placed four mugs of a steaming, spicy liquid on the roughhewn table, and sat next to her husband. Their home was more like a cabin, with a spartan quality and primitive furnishings. However, there were flashes of technology that Kathryn had seen: a computer terminal was over in the corner and appeared to be operational. 

Kathryn took a sip of her drink, and found it to taste somewhat like spiced cider.

"Now, can you please explain where we are and how we got here?" she asked. Kariva and Prastin exchanged glances, and Prastin took a deep breath.

"Captain, you and your ensign are on Gentarra Prime." His statement seemed somewhat anticlimactic, considering how reluctant he'd been to say it.

"That's what we thought."

"In an alternate timeline." Harry looked like he might be sick. "I'm afraid it was a one way trip." Prastin finished.

"Explain," Captain Janeway said tersely. Prastin looked at a loss.

"Begin at the beginning, husband," Kariva suggested gently.

"Many years ago, there was great concern on Gentarra Prime – in your universe – because the entire planet was nearly covered in one large city. Everything was mechanized and covered in metal or synthetic materials… there were few farms and parks and natural places left. Some of the scientists became concerned, when the raw materials on the planet began to become scarce. They started doing research into alternate realities.

"People thought they were crazy, but they were finally able to create a link with an alternate reality where Gentarra Prime had remained agrarian. This is where you are.

"It was a huge technological undertaking for them, and it still is a very complicated process to undergo. But they managed to keep the link stable in both location and in time. Now, we send them foodstuffs and ores, and they send us what little technology we require. You can see," he gestured at his home with one hand, "we prefer a simpler life."

"Then, you can send us back." Harry said. "If the connection works two ways, then you can send us back."

"I told you the process was very complex. It is highly detailed and must be followed exactly. The time you entered the portal was the end of a cycle. They had just finished sending several thousand _ropha_ of supplies. Now the machine has been deactivated."

"How long until a new cycle begins?" Captain Janeway asked, beginning to see how this was going, and not liking it.

"Deactivation takes 4 _huri_. Then recalibration takes 6 ½ _huri_. Then the machine must be recharged, and the settings reset and tested; that takes 9 _huri_. It will be nearly 20 _huri_ before the portal will open again, and – "

"What is a _huri_?" Captain Janeway interrupted.

"It consists of 45 rotations of our planet on its axis. There are 5 _huri_ in one starcycle."

"There are 18 hours in a Gentarran day," Captain Janeway told Harry. "Can you compute how much time that is for us?"

Without any tricorder, Ensign Kim was reduced to scribbling on a piece of paper, but he had come up with the answer in a relatively short amount of time. His eyes slid shut in denial as he looked at the answer.

"Ensign?" Janeway prodded.

"Nearly two years."

"That's not possible. There has got to be some way that we can begin the sequence early."

"I'm afraid not, Captain," Prastin shook his head, but there was sympathy in his eyes. "If we ended any part of the sequence prematurely, the machine would not have enough power to get you into the right place and time… you could end up anywhere. The settings have to be absolutely precise."

The two officers from _Voyager_ slumped in their seats, looking utterly dejected.

"I haven't told you the worst part yet," Prastin offered, his brow creasing in concern.

"It gets worse?" Harry said dubiously.

"The portal only works one way. They just sent us supplies, and will send us supplies again at the end of the next cycle. The resetting procedure is slightly shorter that way. After they send us supplies again, it will take longer to recalibrate and reverse the portal, then it will be their turn to receive supplies for two cycles. It is a more efficient manner of doing it."

"So more than double our estimate, then?" Captain Janeway said, with a mirthless smile.

"Five…years?" was all Harry could utter. Captain Janeway pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers, and looked tired.

"I hate to think of Commander Chakotay and _Voyager_ waiting around for 4 years," she said wearily.

"They won't know you're here," Prastin said. "It's highly classified. Even if Gentarra Prime figures out you came here, they won't tell your Commander that."

Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim exchanged a long glance.

"So, they're going to leave without us?" Harry said; it wasn't really a question. He pushed his chair back, and it fell over. He didn't appear to notice. "I've got to… think. Excuse me, Captain." He exited the cabin without another word.

Prastin and Kariva looked away, uncomfortable with their obvious distress.

"I'm sorry, Prastin. This is going to take some getting used to." Kathryn's mind was whirling, belying her calm outward demeanor. They had nothing of _Voyager_ with them, aside from Harry's communicator… no phasers or tricorders. They were at the mercy of alien technology that they had no knowledge of. _Voyager _had no idea where they were, and were unlikely to find out from Gentarran government… and even if they did, Kathryn would rather them continue home than wait 4 years for them.

A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Prastin, can we scan for _Voyager_? If this is just an alternate timeline, perhaps _Voyager _is nearby."

"There are infinite possibilities, Captain Janeway," Prastin said. "But even if your _Voyager_ is close, she will-"

"Already have a Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim aboard," Kathryn finished for him glumly.

"We have an automated security system for safety reasons, but our sensors and communications are very limited. We are not interested in outsiders. It is possible we would not even be able to detect your ship."

"Kariva, you said something about a council. And you just mentioned your lack of interest in outsiders. Will we be welcomed here?" Kariva smiled.

"I was referring to the obvious lapses in security and mishandling of the machine at the other end of the portal. You should have never been allowed to get that close to the doorway. People are rarely sent through."

"But they have been sent through?" Kathryn asked.

"Only after extensive research," Prastin said. "You see, with you, it is not a problem, as your alternative selves are nowhere on Gentarra. With us, we have to check, as running into your wife with someone else, or seeing children that have never been born in your timeline, tends to be somewhat … awkward."

"Yes, I can see how it would be," Kathryn chuckled, but quickly grew serious again. "Will there be somewhere for us to stay?"

"There is a vacant house on the outskirts of the village… the closest one to our house. We live a little further away than most, to be closer to the beacon. Harana just moved out to get married; her parents died last year. With her permission, you could live there," Prastin offered. "I will call a council meeting. We will make some decisions." He stood to his feet. Kathryn did as well.

"We'd appreciate any help you can give us. I'm going to find Harry. Will we need to be present at the council meeting?"

"It might be wise," Prastin said, after considering her question for a moment. "I will come get you."

* * *

The atmosphere in the briefing room was tense and edgy. Chakotay's countenance was so dark that none of the senior staff wanted to meet his eyes. He didn't speak immediately, and the silence grew so strained that Tom was on the point of jumping up and making a wisecrack, even if the first officer killed him. 

"Options, people." Chakotay finally said tersely. "I need options. We need to locate Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim, and retrieve them, or we need to be able to verify…their- the worst. How can we accomplish that?"

"Have we reconstructed their activities? There were thousands of people in that market. Someone had to have seen them." B'Elanna put in.

"I have a security detail on the surface asking questions," Tuvok replied. "However, the Gentarrans have so far been…less than forthcoming."

"If they're holding Harry and the captain somewhere, can't we just threaten them? Isn't this an act of war?" Tom asked, understandably upset.

"One Federation ship far away from home isn't exactly in the position to make a lot of threats," Chakotay countered. "We don't know that the Gentarrans have them. We don't know – we don't know damn near anything."

"It would seem that the course of action we are currently undertaking is the correct one," Seven stated. "Someone does know what happened, or some of what happened. Interrogation is the only way to figure out who has information and who is willing to share it."

"I agree. It doesn't seem like much, but it's all we've got." Chakotay said. "B'Elanna, I want you and Seven to work on the scanners and the sensor logs. Run any kind of test you can think of that might turn up some kind of information. Tuvok, we're going back down there with your team, to see if we can turn up anything. Paris, you have the conn." B'Elanna looked less than happy about being assigned to work with Seven, but Chakotay saw nothing less than the determination he was used to from the senior crewmembers.

"Dismissed."

* * *

Kathryn stood in Prastin's doorway, scanning the pastoral panorama in front of her for any sign of where Harry might have gone. A footpath to the west led to a wooden bridge over a creek, and presumably, to the village. Back to the south was the field where they were found. Then she saw him, sitting on the ground near the base of a large tree, not 100 meters away. 

She sat down next to him. "It's beautiful here," she began neutrally.

"It's not home."

"Neither was _Voyager_."

"With all due respect, Captain, that's bullshit and you know it."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." She smiled at him then. "_Voyager_ wasn't exactly home. But it was family and it was the promise of home, wasn't it?"

"You always made me hope, Captain… you were so positive that _Voyager_ would make it back to Earth. I actually believed it. And now, stuck here on this planet… for years. We'll never catch back up to _Voyager_. It's like finding myself stranded in the Delta quadrant all over again." Harry's tone was bitter.

"Chakotay will exhaust every possible option, and some impossible ones, if I know him, before he gives up. This could be over tomorrow," Kathryn said, with more cheer than she actually felt.

Harry looked at her for the first time since she'd sat down next to him.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Are you going to make calling me on my shit a practice, Ensign?" Harry laughed then, a feeble one that ended in a kind of sigh.

"There are always possibilities. But I admit, I can't see any way out. If we had been stranded on the technological end of Gentarra Prime, maybe… but here? Highly unlikely."

"So what are we going to do, Captain?"

"The only thing we can do, Harry. We've got to live. We might as well make the most of it, for as long as we're here. At the least, in 5 years, we go back through the portal, get a ship, and try to find _Voyager_ somehow."

"With a five year head-start?"

"I don't know. Perhaps there's a way communications can run two ways during a cycle. We might not be able to go through ourselves, but we can send word through. Who knows?

"Prastin's calling a council meeting. He thinks there will be an empty house available for us near the village."

"To live in together?" Harry blushed and looked uncomfortable.

"He only mentioned one house. I'm sorry, Harry. You probably wish that you'd been stranded with anyone but me." Kathryn looked stricken. "Am I that scary? Would you rather live separately?"

"Well, no, b-but you- you're the Captain…" Harry stammered.

"Not here. Just Kathryn." She interjected.

"And you're – you're…" he couldn't finish his thought… _a woman_. "What about you?" he said abruptly, changing the subject. "Isn't there someone else you'd rather be stranded with?"

Kathryn was silent for so long, Harry began to wonder if he'd overstepped his bounds.

"Yeah, maybe," she finally ventured. She draped an arm across his back, and patted him on the shoulder. "You're not such a bad alternate though. Beats the hell out of being alone."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her, but smiled. "So I'm better than nothing, is that it?" Kathryn gave him a look of surprise and amusement.

"Are you _teasing_ me, Ensign Kim?"

Harry made a conciliatory gesture, and looked as if he would apologize, but she stopped him.

"It's all right, Harry." Her tone was wry. "You have my permission to continue." Her head turned suddenly, and her demeanor changed. "Here comes Prastin. It must be time for the council." She stood to her feet, and offered Harry a hand up. "Let's go."

* * *

**  
**

"Commander, we are receiving a transmission from the surface," Ensign McKay, from her position at Harry's station, announced.

Hope leapt in Chakotay's eyes. They had spent a long fruitless afternoon in the marketplace on Gentarra Prime, among faces that either were blankly ignorant or shuttered once the Starfleet crew had disclosed what they were looking for. There were people down there that _knew_ something, of that he had no doubt. But perhaps…perhaps this transmission was from Kathryn or Harry, and this whole crisis could be put behind them.

Elizabeth McKay saw his look, and said with a disappointed tone, "It's Chancellor Yegran."

Chakotay's shoulders slumped slightly, but he set his jaw.

"Onscreen." Chancellor Yegran appeared in front of him, his mouth turned up in some approximation of a smile, but no humor in his features.

"Commander Chakotay, it has come to my attention that you have been conducting an…investigation without authorization from the Gentarran government."

_You mean, without authorization from you_, Chakotay thought sourly.

"We are extremely concerned with the recovery of our missing people," Chakotay replied, as politely as he could.

"I certainly understand, Commander. However, it does not excuse conducting an unauthorized investigation on a sovereign world."

"It was not our intent to offend, Chancellor. Our thoughts are only on recovering our crewmen," Chakotay gritted his teeth. Kathryn was so much better at the diplomatic game than he was.

"Because I understand your concern, and to show the generous spirit of Gentarra Prime to all off-worlders, I will disclose to you that an arrest has been made with regard to the disappearance of your crew."

Chakotay felt his insides tie into knots.

"With what is he charged?" he ground out. The tension on the bridge was palpable. Tom Paris sat at the helm, his spine completely rigid. Nobody moved.

"He has been charged with two counts of homicide." Yegran gestured, and a very large Gentarran was brought forward in shackles. Chakotay was gripping the armrest so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"What..evidence do you have?" he managed.

"The criminal has confessed," Yegran said. "He faces death, but I regret to inform you that he has said there is nothing left of the bodies."

There was a strangled gasp from somewhere behind Chakotay, probably Ensign McKay. Something of Chakotay's agony must have showed on his face, because the shackled Gentarran spoke, his words tumbling over each other.

"I'm sorry, sir. I just wanted her pretty badge. I thought I could sell it. I didn't mean to hurt the other one, but when she screamed, he came to help her…"

"Silence!" The Chancellor snarled, and the accused was taken away. Chakotay had turned his head to one side, as if unwilling to physically face what was being said to him.

"We are sorry for your loss, Commander. In recompense, we will not ask payment for any supplies you have acquired during your visit to Gentarra Prime. We must ask that you break orbit by morning, however. We have done all we can do for you."

Chakotay's features were shuttered and grief-stricken.

"Thank you for your assistance, Chancellor," he said calmly. Ensign McKay closed the channel, trying not to openly cry.

"Make preparations to get underway, Tuvok. We'll leave orbit at 0800 tomorrow."

"Aye, sir."

Chakotay stood then, and walked wordlessly to the ready room, with a posture of defeat. The doors slid shut behind him.

**TBC**

**Next Chapter: Adjusting**


	2. The Adjustment

**Disclaimer:** Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground. 

**AN: Please review. My fragile ego needs it. Thanks so much to all who did. (Belladevon:Loved your story…what a sweet moment between the two of them!! Thanks for letting me know about it!)**

**The Adjustment**

Tom Paris sat in the mess hall, his hands folded under his chin, supporting his weight on his elbows, staring unseeingly at the stationary stars outside the viewport.

"Want some company?" came the voice of his wife. He looked up at her, as she slid into the booth next to him, and smiled a wobbly smile.

"Hey, 'Lanna," he managed, brushing a kiss on her cheek. She looked at him discerningly. His eyes looked red.

"You okay?" He turned back to the viewport.

"Yeah… I – I don't – I," he took a deep breath. "I can't believe they're gone. Captain Janeway. H – Harry." He swallowed. B'Elanna put a hand on his arm, and rested her head against his shoulder. "I keep thinking of little stupid things… like Harry's clarinet, and Captain Proton… and –" His voice trailed off.

"I keep thinking about Chakotay," B'Elanna said, in a voice much softer than her usual strident tone. "He was half in love with her, you know."

Tom laughed a little mirthless laugh. "More than half, if you ask me."

"You think he's okay?"

"Like I am?" Tom snorted. "What is that saying… 'still waters run deep'? He's upset. But I bet he takes that mantle she left him, and follows her example." He began to drift again. "She was like that… everyone wanted to follow her example."

B'Elanna's eyes misted for a moment, and then her Klingon heritage took over. "Damn _p'takh_ son of a bitch mugger!" She snarled, hitting the tabletop with her fist, swearing inelegantly.

"Can you believe it?" Tom said, like he was having trouble digesting the information. "All we've been through… all she's brought us through… and she's killed by a street thug?"

B'Elanna couldn't restrain a smile then. "But what a way for Harry to go. Saving the captain!" Tom grinned at her, savoring the irreverence of the moment.

"He was probably angling for that promotion!"

A laugh burbled involuntarily from B'Elanna, and she covered her mouth. It ended in a kind of sob.

"Oh, Kahless, Tom," she said.

"I know, 'Lanna. I'm gonna miss them so much."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You fool!" Yegran spat. "I told you to keep your mouth shut. You were to merely stand there… and look guilty." The last phrase was spoken with the utmost derision.

"My apologies, Chancellor," Jorann said, anxiously. "I only thought to make it look convincing." He paused a moment, then added, "When do I get my money?"

"You'll have your payment when we know your story worked."

"And when will that be?" Jorann said, with an edge of anger to his tone. Yegran gave him a warning look, ominous in its blandness. Jorann gulped, and modified his expression.

"You will have your payment _in full_ once _Voyager_ has broken orbit, and not an instant before. Remember you did assault and rob the Captain of that vessel… you are certainly getting more than you deserve."

"Chancellor," Jorann's voice was full of righteous dismay, "the service I rendered in deceiving the Starfleet ship was only to aid the best interests of Gentarra."

The Chancellor's sideways look effectively voiced his doubt of the truthfulness of Jorann's declaration.

"I only wished to preserve the secrecy and sanctity of the portal, that the –" He stumbled to a halt, as Yegran's face grew menacing.

"Your tongue has run away without the benefit of your sense," he sneered. "Now, get out! Before we change our minds about throwing you in prison. And giving you your reward."

Jorann turned on his heels, and all but fled from the ruling chamber.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The council meeting seemed quite forbidding to Harry Kim… but it probably wasn't any worse than any other less-than-optimal situations they had been in. True, the décor left much to be desired, with a long, heavy-beamed, low-ceiling hallway lit only by flickering, low-wattage lights (solar-powered cells, Prastin explained).

Perhaps it was the row of somber-looking Gentarrans lined up at a long handcrafted table, staring at the newcomers that made Harry feel ill at ease. There was a long period of silence, spent trying not to meet the inscrutable gazes of the Gentarrans, where even Prastin was shifting his weight from foot to foot, uncomfortably.

"How do off-worlders come to be on Gentarra?" A man whose dark hair had begun to turn iron-grey spoke from the center seat on the table. Kathryn noticed that his chair was higher than everyone else's, or was on a dais.

Prastin stepped forward, his arms draped behind his back, in a stance of nonchalance that belied his actual emotions.

"They came through the portal from Gentarra Prime… inadvertently, Councilor Manlak." There were a few hushed whispers from the men at the end of the council table. Manlak's frown deepened.

"That is a serious breach of security. Were you attempting to steal the portal's technology?" He directed the question at Harry, who glanced questioningly at the Captain. She exchanged a look with Prastin, who nodded, and signaled Harry to answer the question.

"We were fleeing a criminal who had attacked Ca – Kathryn," he indicated her with one hand, "with a knife, in an attempted robbery. I came to assist her, and we saw an open door. We entered, with only the idea to escape the attacker. We had no idea where it led."

"The door was left open… and unattended?" Manlak's voice was incredulous. "That is highly irregular."

"And it is very convenient, Councilor," a young, very beautiful woman, with haughty eyes spoke, casting looks of disdain on the two humans. "They must know that we have no way of contacting Gentarra Prime in between cycles. They could tell us _anything_, and we would have no way to verify it."

"They come with nothing," Prastin interjected. "They have no devices of any kind, save a communicator which is inoperable. I saw them after they arrived…they were confused and distressed. I do not believe it was an act, Councilor Rianah."

"What could off-worlders have to gain by coming here?" A third councilor said from the opposite end. "All the controls for the portal are on Gentarra Prime. The beacon is useless unless a cycle is in progress. We have little technology, no spaceworthy vessels… they are, in fact, trapped here."

"Perhaps they're criminals," Rianah said archly. "They came through the portal as an escape from justice."

"Councilor, these people have done us no harm, and shown no intentions to do so. Must we immediately brand them criminals because they are different?" The third councilor argued back.

"It is in our best interests to err on the side of caution, rather than put our society at risk," Rianah retorted.

"Very well, Rianah, let us lay this matter to rest." He looked at Harry and Kathryn. "I am Councilor Prascor. Are you two criminals?"

"No, Councilor. We are not," Kathryn answered evenly, looking Prascor straight in the eyes. Prascor's eyes twinkled, and he nearly smiled.

"There, you see, Rianah. They aren't criminals." A few council-members chuckled, and Rianah seethed, but said nothing. From what Kathryn could tell, the enmity between Rianah and Prascor was long-standing and deep.

Manlak had remained silent during the exchange, but finally spoke again.

"Where do you come from?"

"We come from Earth, one of a federation of planets across the galaxy. Our ship, _Voyager_, was thrown here by accident, and we have been working our way home for six years. We stopped on Gentarra Prime for supplies. The rest happened as Ensign Kim has said," Kathryn replied.

"You are the leader of your ship, then?"

"I am _Voyager_'s captain, yes, Councilor. Captain Kathryn Janeway. Harry Kim is one of my trusted officers."

"He must be, if he tried to save your life." Kathryn looked at Harry, and the corners of her eyes crinkled in a smile.

"Any of my crew would have done the same. And I for any of my crew." Manlak assessed her for a long moment. Rianah appeared to be attempting to glare holes in her skull.

"Are you aware that you will have to remain here until after the next cycle, when the portal is reversed for shipments to Gentarra Prime?" Harry's shoulder's seemed to slump, almost imperceptibly.

"Yes, Prastin has informed us of this." Kathryn's eyes saddened, but her features were composed. Manlak arched a brow at Prastin.

"You take liberties, Prastin."

"They were upset. I merely tried to explain the situation to them, as best I could. I saw no signs of espionage."

"What do you intend to do, Captain?"

"Whatever we can do to work and live in this society, Councilor. We do want to return when it is time, and try to find our people."

"The portal is highly classified. It is unlikely that your ship will be made aware of what has happened to you."

"We are aware of that. I wouldn't want _Voyager_ to wait that long. It is time best spent continuing the journey home. We were hoping to continue our journey home as well… when the cycle reverses."

"You will understand our initial caution. I personally do not see any malicious intent, but Prastin will escort you until our perceptions are confirmed. Is that agreeable, Captain?" Manlak asked.

"Of course, Councilor. Thank you for your hospitality," Kathryn said graciously.

"Councilor," Prastin spoke up. "Might they stay in Harana's home, and make it their own?"

"Hyral?" Manlak asked down the table.

"Harana's husband," Prastin whispered in an aside to Harry and Kathryn.

"I see no reason why they could not stay there," Hyral said, causing Rianah's glare to increase. "There is no one in immediate need of the house."

"So let it be done then," Manlak said with an air of finality.

"Welcome to Gentarra!" shouted the irrepressible Prascor.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chakotay and Tuvok were conferring in the ready room before they made the final decision to leave Gentarra Prime. Chakotay sat on the small sofa, unable and unwilling to take Kathryn's chair.

"Do you think Yegran was telling the truth?"

"I see no reason why he would lie. He did appear to have an arrogant and suspicious nature, but he did make an investigation and an arrest."

"Hmmm…yes, and a little too easily for my taste," Chakotay mused.

"The prisoner would have little to gain by deceiving us. He has already been apprehended. Commander, you must also take into account the fact that Captain Janeway's and Ensign Kim's biosigns appear nowhere on the planet's surface."

"Couldn't they be jamming our scanners?"

"Sensors have read some curious power fluctuations on the planet, but nothing that would constitute interference. We have a clear read on the planet."

Chakotay let out a gusty sigh, and leaned his head on the back of the sofa, gazing at the ceiling. He was silent for a long moment. Tuvok waited.

"Tuvok, do you think they're gone?" Tuvok blinked, but said, as stoically as always,

"I do, Commander." Chakotay blinked as though Tuvok had hit him, and sat silently for a long moment. Tuvok watched with interest, as the emotional walls almost visibly shuttered into place over his face….absolving him from the need to think about the two lost officers…about _her_.

"Then give the order, Mr. Tuvok."

"Aye..Captain."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_6 Months Later…_

Kathryn Janeway wiped her face with the back of one dirty hand, not quite succeeding in her attempt to keep her face clean. She leaned closer to inspect her _corshnai_, which were the biggest and reddest in the village, and a little thread of sadness wound its way into her mind. There had been another time, another place where she grew tomatoes… She sighed.

It had been 6 months since they came through the portal and ended up in this timeline…4 months since they had given up hope completely. She spent her time keeping the garden, learning Gentarran, and helping Prastin out with the occasional computer glitch. Hers was a calm existence, where the work was labor-intensive but simple.

The villagers had accepted them into their group with relative ease, except for Rianah, who harbored some kind of unreasoning hatred that Kathryn could not fathom. Even now, there was still a handful of oldtimers who eyed Kathryn and Harry with suspicion…especially her.

The Gentarrans looked very human, except for their tiny rounded ears, and their high rounded foreheads. Their eyes were huge and dark, and their hair was dark and worn long, even by the men. The women's hair was usually plaited down their backs, and the men's pulled back and tied with a piece of leather. Needless to say, Kathryn stood out in every way. Harry actually managed to blend in, especially once he began letting his hair grow.

Harry… Kathryn let her thoughts drift to him a moment, as she aerated the soil around the base of the _corshnai_ plants. He had proven to be a rock for her, and she for him, as they acclimated to their new life. He had a dry sense of humor, where she occasionally had to look at him closely before she figured out he was joking, and a streak of optimism a mile wide.

He had picked up the Gentarran language quickly, more so than she, and had offered his services working in the forge. He also had let slip his knowledge of operations and communications systems, and often worked odd hours repairing what little technology was present.

He had been shy and uncertain around her at first, still seeing her as the Captain. Even now, he still had moments of awkwardness. But everyday he seemed to see a little more Kathryn, and a little less Captain Janeway.

_I wonder if she is gone forever_, Kathryn mused. _I wonder where _Voyager_ is. I wonder if **he** ever thinks about me, if he misses me at all. I wonder if he can feel how much I miss him. I wish I had told him what he meant to me…_

"_Tharaku sonalo_,_"_ came a voice with laughter in it. She looked up to see her former Ops officer leaning on the gate, smiling.

"My _sona _aren't worth half a _thara_," she said with chagrin, in an atrocious mix of English and Gentarran.

"You aren't ever going to learn it if you keep mixing them up like that. I said "I'll give a penny for your thoughts." And you say…" he gestured his hand at her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"_Frenakalai." _Harry's eyes widened.

"I see you picked up swearing without a problem." She grinned impishly, but then said seriously,

"I don't know how anybody learns to speak this damn language, unless they're taught it from birth. There are so many damn endings and they change with the least little thing. Can't you just be my translator?"

He looked at her condescendingly, which caused her to mutter another Gentarran swear word under her breath.

"So what were you thinking about, really?" He asked, by way of changing the subject.

"_Voyager_." Harry's eyes grew somber and reflective then.

"Yeah…" was all he said in a kind of half-sigh. He appeared to be somewhere light-years away. _I wonder what Tom and B'Elanna are doing, _he mused. _They were trying to have a baby…I bet nobody else knew that. They were going to make me the godfather. Mom, Dad, Libby… there was always hope before. _His thoughts thrashed through a familiar path, worn with use.

She looked up at him through her eyelashes from her position on the ground. His hair was long, but still too short to pull back. It had become an almost involuntary movement for him to sweep his hair back from his forehead with an open hand. Of course, it almost immediately fell back to frame his face. His upper body had become much more muscled from his work in the forge, and his tan had deepened from his time outdoors. _He is beautiful_, drifted across her mind…

She jerked her head down in disgust, and became intensely absorbed in her plants again…ashamed of herself. _He is a child…he is fifteen years younger than I am. We're the only two humans here…it would be best if our comfortable friendship was preserved. There's nowhere to run if something got ugly or awkward._ She realized that her heartbeat had increased, and her fingers, buried in the black soil of Gentarra, trembled.

"Cap – Kathryn," Harry said, looking down at her with concern. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. How are you?" She managed to say naturally. He reached up to rub a kink in between his neck and shoulders.

"I'm okay. I finished my first plow blade today. Did it all by myself, without Hyral's help." He sounded excited at first, but then laughed as he thought of the ridiculousness of his words. She gazed at him in sympathy, understanding why he laughed…she was probably the only person in the universe who could understand.

First, Starfleet, the Federation, family, friends, and all things familiar were ripped away by the Caretaker. And as they made new family and new friends, upholding the ideals of Starfleet, that too vanished… they were abandoned, isolated on an alien world adapting to an alien culture, with all they had studied for, strived for, worked for…lost. Their eyes met, thoughts in perfect sync, in tune to the emotional roller coaster, the guilt for feeling happy or content, the bitterness of life askew, the endless what-ifs that cycled through their minds with self-mockery.

She stood to her feet then, dusting her hands off on the hem of her tunic, and placed one hand on his arm.

"We're doing okay, Harry."

"I know," he finally conceded. "And I'm glad you're here. It – it helps."

She looked up at him with her crooked smile…the one she usually reserved for Chakotay, and he felt the blood rush up to his face. The sun was slanting down and turning her hair a burnished gold…it was longer now, around her shoulders, and she… he banished those thoughts. _She's your commanding officer!_

She laid her head on his shoulder briefly, and he leaned his cheek on the top of her head, hoping she wouldn't feel the pounding of his heart. He half-expected her to pull away, command mask in place, showing the emotional control of a Vulcan.

"Thanks, Harry. That means a lot." She remained casually in his arms, as if she embraced Ensigns under her command every day.

"Anytime, Kathryn."

They stood in silence, savoring the moment, both of them hyper-aware of each other's proximity, and equally aware that – for the first time without hesitation or tentativeness – he had said her name.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chakotay strode through the corridor after a long, dull Alpha shift. He was tired, and he felt like the farther they got from Gentarra Prime, the more pieces his heart broke into. He passed the captain's quarters, and there was a catch in his even stride, not quite a stumble, but close. He still could not bring himself to take those quarters as his own. Tuvok had delicately broached the subject, and he had replied that his own quarters were fine.

It was bad enough that they had to call him Captain now, the ready room was his, the big chair was his. _Kathryn_, he thought, _murdered by a street thug._ He felt somehow to blame, as if he should have been protecting her. _And Harry. Probably the two people on _Voyager_ who wanted to get back home the most._ And now they never would.

Chakotay and Tuvok had decided on a somewhat rambling course away from Gentarra Prime… at about Warp Two, stopping at all the well-known spaceports and trade centers. Without really saying so to each other, they were both still gleaning what information they could about Gentarra Prime, neither exactly satisfied by the way things ended, but unable to give a logical reason.

Chakotay knew that without evidence, he could not reasonably prevent the crew from getting home. He and Tuvok had agreed to this plan until they left the sector, when they would then resume the most direct route to the Alpha Quadrant. _We won't find anything_, he mused, _but it does make me feel like I'm at least doing something. Tuvok would probably find that illogical._

Most of all, Chakotay realized that he missed Kathryn with almost physical pain. She was his captain, his best friend, his companion, his advocate, his lover, in all but the physical aspect. He was lonely. And he also began to realize the isolation she must have felt… why she never felt able to enter into a relationship. _It's lonely at the top_, the cliché tripped through his mind with ironic accuracy. _If only I'd understood…why she felt the way she did… if I'd have offered her what she could accept, instead of what I wanted her to accept…if only…_ He hit the bulkhead with his open hand, in frustration, and then swore as the pain of loss washed over him like a swamping wave.

He was drowning.

But then he shoved that thought aside as well, with characteristic Maquis single-mindedness. Kathryn was dead. She had been lost to him. The one thing he could do in her memory was get _Voyager_ home. And he would do that. For her. And hope that somehow she would know.

**TBC: Next chapter "The Absolution"**

**Please read and review. Thanks again to those who did. **


	3. The Absolution

**Disclaimer:** Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground 

**AN: **Thanks to all who have reviewed so far! Please continue to review…it's my sustenance! Also, in this chapter, I probably played a little fast and loose with the techno-babble. Sorry!

**To the-mad-scientist: **Thanks so much for your constructive review. I realize that "scream" was probably a poor choice of words…I really never pictured her in my mind doing the whole Fay Wray thing. She _was_ running and calling for help though…better part of valor, and all that.

**The Absolution**

Just a few weeks following their conversation by the fence, Kathryn and Harry noticed that colder weather seemed to be approaching. The wind had picked up, and the temperature dropped rapidly after the sun set. The Gentarrans seemed preoccupied with such tasks as canning food, preparing the fields to lie fallow, and seeing to the needs of the livestock. They were not, by nature, a jocular people, except for Prascor, but seemed to grow even more serious and intent.

"Prascor!" Kathryn called, seeing him pass by on the street outside her and Harry's house.

"Hm?" he looked up distractedly, and then his eyes cleared with recognition. He smiled. "Oh, Kathryn. Good day."

She fell into step beside him, which was a bit of an undertaking for her shorter legs.

"I wanted to ask you… what is going on? With all the preparations and the busyness, I mean?"

"I would have thought my brother would have filled you in."

"Prastin's been… otherwise occupied." Kathryn was unaware of how her words sounded, until Prascor snorted. She gave him a withering look. "Really, Prascor! And your niece due any time now!"

He laughed loudly, drawing a few strange looks from passing neighbors, until they saw that it was just Prascor again. He clapped her on the back, nearly making her stagger, and she couldn't help a look of chagrin. His more reserved brother was much more of a kindred spirit… although she couldn't help liking Prascor.

"Did you have seasons on your world?" Prascor asked, turning back to her initial question.

"Yes, we did… four, at least where I lived."

"How often did they recur?"

"Once for each rotation of Earth around our sun," Kathryn was wondering where this was going.

"Gentarra's axis is extremely erratic, but we do have a cold season and a warm season. They generally last one rotation each. As you can imagine, that is a long time for weather to be cold. We begin the preparations now… and take them quite seriously." He smiled. "Even me."

"In ten days' time, we will conclude our preparations, and have the _Irkalu_ feast. The tilt is predicted to occur two days after that. But the weather will begin to grow colder even before the tilt is fully realized."

"What is the _Irkalu_?" Kathryn queried.

"A feast of thanksgiving… as well as a farewell to the growing season. The winters here can be… severe. It is difficult to get around when the storms come through. This is an excuse for a party before winter sets in."

"What will we need to do to prepare our house?" Kathryn asked.

"I'll send Prastin by with a list," Prascor said. "Now if you'll excuse me… the roof of the medical office still needs to be sealed."

* * *

Kathryn finished filling Harry in on the precautions they needed to take before the Tilt occurred. They worked hard over the next week, sealing the roof, cutting back the plants, making sure there was plenty of firewood and heat cells. They also made sure the cellar was stocked, and this was Kathryn's first attempt at canning, which did not go well. 

Harry was outside on a ladder, making sure there were no cracks under the eaves, when he heard the sound of something shattering, as well as Kathryn swearing in as many languages as she knew.

He wisely chose not to enter the house.

By the time Kathryn had cleaned up the mess, as well as finished the canning she started (with perfect results on the second attempt), she was in a thoroughly bad humor.

She stalked to her room to get ready for the _Irkalu_, which would take place that night in the Council Hall. She had just finished plaiting her hair down her back, and was groping under her bed for her other shoe, when Harry stuck his head in the door.

"Kathryn, are you ready?" She said something that he did not catch from under the bed. "Pardon?"

"I said – 'as soon as I find my shoe'," she said, triumphantly, backing out from under the bed, with the offending object in tow. She slipped the soft leather shoe on easily over a green-stockinged foot, and stood.

"You look beautiful," Harry said sincerely, taking the picture as she got to her feet. She was wearing a slim green skirt with a tunic over it, belted in gold at her hips. There was exquisite embroidery around the sleeves and collar. "Did you do that yourself?" Kathryn snorted, but felt her bad mood dissipating.

"Why yes, didn't you know my sewing skills are second only to my prowess in cooking?!" Harry looked at her dubiously, and she laughed. "Kariva did it for me. Isn't it gorgeous?"

He nodded in agreement, and then noticed a polished stone hanging on a long gold chain around her neck. It was a marbled green color, and looked familiar.

"Is that the one…" he stepped closer and lifted the chain for closer examination.

"Y-yes, it's the one you found by the lake and gave to me." Kathryn replied, hoping she wasn't blushing. _Is my voice getting higher?_ "Hyral set it for me."

"It's gorgeous," Harry conceded, letting her necklace drop back into place. "And so are you."

The silence stretched out and got awkward. Harry wouldn't meet her gaze, afraid that he'd said too much. Kathryn tried to cover the gap in conversation.

"And what about you?" she said. "Gentarran formalwear definitely suits you." Harry was dressed in pants, tunic, and vest in jewel tones, with dark boots coming nearly to his knee.

He looked shy, and mumbled something about his hair being in his eyes.

"I can fix that," she said resolutely, and took a strip of leather from a small drawer in a bedside table. "Turn around," she said, before realizing that she was still looking into his shoulders. "Get down on your knees or something," she ordered peremptorily. She felt him laugh.

"There better not be any short comments forthcoming, Mister," she said, poking him in the back with her brush. She ran her brush through his dark hair a couple of times, and then used her fingers to smooth it as she fastened the thong at the nape of his neck. She tried to ignore how much she enjoyed the silky feel of his hair sliding through her fingers.

"That should work. It's still a little short, so the sides might fall out later on." She held out her hand to help him up, and found herself mesmerized by his eyes on hers. She backpedaled rapidly.

_No, no, no, this cannot happen. I will not allow this to happen. I am not ready for this to happen, _she thought, her mind racing. Dashing Harry, dashing not-in-a-uniform Harry, staring at her… she was not prepared for this. The door clattered behind her as she flung it wide in retreat.

Harry saw the divided emotions flit across her face, and wondered, as they headed for the center of the village, how many times Chakotay had seen the same thing.

* * *

"We are exiting the sector, Captain," Tom said from the helm, his voice heavy with significance. Chakotay glanced at Tuvok for affirmation, and then took a deep breath. 

"Set a course for the Alpha quadrant, Mr. Paris," Chakotay intoned. "Best possible speed."

Tom actually swiveled in his chair to look at Chakotay for a moment. He, of anyone else on board, knew what Chakotay was going through. He had lost the two people on the ship who meant the most to him, next to B'Elanna.

Chakotay understood the reason behind Tom's delay, and met the helmsman's gaze head on. He nodded, once and firmly. Tom turned back to his console.

"Course and heading laid in, sir," Tom's hands moved rapidly over the smooth surface.

"Engage," came the terse reply. There was an obliging chirp from the computer, as _Voyager_ surged to high warp.

The bridge was tense. Tom's shoulders were rigid. Ayala's face looked to have been chiseled from stone, as he stood at his new position at tactical. Tuvok was subtly watching Chakotay from his chair to Chakotay's right.

_Kathryn…_ it was a kind of sigh from the depths of Chakotay's divided soul. He was no longer sure he would ever be home, regardless of how much closer they came to the Alpha quadrant.

There had been murmurings from the Maquis, which had reached his ears. Fearful speculation on the treatment they'd receive when they arrived home, _if_ they arrived home… now that there was no longer a Kathryn Janeway to champion them… flitted throughout the ship uneasily.

The Alpha quadrant was no longer the shining beacon of hope that it had once been.

An alarm began to blare from Ensign McKay's console, and forced Chakotay from his musings.

"Report!" He barked.

"There's an unidentified vessel approaching… correction, there are three vessels – on an intercept course, Captain," she replied.

"Onscreen."

The viewscreen shimmered to life, showing two ships in the act of winging out to either side of a central ship, in battle formation.

"Open a channel," Chakotay ordered. He didn't like the looks of this. Ensign McKay's console chirped.

"This is Ca – " he was interrupted by a speaker from one of the alien vessels.

"You will stand down all weapons and prepare to be boarded," came a disembodied voice.

"We merely seek passage through your system on our journey home," Chakotay tried, thinking that they were answering to a charge of trespassing.

"We have scanned your vessel. You have Gentarran technology that is illegal in our star system. You will submit to boarding and inspection."

Chakotay felt his temper rise. _Damn_ the Gentarrans. He was beginning to wish he had never heard of them.

* * *

The air was crisp and cold as Harry and Kathryn walked the kilometer or so to the Council Hall. Stars studded the black sky, like ice chips, in that way that only occurs in the wintertime. 

"It's a beautiful night," Kathryn remarked, trying to ignore the sting that came with gazing at unfamiliar stars.

"Look!" Harry exclaimed, grabbing her elbow, and pointing upward. "There in the crook of Flaron's staff!" A shooting star streaked across leaving a wide, bright trail behind it.

Kathryn gave Harry a sidewise look. "You know Gentarran astronomy?"

Harry looked sheepish. "Hyral's been teaching me." Her eyes lit up like a child's, and Harry's heart constricted.

"Show me!" She said excitedly. He bent closer to her, so they would be looking from the same angle.

"That's Flaron, the sheep herder… or _grehnak_-herder, I guess. See, those stars close together are the crook of his staff, his hand is outstretched…there's his sash…"

"What about those five stars there, in a straight line?"

"That's a stake." Kathryn looked questioningly at him.

"Weylor was impaled on it. He went crazy and killed a bunch of people two hundred years ago." Kathryn was horrified.

"So they immortalized him in the stars?" Harry shrugged, in a _what can I say?_ manner.

"Do you know any more?"

"Over here, is Yuthonna… she's the water-maiden. See the cluster of stars? That's a flower in her hair, and that spiral pattern is her water jug. And here…" he moved with her, his face next to hers, across the sky, and pointed out another constellation. "… here is Thedahl, her lover. He's on his knees, with his head in his hands."

"Why is he so sad? And why are they so far apart?" Kathryn asked.

"She was promised to another. They were in love, but she wouldn't marry him. The jealous new husband finally had him executed, but that caused Yuthonna to kill herself. Hyral said they are separated in the sky for all eternity because they were separated at death."

Kathryn stared up in the sky, transfixed, and then looked at Harry in wonder. She reached up one hand, as if to touch his cheek.

"I had no idea…" she murmured softly, but checked her hand suddenly, and thrust her hands deep in her pockets. She darted a glance at him, and said in a brisk tone of voice, "We better get going, or we'll be late."

* * *

"Who are you?" Chakotay asked. 

"We are the Fylari," came the voice impatiently. "Gentarran technology is illegal in our space. Prepare to be boarded."

"We were unaware of the restriction of their technology. What are our options?"

"You are in our space. Prepare to be boarded," came the implacable voice.

Chakotay rolled his eyes, and signaled to Ensign McKay to cut the channel.

"Ayala, get a security team and let's meet them in the transporter room."

"Sir?" Ayala was incredulous. "We're just going to let them board and inspect us?"

"You would prefer that they blow us out of the sky, Lieutenant?" Chakotay asked dryly. "Hopefully we can extricate ourselves from this situation without violence." Ayala looked taken aback, and subsided.

"Open the channel again, Ensign," the captain directed. "We are transmitting coordinates. You are welcome to beam over and inspect our ship."

"Your cooperation is very… wise, Captain," came the voice. "We will be transporting shortly."

* * *

The Council Hall was bright with both candlelight and solar cells. Archways and ceiling beams were festooned with garland and greenery. A large fire roared in the fireplace at one end of the hall. A group of musicians played at the opposite end, with a variety of stringed instruments and a couple of wooden flutes that had slides in a similar manner to trombones. 

The atmosphere was festive and the murmur of conversation was quite loud. There was a long table loaded down with food and drink… including a kind of spiced wine called _faplaria _that was a regional specialty.

The background music ceased, and the band struck up what sounded like a kind of reel. The floor immediately cleared for dancers.

"Do you want to dance?" Harry asked, jerking his head in the direction of the dancers.

"I want a drink," Kathryn said succinctly, smiling at him to take the sting out of her words. She patted him on the shoulder, in lieu of excusing herself, and made her way toward the buffet table at the back of the Hall.

Harry noted Hyral's younger sister standing by herself, swishing back and forth to the music, and made a decision.

"Hynali?" he asked. "Would you like to dance?"

The pretty young woman's face lit up. "You honor me, Harry," she said formally, although a teasing smile played about the corners of her lips. He caught her hand in one of his, and whirled her out on to the dance floor.

Kathryn stood at the back of the room, with her goblet in hand, chatting with Prastin and Kariva (who was, of course, not dancing). She tried not to notice Harry dancing with Hyral's sister. The tempo of the music increased, and both of them collapsed in gales of laughter, as Harry misstepped and nearly took them both down.

They threaded through the other dancers, and Harry got them each a goblet of wine. They were still laughing as they walked up to Hyral and Harana, who began ribbing them on their performance almost immediately.

Kathryn turned her eyes back to Prastin, although she had no idea what he was saying. She glanced at Kariva, who smiled at her knowingly. Kathryn felt herself flush.

_He's too young. He's an officer under my command. _

_**What command?** _Another voice answered derisively.

_Why is he doing this anyway? We're going to leave as soon as the portal reopens._

_**So he can't have a life while he's here? 5 years is a long time to just cool your heels. Nobody ever said I couldn't have a life either.**_

I can't… not with him. He's – 

**_Don't start with the protocol garbage. Shouldn't I be heartily sick of that by now? There's no _Voyager. _There's no Federation. No one but us._**

He's a boy. Why would he want me, when he can have – 

_**More excuses, Kathryn. He's made it pretty clear how he feels about you.**_

Yeah, it's great to be wanted because you're the only other human on the planet.

She had just started down this glum train of thought, when Prastin pressed another goblet into her hand. She blinked at him, startled.

"Thank you," she said, hoping she hadn't looked too distracted. She darted another glance at Harry. Hyral had just clapped Harry on the shoulder, whooping with laughter at something that had been said. Harana was wiping away tears of mirth.

A chilling thought entered Kathryn's mind. _What if he doesn't want to leave when the portal opens? What if he decides to stay here? _The thought of complete and utter isolation was one of the few things that made Kathryn truly afraid. **_If I push him away, he may get involved with someone, and decide to stay._**

"You could just go talk to him, Kathryn," Kariva said gently, smiling not unkindly. Kathryn looked abashed.

"Am I really that obvious?" She asked with chagrin.

"Kariva is extremely astute, Kathryn." Prastin interjected. "But when even I notice…" Kathryn laughed half-heartedly, and drained the rest of her wine.

Harry, for his part, was not unaware of Kathryn's gaze on him. It made his palms sweat and his heart race. _I'm acting like an idiot. It's obvious she still thinks of me as a kid and an ensign she's in charge of. Even if… do I really want to be a substitute for something she's always wanted but will never have now? _Tendrils of hair framed her face, and glowed in the firelight. He felt something in his stomach tighten. _God, she's beautiful._

She looked across at him then. The electricity that crackled between them surprised them both. Kathryn dropped her goblet, and it shattered on the wooden floor. In the ensuing chaos, Harry asked Hynali to dance again.

* * *

Chakotay stood tensely in the transporter room, with Ayala and two armed security guards. Four Fylari soon materialized on the platform. 

"These areas gave out Technology Alerts," the first Fylari said, handing Chakotay a kind of PADD. "You will take me there immediately."

"Might I have the pleasure of your name?" Chakotay bit out, not even trying to sound polite.

"I am Pynor, commander of Fylari Fleet Battalion Pilasta. Now, if you please, Captain…" Chakotay swallowed, his face dark with anger.

"This way, Commander," he led them first to sickbay.

By the time the party had reached Engineering, Chakotay had calmed down somewhat. Most of their purchases were not Gentarran in origin, but had some Gentarran modifications. The Fylari grudgingly tolerated these.

Pynor peered inside the dilithium matrix.

"You will remove your dilithium please. It will be confiscated."

"What the hell?" Chakotay exclaimed.

Pynor gazed at him placidly. Chakotay reined in his temper.

"I'm afraid that is not possible. That fuels our ship's warp engine. We would be crippled without it." Chakotay tried to appeal his case.

The Fylari gestured to two of his men to forcibly remove the dilithium.

"You're pirates, aren't you? This is some kind of elaborate ruse, isn't it?" Chakotay guessed. "Do you use the dilithium for your fleet, or do you sell it to the highest bidder?"

Pynor narrowed his reptilian eyes, and chuckled. "You humans may be foolish, but you are not stupid. Now, do you see how highly advisable it is to acquiesce to our demands?"

"Get away from the engine!" Chakotay said in a low tone. The Fylari took no notice of him, and he nodded to one security officer, who opened fire.

He took out the two Fylari, before the third, still standing by Pynor, shot him with a small blaster. Chakotay took a defensive stance, drawing his phaser, but the Fylari, including the two that were stunned, quickly shimmered out of sight.

The remaining security officer looked around, nonplussed, when it suddenly dawned on Chakotay the reason for their sudden disappearance. He slapped his communicator.

"Bridge! Shields up! Red alert!" The klaxon began to wail, as the first volley hit them. He and Ayala headed for the bridge at a dead run.

* * *

The fire in the Council Hall shot up sparks, as two young Gentarrans threw another large log onto the embers. It soon began to crackle merrily again. The crowd had dwindled some, but the people who could still stand were still dancing. 

Kathryn had been standing quietly in the corner, talking with one half of her mind, while the other half tried to garner up courage to approach Harry. There was a round of clapping and cheers as another dance came to a close. Harry smiled and bowed jauntily to his partner, as they left the floor. Now was her chance. She drained her fourth – fifth? – goblet of wine, and walked up to him.

"I'm ready for that dance now," she said, lifting her chin, as if daring him to turn her down. His eyes danced, as he took her hand, leading her out to the center of the Hall, as the music started anew.

She had just started enjoying the feel of his arms around her, when her feet faltered, and she felt dizzy. She stopped him.

"Can we just take a walk instead?" she asked him, adding unnecessarily, "I think I'm a little drunk."

"Really?" he said blandly, causing her to narrow her eyes at him. He took her left hand in his, and put his right arm around her, ready to support her, if need be. They exited the Hall.

The cold air was a shock, and helped the fuzzy feeling dissipate somewhat. She huddled closer to Harry… he was so warm.

"Did you enjoy the party?" he asked her.

"It was a nice party," she said. "You certainly were a hit!" He gave her a measured look, to see if anything else was behind that remark.

"Thanks, but if someone had just said the word, all those other ladies would have had to find another person to dance with." She stopped walking and looked at him, and his eyes burned into hers.

"You don't know what you're saying. I'm old, and your captain besides. Why would you wa – "

"You're beautiful," he breathed, his voice barely audible. Kathryn felt a shudder go down her spine. "And of what exactly are you the captain?"

"I a - " Anything else she might have said was cut off by his lips on hers. They were firm and warm, a contrast to the cold air nipping at her ears and cheeks. She felt herself begin to sag against him, as her knees were failing to hold her up. His arms crushed her to him tightly, and her arms went around his neck, her fingers threading through his long dark hair.

They kissed until they were forced to breathe, and when they broke apart, Kathryn's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were starry. Harry was breathing hard, unable to process exactly what had just happened. Kathryn stood up on tiptoe then, and kissed _him_, a long, tantalizing, sensuous kiss.

"Let's go home," she murmured.

* * *

Alarms were blaring all over the ship, as the engineering station on the bridge went up in a shower of sparks. Smoke poured from the fried relays. Two lucky shots from Ayala had disabled one Fylari vessel and destroyed another. 

"Shields down to 18 percent!" Ensign McKay shouted over the red alert.

"B'Elanna, can we go to warp?" Chakotay called over the comm system.

"If we hurry!" came B'Elanna's voice amid crackles of static. "We're looking at cascade failure here, and I'm not going to be able to stay ahead of it for long. If you're going, go!"

"All reserve power to aft shields. Tom, bring us about! Mike, fire at anything you can target." _Voyager_ limped around at what seemed at agonizingly slow pace. The ship shook under fire once again, then there was a large explosion. The engines ground to a halt.

"We're going to have to stop," B'Elanna said. "We've just lost a nacelle!" Chakotay shot an alarmed glance at Tuvok.

"What's the status of that other Fylari ship, Mike?"

"Their shields are low, and it looks like their warp reactor is starting to fluctuate."

"Target the reactor, and fire," Chakotay said evenly. Ayala did so.

"Direct hit, sir. Their core is destabilizing… they've ejected it!"

"On screen!" A small object was propelled away from the Fylari flagship, but it was not enough. When it exploded, the Fylari ship was ripped apart, and the recoil of it knocked _Voyager _out of control.

"I've lost the helm!" Tom said frantically, his fingers flying over the console.

"Is there anywhere we can set her down?" Chakotay asked.

"There's a Class M planet, just back over the border in Gentarran space," Ensign McKay offered. The dampers had failed, and Chakotay felt the G-forces press against him, as _Voyager_ hurtled through space.

"B'Elanna, can you engage the thrusters from there? Full reverse?"

"Hold on," B'Elanna called back, out of breath, as if she were running across Main Engineering.

She must have been successful, for _Voyager_ spun to a halt, knocking everyone from their chairs as the G-forces reversed on them. Not a few crewmen on other decks lost their lunches. The thrusters stopped, then engaged again, propelling them steadily across the Fylari border.

"I want reports!" Chakotay barked. "How bad is it?"

"It's bad, Captain," B'Elanna added. "We've got to set her down. The nacelle is still attached, but not by much!"

"Is it drifting?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes! If it hits the ship….!" B'Elanna trailed off. The result did not bear thinking about.

"Try to get it with the tractor beam! Can you set her down manually, Tom?"

"I think so, sir," Tom replied, and turned all his concentration to the task.

* * *

Sunlight streamed through a window, but the warmth was deceptive. The windowpane itself was cold, had either of the occupants of the bed deemed it necessary to touch the window. She was cradled on his chest, their legs intertwined. He began to stir, and she shivered, reaching down to pull the covers further up over her shoulders. 

He captured her hand, and pulled it up to his lips, kissing it tenderly. She withdrew it from his grasp, her eyes still closed, and reached for the covers again.

He let her snuggle under the covers, before leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips. She responded ardently, and their kissing became much more urgent. She opened her eyes, and smiled at him fuzzily.

"I love you – " she finished her sentence with a name. A name that wasn't his.

Harry jerked away in pain, cold water figuratively thrown over his ardor. _I knew, I **knew**_ _she loved him, and I let myself – let myself - _He threw back the covers suddenly, and fled from the room.

Kathryn hazily came awake. She had been having a lovely dream about New Earth, all about Chakotay and what she wished had happened while they were on that planet alone. She opened her eyes as the door slammed shut. She reached over to Harry's imprint on the bed… it was still warm.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. Her dream had been so vivid. She knew she should regret what she and Harry had done, but she really didn't. Chakotay was a dream, a faraway unattainable dream, and Harry was a reality… a delicious reality.

"Harry?" she called out. There were heavy footfalls outside her door, then the front door slammed shut.

* * *

_Voyager _came in roughly, veering to one side as one landing prop failed, and skidding to a halt. More sparks flew as other consoles exploded. Chakotay peered through the smoke and dust, searching for movement among his bridge crew. 

"Is everyone okay?" He could see vague movements from his crew. "I want a status report."

There was silence, punctuated by some groans as people got to their feet. Lights from consoles flickered dimly. Ensign McKay braced herself against her station, and hit a few controls.

"We've got life support, some replicators…. Weapons are gone, shields are gone….the engines look pretty bad."

Backup generators finally flickered on, bathing the bridge in a dim glow.

"Chakotay to sickbay. Casualties?" _Thank the spirits we still have communications, _he thought.

"We've lost 11, Captain," the nasal voice of the EMH was sympathetic instead of strident. "I've got 8 injured in here so far, 4 severe, 1 critical. There are 23 still unaccounted for."

"Did we breach?" Chakotay asked. Ensign McKay checked.

"Yes," she replied somberly. "Hull breach on deck 10, sections 22 and 23."

"Crew quarters," he murmured dully. "Tom, can you get down to sickbay? Sounds like the doctor is going to need you."

"Aye sir," the helmsman replied promptly, and began trying to pry the turbolift doors open.

"Power's spotty, Lieutenant," McKay advised him. "I'd take a Jeffries tube."

"Thanks, Beth," he said, smiling briefly, and was gone.

_Oh, Kathryn, I am so glad you didn't see this_, Chakotay thought, emotional numbness stealing over him.

* * *

Kathryn dressed as quickly as possible, remembering to grab the knit hat, scarf, and mitts that Kariva had made for her, before barreling out the front door. The little street was quiet, no doubt with people sleeping off their merry-making of the previous night. There was no sign of Harry, but she knew where he'd be. 

Her quick, decisive strides carried her rapidly to the old tree near Prastin and Kariva's house, where he had gone when he first found out they were trapped here.

"You'll catch your death," Kathryn admonished him dryly, without preamble.

"Kathryn, go away," Harry said wearily.

"Not until you tell me why you ran!"

"I – I – we – I think we made a mistake," he finally said, still not looking at her.

"Why do you think that?"

"Oh come on, Kathryn!" His voice was angry. "I realize that I was just a good lay! I guess I should really be flattered. But I – I hoped -"

"A good lay?" Kathryn's voice was icy. Harry recognized the danger in her tone. "Is that really what you think of me, _Mr. Kim_? You think maybe I screwed random crewmen or even aliens from time to time, if I happened to be _horny??!_" Anger caused her voice to crack.

"No – I – god, no - " Harry stopped, and then started again. "For God's sake, you said his name. In bed, with me… and you said _his_ name."

The fight suddenly left Kathryn.

"Chakotay," she said dully. He turned toward her then, but she did not meet his gaze. "I was dreaming… about New Earth… about him, and – I'm sorry, Harry."

"No, I – I guess you can't help the way you feel. You can't help who you love." Naked longing was on his face, and Kathryn wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to himself.

"You're right," Kathryn conceded, and watched his face fall further. Then he lifted his chin resolutely.

"I'll be all right, Kathryn. We are all we've got, and I don't want to ruin it." He started to stand, and Kathryn stopped him, kneeling down next to him.

"Chakotay was a lovely dream. Something I hoped to have someday… that has now become quite impossible."

"Because you're stuck here."

"Because I'm with you." She spoke quickly, nearly before he could finish speaking, and watched hope steal across his features.

"We would have – _this_ would never have happened on _Voyager_. I can tell you that with the utmost assurance. But we're not on _Voyager._ And we'll never be on _Voyager_ again. Why – why should we deny ourselves this… if - " she nearly faltered, but finished, with her lips just millimeters from his, "if it's what we both want?"

His dark eyes burned into hers for a powerful fraction of a second, before he leaned forward to capture her lips with his own.

"Besides," Kathryn said, after they broke the kiss. "I want to try for home when the portal opens, and I want you to come with me."

"That was always my plan," he said, confused.

She filled him in on how she had been afraid, watching him dance with Hynali, that he might decide to settle down and stay here, even once the portal reopened. He smiled at her tenderly, wordlessly letting her know that she never had to fear abandonment from him.

"I'm going to be right here for you," he said, kissing her softly again, "For as long as you want."

**TBC **

**Next chapter: The _Renaissance_**

**Please review!**


	4. The Opportunity

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground

**AN 1: **I changed the title because this chapter was getting long, and I decided to divide it. "The _Renaissance_" will be next chapter.

**AN 2: **Kathryn and Harry had been on the planet 9 months at the _Irkalu_ feast. This is 18 months after that. I don't like counting on my fingers, so conversions from Earth time to Gentarran time will probably be kind of general.

**AN 3:** For clarification, the technological side of the door is Gentarra Prime, while the agrarian side is just Gentarra.

**The Opportunity**

_**18 months later (nearly 2 Gentarran starcycles)…**_

The work on _Voyager_ ground on at an almost infinitesimal pace. The planet on which they had landed was _Menshara_-class by the barest of margins, a barren, harsh, windswept world, with powerful atmospheric turbulence and occasional electrical storms.

They had used the shuttlecraft and the Delta Flyer to travel to nearby worlds for supplies… not an easy task since all three vessels were so small. The nearest spacefaring species was on a planet that was a week's travel away. Repairs slogged on intolerably slowly.

Chakotay walked over to B'Elanna, dusting his hands off on his coveralls as he went.

"How's it going?" he asked casually.

"Why do you ask me questions like that?" B'Elanna asked, annoyed, from her position under the detached nacelle. "It's going great! I've only been working on the same exact thing for a year!"

"B'Elanna, it's not your fault that we're str-"

"It's so frustrating!" She scooted out from under the junction she'd been rewiring, and looked at him plaintively. "If we had the right tools and equipment and personnel… this would have taken 4..5 months, tops."

"But we're getting there. At least _Voyager _is able to be repaired." B'Elanna narrowed her eyes at his positivity, and reluctantly smiled.

"What do you want?" she asked with mock rudeness.

"Just to shine a little sunshine on your day!" Chakotay said cheekily.

"If that's what you call sunshine," B'Elanna muttered darkly, casting disparaging glances on the weak, bluish light filtering down through thick clouds.

"Actually, that's why I came," Chakotay returned to seriousness. "Looks like another storm is rolling in. You've got about 10 minutes."

B'Elanna huffed back under the nacelle, muttering some obscenities about the frequency of the interrupting storms.

"You couldn't have commed me?" Her voice drifted up, sounding tinny.

"Well, there was the sunshine thing too," he said, and laughed as a tool flew towards him, clanking across the top of the nacelle. He picked it up, turned it over in his hands, and tossed it back to her under the nacelle. "Seriously, B'El, 10 minutes."

By the time, Chakotay had strolled around the rest of the area, most crewmen had received instructions to secure their workstations and return to the ship. Chakotay looked at _Voyager_, now shored up on the side where the landing prop had broken, one nacelle on the ground nearby, and the shiny new plating of repaired hull breaches looking patchily out of place. The clouds had thickened, and the wind had picked up. Thunder rumbled ominously.

"We'll get her back into the stars, Kathryn," he murmured softly, as he re-entered the ship through one of the airlocks left unsealed for that purpose. "I promise you that."

* * *

Kathryn and Harry had slipped into an easy and uncomplicated relationship, following some initial awkwardness. She was often aware of his watching her contemplatively, and knew that he still thought she was "settling" for him. For her part, she fell deeper in love with the man, Harry Kim, and was actually glad that they had 2 more years of idyllic living before facing again the hazards of space travel. Those risks would be compounded for them, she knew, without the comfort of a large ship and intimidating armaments.

"_Tharaku sonalo_," a voice spoke softly in Kathryn's ear, where she stood at the basin in the kitchen, washing dishes. She smiled and leaned back against him.

"Only you would say that like it's a come-on," she teased. He chuckled, and slid his hands down her wet arms to entwine with her soapy fingers.

"Isn't it?" he asked. His breath was warm on her neck, and Kathryn felt her knees wobble a little bit.

"Only in your mind," she retorted, but her voice caught a little in her throat. He noticed, and she felt him smile into the junction of her neck and shoulder.

"I don't believe you," he said softly, turning her towards him, oblivious to the drips of sudsy water from her fingertips.

"It's not nice to call people liars," she whispered, pressing her body against his.

"It's not nice to lie," he countered with a smile, his voice barely audible, his lips a hairsbreadth from hers. She closed the gap between them, and was amazed once again at the charge that shot through her, leaving her weak-kneed and breathless, even at just a kiss.

He pulled back and gazed at her for a moment, his eyes darkening with desire for her. The sensation of his burning stare was heady, and Kathryn pulled his head down for another kiss.

There was a perfunctory knock on the door, and Prascor stuck his head in. He took in their startled glances, Harry's wet shirt, and Kathryn's flushed cheeks.

"Do you two ever stop?" he asked with a grin. Harry looked less than pleased.

"Do _you_ ever knock?" he said, perturbed. Prascor was unfazed, and stepped the rest of the way into the room, revealing a dark-eyed toddler sitting on his shoulder.

"Rasila wanted to see you," he said. "Kariva said I could bring her by. I guess you asked her, then?" His merry eyes tripped back from one face to the other.

"Asked me what?" Kathryn said. Prascor's face fell. Harry lowered his face into one hand with an audible groan. Kathryn looked at Prascor, then back at Harry, with some concern.

"Asked me what?" she repeated, a little more loudly.

"I think I'll take my leave now," Prascor said, hurriedly. "Apologies, Harry." The door closed on him, even as he was speaking.

Harry had still not looked at Kathryn. She laid a hand on his arm.

"You know you can ask me anything," she said seriously. He dragged his gaze up to meet hers, and the emotion there gave Kathryn the sensation that she was drowning.

"_Perenkali. Nonthali wenkasu. Nonthali wemoranakor." _Harry finally got the words out in Gentarran, his dark eyes fixed on her face. Kathryn had trouble breathing.

_I love you. I want you for my wife. I want you to join with me._

She looked at him, as his features blurred through the sheen of tears in her eyes, and she smiled crookedly, half-laughing, half-crying. As he pulled her back into his arms, she voiced one tiny doubt that threaded its way into her consciousness.

"Harry," she said uncertainly. "A _ranak_ is a life-bond, you know."

"I'm counting on it," he said simply, and kissed her thoroughly.

She backed away from him. "But what if you meet someone…"

He threw his arms out to either side. "Who, Kathryn? Who is there for me to meet?" Annoyance had snaked its way into his voice. They had been over this before.

"If we make it back to the Alpha Quadrant--" Kathryn started.

"That was a pretty huge 'if' even when we were onboard _Voyager_. And now, it's mostly improbable. I'm not going to squander a relationship that I really want hoping for a relationship that is not even guaranteed to happen!"

Kathryn sighed, and looked out the window.

"I just can't help but think that I somehow manipulated you into this."

"What?!" Harry spluttered. "Who took advantage of whom while under the influence?"

"We have been over that before, Harry. I knew what I was doing, and I'm glad I did it." Kathryn rolled her eyes at him.

"So did I, and so am I," he finished softly, trapping her with her own words. She smiled softly then, and her eyes pleaded with him to understand her.

"I do love you, Harry. I just worry about robbing you of something you deserve. After all, I got you into this mess in the first place."

He pulled her back into his arms. "And look what I would have missed if you hadn't." He threaded his fingers through hers. "No regrets, Kathryn?" She leaned her head on his chest, and listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"No regrets," she whispered finally. "I promise."

* * *

A couple of alarms beeped on Tuvok's console, as the storm buffeted _Voyager_.

"The storm appears to be intensifying," Tuvok said in response to Chakotay's questioning look.

"How are we holding up?" Chakotay asked.

"_Voyager_ appears to be in no imminent danger. Some of the outbuildings that were erected for storage purposes are collapsing."

Chakotay swore under his breath. That was more time taken up restoring their storage facilities, restocking some of their supplies. Another alarm beeped, and Tuvok looked at Chakotay with haste, if not concern.

"We're losing the temporary landing gear," he said.

"Shit!" Chakotay said, out loud this time, and sprang from his chair. "Have a team meet me – "

"If I may, sir," Tuvok interrupted. "I will lead the team. The superior strength of Vulcans has been well-documented." Chakotay wavered for only the fraction of a second. Of course, Tuvok's suggestion was eminently…logical. He nodded, and the Vulcan strode quickly from the bridge, nodding at Ayala to join him.

Chakotay notified the others who would be needed, and had several anti-grav platforms sent to the cargo bay.

There was an ominous creaking sound, and _Voyager_, barely perceptibly, began to list.

"Chakotay to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here," the Vulcan sounded almost as if he were running.

"You don't have a lot of time."

"I am aware of that, sir. We are exiting the ship now. I will apprise you of our status presently."

"Understood. Chakotay out."

"I think we'll be able to figure out what's going on ourselves, when we're piled up like toy soldiers on top of the turbolift door," Paris quipped, from where he still sat at helm when Chakotay and Tuvok were on duty.

"Tom," Chakotay said warningly.

"Sorry sir," Paris replied and subsided.

A few more tense moments ratcheted by, with no one speaking. The slant of the deck became a little more pronounced. Chakotay drummed his fingers restlessly on the arm of the captain's chair.

"Tuvok…. Kotay. ….you read?"

"Just barely, Tuvok. The storm must be interfering."

"We… ost in position… should…activ…grav..shortly."

"The sooner the better, Tuvok."

Tuvok closed the comm channel, and struggled to see through the lashing rain. Thunder roared now, rather than grumbling, and lightning had left several patches of ground blackened and smoking.

"Are the units in position?" he shouted over the torrential downpour. Ayala nodded, saying something that was driven away unheard, by the wind.

"Have the units focus their energy right here!" He tapped a portion of _Voyager's _hull. The team were standing in a loose circle around the afflicted landing prop. The precise angling of the anti-grav units to direct the power flow under _Voyager_'s drive section would hopefully raise the ship enough to wedge and fuse enough tritanium to the support to prevent disaster. The power flow began to push _Voyager_ away from them slightly, but then wavered.

Tuvok looked at Ayala, who shouted, "The rain is interfering. It's hard to focus the power on one spot."

"Raise the frequency as high as the units will allow."

"That'll punch a hole in the ship!"

"It is the only choice we have, Lieutenant," Tuvok replied, as stolidly as he could under the circumstances. Ayala and his men adjusted the appropriate indicators, and tried again. The portion of the hull being pummeledbegan to rumble alarmingly, but held together, moving upward slowly and steadily.

Two other officers from Engineering who had been standing by pulled their visors down and began welding the necessary components to the prop. The other members averted their eyes from the dazzling light, while trying to hold their anti-grav units absolutely still.

"Let her down easy," Ensign Howard, one of the welders, said at length. "Let's see if she'll hold." One by one, the team members deactivated their units, causing _Voyager_ to lower gently to the earth.

"How is it?" Ayala asked, as Tuvok scanned it.

"It appears to be satisfactory," Tuvok replied. "Well done." He tapped his commbadge. "Tuvok to Bridge."

"Chakotay here." His voice was clearer, and it was then that Tuvok noticed that the rain appeared to be abating somewhat.

"The landing support has been successfully reinforced."

"Good work," Chakotay said warmly. "Tell everyone to take the rest of their shift to dry off and warm up."

"Aye sir," Tuvok said.

"Thanks, boss!" Ayala managed to call irreverently over the open channel.

Tuvok heard Chakotay chuckle before he closed the link.

* * *

"The _ranak_ is a simple ceremony," Kariva said to Kathryn and Harry, as they stood in the empty Council Hall. "As Head of the Council, Manlak will officiate."

"Manlak?" Kathryn interrupted, frowning at the thought of the dour council-leader. "I don't think he likes me."

"No, Kathryn, Rianah doesn't like you. Manlak just doesn't approve of you." Harry said helpfully, and she gave him a mock glower.

"You two are as bad as Prascor!" Kariva said, waiting for them to stop bickering so she could continue. "Pay attention. Gentarrans have the advantage of already knowing how this ceremony is conducted. You don't."

"Yes, ma'am," Harry said, so meekly that Kariva shot him a look.

"The guests will be standing on this side of the room. Kathryn, you will be among them. Harry will enter the room at the prescribed time. You must then locate Kathryn among the guests."

Harry must have gotten a somewhat panicked look on his face, for Kariva added hastily, "It will not be that hard. It is just symbolic of your search for your _kalen-ranaki_, the other half of your soul."

Harry grinned, and Kathryn slanted him a look, coloring slightly.

"When you find her, you must lead her up to Manlak, holding her right hand in your right hand, walking behind her to symbolize your reverence for your union.

"Then you will both say the words of Joining. _Adlekhali wentak lothilan. Nonthali wenkasu. _Kathryn will say '_Nonthali wenkaru'_" Kariva substituted 'husband' for 'wife' in the last line.

"I have chosen you above all others," Kathryn murmured, translating from Gentarran to English.

"_Have_ you?" Harry asked meaningfully, self-doubt creeping over his handsome features.

"_Adlekhali wentak lothilan_. _Perenkali_." She repeated, adding _I love you, _her eyes never straying from his. There was a long frozen moment between them, where their feelings for each other seemed almost a tangible thing in the room.

"There will be plenty of time for that on your sojourn," Kariva said briskly, and they reluctantly turned away from each other. "After the words of Joining, you will come here to this table. Harry, you will carve the meat and pour the wine, signifying your duty to always provide for your wife. Then Kathryn, you will add the seasoning, signifying your responsibility to always enhance the life of your husband. You will both feed each other the food and then the wine, signifying your mutual support for and dependence upon each other. Before you cross the threshold, your hands will be tied together palm to palm, to signify the beginning of your new journey together, as one unit." She paused, and asked hesitantly. "Does that make sense?"

"It sounds remarkably similar to some of the ceremonies on Earth," Kathryn replied.

Three days later, they were joined in a _ranak_-bond in the Council Hall, with almost the entire village present. The Gentarrans had become fond of the two off-worlders who tried their hardest to absorb and embrace every facet of their culture.

After the words of Joining had been spoken, Kathryn looked at Manlak for the cue to move to the table for the sharing of the repast. To her surprise, Manlak looked at Harry, and asked,

"The rings?" Harry pulled something small from the pocket of his formal tunic, and handed it to Manlak.

Ceremonially, Manlak handed it back to Harry, and then handed something to her as well. Between her fingers, Kathryn felt the heavy thickness of a man's wedding band. It was made of burnished Gentarran ore, more the color of copper, and had a simple pattern etched around its circumference.

She looked at Harry then, and parted her lips to speak, but he slid her ring on her finger, quoting the traditional Earth ceremony from memory.

"With this ring…" She looked at her finger through a blur of tears, managing to note that her ring matched his, and also had a beautifully set stone, matching the one he had found for her shortly after they had arrived here.

She whispered the vows back to him, willing her throat not to close around her words.

"What made you decide to do that?" She asked him as they walked to the table.

"I wanted there to be something of Earth in our wedding. Do you like it?"

"Very much," was all she had time for, as the last phase of the ceremony began.

Presently, the _ranak_ concluded, and Kathryn and Harry left for their sojourn, a traditional Gentarran event somewhat like a honeymoon. It would last almost an entire _huri_. There were calls of good wishes from the Gentarrans, as Harry and Kathryn left.

* * *

The holodeck had been decorated like a swanky dance hall. Neelix had postulated that after the storm, a particularly violent one at that, and the near miss with the landing prop, that the crew needed a party. Chakotay had agreed with the general veracity of that statement, although what he privately thought he needed was a back massage and a bottle of really strong liquor.

"You know you can't tolerate alcohol, Chakotay." The reproving, yet amused voice of Captain Kathryn Janeway rang so strongly in his head that he actually looked over his shoulder for her.

The murmur of the crew dwindled down slowly as they heard a clear ringing sound of silverware pinging on glass.

"Neelix and I want to thank you all for coming. And I just found out that we have a reason to celebrate. B'Elanna told me today that she and her team have completed the nacelle work. They will begin reattaching it this week!" A collective cheer went up, and Tom lifted his wine glass. "May she continue to carry us home, though she be held together with spit and bailing wire."

"Who? B'Elanna?" came a voice, and there was muffled laughter.

"To _Voyager_," Tom said, as someone threw something toward his head. Chakotay thought it was Tom's wife, and concealed a grin behind one hand.

"Hear, hear," the crew echoed, and the buzz of conversation resumed. Piped-in music began, and Chakotay recognized it as that of Harry and his band. A familiar wistful ache settled in his chest somewhere. He missed Kathryn so much that her absence was a kind of constant phantom pain; he was never unaware of it.

"Tuvok to Chakotay," chirped over his communicator. Chakotay opened the channel discreetly.

"Chakotay here."

"Ensigns Danvers and McKay have arrived in Shuttle One. They have informed me that the Delta Flyer is perhaps a half-day behind them."

"Did they have any trouble?" One of the constant worries about sending small craft out was that they would be hijacked or pirated.

"Apparently not, sir. The repairs have been going smoothly of late. With the completion of the nacelle, _Voyager_ may be able to lift off in the next 6-8 months."

"Really?" Chakotay's interest was piqued. Was it the light at the end of the tunnel? "You aren't just being optimistic, are you, Tuvok?"

"Vulcans are never optimistic. Sir." Tuvok's voice was dryness personified. Chakotay laughed.

"Send the ensigns down to the party. They deserve it. And you ought to come down yourself."

"I will inform Ensign Danvers and Ensign McKay." Tuvok did not respond to Chakotay's last comment at all, and Chakotay found this more hilarious than if he'd said he would be there with bells on.

"Thanks, Tuvok. Chakotay out."

* * *

She sauntered up behind him on one of the last days of the warm season, as he worked sharpening a blade in Hyral's forge.

"Hello, love," she said casually, causing Harry to jump, drop the blade, and swear. She smiled, but looked immediately contrite at his glare.

"Sorry," she said, clamping her lips together tightly.

"Yeah, you look real sorry," Harry grumbled, but his eyes twinkled. "Why do you have to sneak up on me like that?"

"Why are you always so jumpy?" Kathryn countered. "You'd think you lived in some crime-infested spaceport instead of a beautiful rural village." Harry raised one eyebrow at her.

"Feeling expansive today, are we?" He asked sardonically.

"It's a nice day," she said defensively. "One of the last we'll have for awhile. The _Irkalu _is in 3 days, you know."

He murmured something like an assent, and kissed the top of her head, then turned back to his work, pumping a foot pedal to get the whetting stone back up to speed.

The screech of metal against stone drowned out the next thing she said, and she tapped him on the shoulder. He dropped the blade again.

"Dammit, Kathryn!" he exclaimed, picking up the recalcitrant piece of hardware.

She blinked, and he realized that he'd hurt her feelings. She turned wordlessly to walk out of the forge, and he called after her,

"Kathryn, wait! I- I'm – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. What did you need?" She stopped walking at his words, but did not immediately turn around. She seemed to be debating with herself, but then did turn around.

"I wanted to tell you something – ask you some – well, two things actually, and –" she sounded a little breathless, and Harry eyed her curiously.

"Kathryn, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong. What – why? Do _you_ think something's wrong?"

"No, I don't think anything's wrong," Harry said with some frustration. "Why would I think something is wrong?"

"Kathryn! Harry!" a voice said, and they both looked up to see Prastin heading toward them at a dead run. They glanced at each other in alarm.

"Prastin, what is it?" Kathryn asked, after she and Harry met him out in the yard of the forge. Prastin leaned forward, placing the palms of both hands on his thighs, and tried to catch his breath.

"The beacon," he panted. "The beacon has activated."

"It's early."

"What's going on?"

"What are they doing?" Kathryn and Harry's words tripped over each other.

"The alarm went off when the beacon activated. So – so, I went out to the meadow to see, and they – the scientists … from Gentarra Prime had sent a signal to try and send something over."

"What?" Kathryn was stupefied, and a tiny tiny hope caused her heart to begin pounding in her chest.

"It's not your turn to send supplies." Harry stated the obvious, with caution tempering his tone.

"I know, I know. It seems that the scientists have been working on two-way transfer for some time now. Maybe some rumors of you reached them, who knows?"

"Could you ask?" Kathryn said, with excitement creeping into her voice.

"The communications system is very rudimentary. We use it as little as possible. But anyway, they asked me to test it, and I sent over a basket of fruit, and…" he paused dramatically. "It worked. I got a transmission back that they had received it. And then they returned it."

Harry and Kathryn exchanged dumbfounded glances.

"What does this mean for us?"

"The scientist who heads up the project came across and stayed for one cycle, while the beacon was still in development. His name is Lurtak, and he is a good man. I do not know the politics of Gentarra Prime, but I cannot think that it would be safer for you to go back undetected."

"Why would anyone wish us harm?" Harry asked.

"This is top-secret technology. Do you think that they would let you live with this knowledge, much less let you leave Gentarra Prime?" Prastin asked. He let the truth of his statement sink in for a moment. "If you go now, while they're still testing it, before the government agents begin overseeing the supply transfers, I think Lurtak will aid you in your quest."

"You think or you know?" Harry queried somewhat testily. Kathryn shot him a look.

"I cannot say with any certainty, but I believe that this is your best chance."

Harry and Kathryn stood motionless for a moment. Without conscious thought, Kathryn's hand stole out to twine with Harry's. They began to talk at the same time.

"We've got to pack."

"I've got to say good-bye to Prascor and Hyral."

"What about Kariva and Rasila?"

"Listen to me!" Prastin said forcefully, interrupting. "I said 'if you go now', and I meant it. You have 5 minutes to get anything from your house. And then you've got to go." All three exchanged long glances, and the humans began to hurry back to their home.

"I'll meet you at the beacon. Hurry!" Prastin called after them.

Back at their house, Kathryn and Harry began to hurriedly fill two knapsacks with keepsakes and mementos.

"What about clothes?" Harry asked. "They don't dress like this on Gentarra Prime. We can't wear our uniforms… they'll give us away." Kathryn thought a moment.

"Take the uniforms, but leave the jackets. That will be nondescript enough. Surely Lurtak will let us change."

"If he's the kind of man Prastin says he is," Harry muttered darkly.

"I would trust Prastin with my life." Kathryn said with confidence.

"Anything else?" Harry asked, shouldering one knapsack. He saw Kathryn's left hand flex, as she made sure she had her ring. She picked up the other pack.

"I think that's all," Kathryn said slowly, her mind sifting through the jewelry that Harry had set for her from native stones, the ribbon that had tied their hands at their _ranak_ scarcely two months before, a blanket that she had made herself, a few tools that Harry had handcrafted at Hyral's forge. "It's not very much, is it?"

"The most important thing will be walking beside me," Harry said tenderly.

They left the house, slowly and in silence, but hurried once they reached the path to the beacon. Prastin was waiting for them, along with Kariva and Rasila. They each held a package.

Prastin handed Kariva's package to them. "These are some raw herbs used in making medicines. And this," Harry grunted as Prastin handed him a much heavier package, "is a few plates of ore. Both of these will fetch a good price on the market. You can use them to buy supplies for your ship."

"We don't have a –-" Kathryn began, but Prastin stopped her by holding up a soft leather bag, pulled closed with a drawstring.

"This is a _farip_," he said. "Like on your necklace. It's one of the most precious stones on Gentarra Prime. One this size will probably buy you a ship. Guard it well."

"Prastin, we can't --" Harry tried to demur. Kathryn's hand crept up to the pendant around her neck, and she dropped the chain inside her blouse so it would be unseen.

"You don't have time to argue with me. It would take you star-cycles to work and save up enough money for a ship, and you would risk being discovered. You've got to go now."He pressed thebag into Kathryn's hand, and stepped up to the beacon,beginning to tapin a sequence.

Kathryn caught Kariva and Rasila in a tight embrace.

"I'm going to miss you both so much," she choked out.

"And I you, Kathryn," Kariva said warmly. "Take these. We had hoped to make them a gift to you at the _Irkalu_." She handed Kathryn Rasila's package.

"What are they?"

"They are the goblets you shared at your _ranak_. We saved them for you so you could use them in memory of that day."

Kathryn's eyes filled with tears, and she felt Harry's hand squeeze hers.

"Thank you so much. For everything."

The beacon began to hum.

Prastin walked behind them, and gave them instructions.

"It's as easy as when you came across before. Just walk past the beacon when the light begins to flash, and you'll come through the door on Gentarra Prime."

"Prastin," Kathryn said only this, but Prastin understood, and gave them a long measured glance.

"You will both be missed." Prastin said. "Good journey." The light begin to flash. "Go!"

Hands tightly intertwined, Harry and Kathryn walked in step toward the beacon.

"Good jou'ney, Kafryn. Bye, Harry!" came Rasila's childish treble. Kathryn turned for one last look.

And they were gone.

**TBC**

**Next chapter: The _Renaissance_ (I promise)**

**Thanks for being so patient. Sorry the update was so long in coming.**


	5. The Renaissance

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.

**The _Renaissance_**

The pastoral setting vanished from around them the instant they passed by the beacon. They were standing in a sterile white room, filled with sundry intimidating dials, buttons, levers, and gauges… the room that, Kathryn guessed, resided behind the door when the device was not activated toward Gentarra.

There were two Gentarrans in the room, conferring intently over a series of readouts. Kathryn and Harry exchanged glances with each other, their hands still tightly clasped together. Neither scientist had noticed them as yet, and Kathryn stepped forward slightly.

"Lurtak?" She inquired simply, eyebrows raised. The aura of command had fallen over her as easily as a garment.

Both men started, and one, the younger of the two, swore almost inaudibly.

"I am Lurtak," the other spoke cautiously.

"Prastin sent us," Kathryn chose her words carefully. Lurtak darted a sideways glance at his colleague, and dismissed him with a gesture.

"Say nothing," Lurtak admonished him in a guarded tone, his lips barely moving. The underling made no visible response, but turned crisply and left.

"Retorran is discreet. He will not speak out of turn. You are the ones missing from that Earth ship during the last cycle?"

"We are," Kathryn replied. "Are we in danger here?"

"You are. You hold much knowledge that has long been kept secret. Most native Gentarrans dismiss it as mere myth. It is safer that way. If it is known that off-worlders have returned from … there, your lives will not be worth a Charelian _ubak_."

"What are you going to do with us?" Harry finally ventured.

"Prastin is a good man."

"That is what he said about you," Kathryn interjected.

"If he has sent you to me, he must believe you to be worthy of trust. What are your plans?"

"He sent us with some items for trade. He gave us this," Kathryn tossed the leather bag to Lurtak, while Harry made an involuntary movement of alarm. Lurktak hefted the weight of it in his hand, but did not loosen the drawstring.

"A _farip_?" he wondered. Kathryn nodded. "It is a princely gift."

"We wish to buy a ship, outfit it for deep space travel, and continue on our journey home. We have no desire to stay on Gentarra Prime longer than necessary."

"Just the two of you? It would be a perilous journey," Lurtak observed.

"We are determined to try," Harry replied. Lurtak looked at their hands then, which had been brushing together softly, Harry's thumb absently curling around Kathryn's. He looked at both of them with a curious glance and a small smile, but said nothing.

"I am no fan of Chancellor Yegran's policies. This was an accident that was no fault of yours. If the door had been properly secured, it would not have happened. I will do my best to conceal your whereabouts until you are ready to depart."

"Lurtak, we d--" Kathryn began to speak, to voice her trepidation about possibly placing him at risk, but a wave of dizziness swamped her, and her words trailed off, as she groped blindly for some kind of support.

"Kathryn?" Harry looked at her in concern, but was then forced to grab for the edge of a console to prevent falling over as well. "What's going on?" He asked, as Lurtak helped Kathryn to a chair.

"It is the Travel Sickness. Unfortunately, it strikes all those who travel through the portal. It will pass in a couple of days."

Kathryn had rested her head in her hands, to keep from looking at the room swimming around her. "We weren't sick when we arrived on Gentarra."

"For some reason, it is always worse on the return trip, as you realign yourself to the universe you were meant to be in. We haven't figured out why yet, but it seems fairly mild and transient."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Harry mumbled, and Lurtak passed him a small receptacle quickly. "Mild, you say?" he asked with some irony, after retching violently.

"Is there somewhere we could go… and lie down?" Kathryn asked, still not looking up. Lurtak looked apologetic.

"I'm afraid we'll need to wait until nightfall. We can proceed back to my house under the cover of darkness. It is not far away. You will probably have to stay concealed," He directed this part of his speech to Kathryn. "Hair that color will be noticed and remembered. He could probably pass for Gentarran at a glance, with his hair the way it is." He jerked his head in the direction of Harry, with his Gentarran ponytail at the nape of his neck. "He will be able to transact your business for you, and I will help in any way that I can."

"Do you know what became of our ship?"

"I'm afraid not. They did not stay in orbit long. Yegran probably told them you were dead."

"They'll be long gone by now," Harry noted.

"We expected no different," Kathryn said in her best Janeway voice. She smiled then, but kept her eyes cast downward. She stroked the back of her hand down his cheek, and he kissed her fingertips as they glided by. "We're going to be all right, Harry."

He leaned his face towards the warmth of her hand.

"I know."

* * *

Lurtak waited until the sun had sunk completely below the horizon and the foot traffic on the streets had died down. The street immediately outside was in the restricted area, of course, but Lurtak's house was a few blocks further away. Kathryn and Harry were both cloaked, and Kathryn's hair was covered.

In the twilight, the trio hardly garnered more than a glance from most passers-by, who were intent on their own business. Kathryn was inclined to be optimistic. _It has been two years, and Gentarra Prime has an enormous amount of interstellar trade. Nobody will look twice at us._

"I'm sure you are both tired," Lurtak said, as he keyed in the code that unlocked his front door. "Kilata, my wife, has a meal prepared, if you feel like eating."

Both Kathryn and Harry turned slightly pale at the unwelcome thought of food.

"If you don't mind, Lurtak, we'll just go on to bed. We've had a long day, with a lot to process, and we don't feel well."

Lurtak nodded in sympathy. "I understand." He led them down a corridor, and around a corner. "The guest suite is just through here." He showed them a set of rooms, with a sleeping area, a common area, and a bathroom. "Please ring if you need anything." He gestured to a small keypad near the door, and silently left the room.

"Ring for whom?" Harry said, examining the pad with his eyebrows raised.

"The head of the most top-secret scientific project on Gentarra Prime is probably well-paid. He probably has a staff," Kathryn said, tiredly. The tone in her voice drew Harry's attention to her.

"You look terrible," he said, without thinking, and winced when Kathryn closed her eyes and chuckled.

"Thanks."

Harry opened his mouth to clarify, but then made a gesture waving his explanation away, as if to say _what's the point?_

"Here, lie down," he helped her over to the bed, and pulled back the coverlet. As he gently took her shoes off, he asked, "Is it the Travel Sickness?"

Kathryn nodded, "Mmmmm. That… and too much…too much happened today. It happened so .. _fast._"

"We barely got to say good-bye to Prastin and Kariva and Rasila," Harry agreed reflectively.

"We didn't get to see Prascor at all," Kathryn added.

"I'm sure Rianah was dancing in the streets when she found out we were gone," Harry teased.

"Why didn't she like me? I never figured that out, but it was immediate. I felt it in the Council Hall that first time."

"She probably disliked you because it meant she was no longer the most beautiful woman in the village." Harry smiled tenderly, and Kathryn's heart flipped. _Still_, she marveled.

She snuggled down into the mattress, and smiled. "I would say that flattery would get you everywhere, Mr. Kim, but not tonight. I'm too tired." Her eyes closed. "I still can't believe we're back."

"We didn't get to say good-bye to Hyral and Harana either," Harry observed, still thinking about Gentarra.

"Did I tell you she was going to have a baby?" Kathryn asked, her eyes opening again, her tone conveying interest.

"No, really?" Harry had genuine excitement for his friends in his voice. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday." Harry narrowed his eyes curiously.

"Hyral didn't mention it to me. We were at the forge all day yesterday."

"He probably didn't know. I ran into her at the… she had just found out," Kathryn blundered to a stop, and then finished hastily.

"Well, that's nice for them. I wish we could have seen the baby." Harry said, and got up to go around to the other side of the bed. He turned out the lights as he went, and crawled under the covers, snuggling up to Kathryn's side and planting a kiss near her ear.

There were a few seconds of silence. Kathryn felt her body beginning to relax.

"Where did you see Harana yesterday?" Harry's voice floated from the darkness, innocently.

Kathryn's spine tensed up. _Damn._

"At the medical building," she said slowly, as if the words had been forced from her.

"What were you doing there?" His voice was so innocent, _too innocent_. Kathryn's eyes narrowed in irritation.

"It sounds like you know good and damn well why I was there."

Harry sat up, and turned the light back on. His smile was brilliant.

"Are you really?" he asked, grinning like a child. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?" He leaned toward her, and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"I was trying to, today at the forge. Then Prastin… and we… It all happened so fast. And now, I'm not sure… having a baby here? Nobody knows us here. Or all alone out in space? I thought we would have a little more time." She leaned into the comforting solidity of his chest, and felt his warmth envelop her. She yawned.

"We'll be fine, Kathryn. Didn't you say that to me earlier?" He let his hand trail down to her stomach and linger there. "I can't believe it," he said with laughing wonder, half to himself.

Kathryn smiled sleepily, and laid her hand on top of his, lacing her fingers through his. "I love you," she murmured.

He dropped a kiss on top of her head. "I love you too."

* * *

"Do we have everything in place?" Chakotay asked Paris, as they strode quickly and purposefully down a corridor.

"The anti-grav equipment has been set up, and Ayala's got the pulleys in position," Paris replied in a business-like tone.

"Will the pulleys hold?"

"Tuvok has scanned and re-scanned them, sir. He's satisfied with them, but there's no way to know until we try. I guess there's never been a nacelle reattached quite like this." Tom shook his head, a disbelieving smile on his face.

"There are other ways I'd rather be in the record books," Chakotay said dryly. "How's the weather?"

"Clear and holding. Tuvok is finishing up with the evacuation now." Chakotay nodded somberly. They had decided to remove everyone from the ship, as well as the two shuttles and the Delta Flyer, just in case a disaster occurred. If the nacelle hit the ship, while they were trying to reattach it… well, it just didn't bear thinking about.

Chakotay slapped his commbadge with an open palm.

"Computer, how many lifesigns are currently aboard _Voyager_?"

"There are two human biosigns aboard _Voyager_," came the computer's flat emotionless voice.

"Good. That's it then," Chakotay said, as he and Tom strode in sync in the direction of the open airlock. "Let's go."

The crew of _Voyager_ stood in scattered clumps, at what was deemed a "safe distance" by the ship's First Officer. Large pulleys hung over the ship like giant carrion birds, with tritanium cable fastened around the nacelle at precise intervals. On the ground, at angles and distances determined by Seven of Nine's exact calculations, anti-grav panels were set up, to aid in the reattachment procedure.

The wind began to whip up. Chakotay glanced at the sky anxiously, but it was still clear, a faint blue tint to it, with the sickly white sun hanging like a bleary eye. The weather was clear, but _we may not have time in abundance_, he thought.

"Let's do it!" he commed Tuvok, who responded with a crisp

"Understood." He gestured to the crewmen operating the pulleys to pull the lines taut, and then signaled those on the ground responsible for the anti-grav devices.

There was a faint hum, as the equipment activated. Slowly, the nacelle crept upward, and began to move toward the drive section of the ship, swaying gently. A creaking was heard, as the pulleys realized the full weight of the nacelle. It rocked back and forth, closer and closer to the attachments.

There was a metallic _clang_ as the nacelle settled into position, and B'Elanna and Joe Carey floated into place on anti-grav carts, and began the final connections. The tritanium cabling was holding.

"Running nacelle realignment test level 1," B'Elanna's tense voice echoed over an open commlink.

A whooshing noise reached their ears, and blue light flashed, as the nacelle came to life briefly, and then deactivated.

Chakotay let out a breath that he had been unaware he was holding.

"B'Elanna to _Voyager," _came the engineer's tremulous voice, and it sounded like she might be half-laughing, half-crying. "Nacelle attachment is complete."

There was a moment of complete and utter silence….

…then, pandemonium. Whoops and cheers bounced off of the rolling hills that surrounded _Voyager_, as various crewmembers danced and embraced and shouted. Chakotay grinned from ear to ear, as B'Elanna jumped the final six feet off of her anti-grav cart, into her husband's arms.

The pilot picked her up, twirled her around twice, and then pulled her close to him for a long kiss.

The happy shouts of the crew seemed to fade away, and Chakotay's smile wavered on his face, as if he'd forgotten about it. He watched the embracing couple, and felt his heart being crushed again in a vise of loneliness and grief. _Kathryn…_ He would give almost anything just to see her again.

But then he pushed away the lingering wraith of his lost love, and forced himself to move down to the engineering team and congratulate them. There were many diagnostics and trials to conduct before deeming _Voyager _spaceworthy, but they had overcome one of their chief obstacles. It was a time to celebrate.

* * *

"Harry, she's beautiful!" There was awe in Kathryn's voice. "I can't believe she's ours!"

"She's ours!" Harry confirmed, beaming proudly. They stood in happy silence for a while, letting the significance of the moment wash over them.

"What are we going to call her?" Kathryn finally asked.

"Well, I was thinking…" Harry's voice trailed off, and he blushed, looking shy.

"What? You can tell me," his wife said softly.

"Well, I was thinking that since our … our dreams – the opportunity – of getting home have been.. well, resurrected, really… what if we called her the _Renaissance_?"

"The _Renaissance_." Kathryn let the word roll off of her tongue, as if she were testing it, and took a slow lap around the little ship, looking at it from all angles.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation ship _Renaissance_." She tried it out, and then stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to her. "Are we Federation? Maybe we should just say 'the Earth ship _Renaissance'_?"

"I think we should still use 'Federation'. If we run into anyone that's heard of _Voyager_, they could give us news about them."

"I guess that's true," Kathryn mused, now completely distracted.

"I guess that means you like the name," Harry teased, his arms snaking around her waist to clasp over her rounded abdomen.

"It fits her," she said, running one hand over the shiny silver hull. It was not a big ship, but was the biggest one they thought they could manage by themselves. Just comprised of three decks, it had a tiny bridge, engineering, mess hall, weapons bay, and 4 crew bunks, with a larger room that was obviously for the commanding officer of the ship. They were planning to make enhancements to the engines, weapons, and shielding, and hoped for a top speed of at least warp 8.

They had used a good supply of what money they had left over after the purchase of the ship to buy something similar to a cloaking device that was of somewhat dubious legality. Harry had been unsure, but Kathryn had talked him into it.

"Look, it's just us on this little ship. We have no allies and no back up. It's best if people pass us by without ever knowing we're around." He had finally conceded her point.

The remainder of their money went to medical supplies, odds and ends necessary for a miniature aeroponics bay, foodstuffs, and items that would be desirable for trade.

The odds against them would be enormous.

"Do you really think we have a chance?" Kathryn murmured, leaning against Harry, and looking at their new ship.

"I have to believe that, Kathryn," he rubbed one hand idly over her stomach, and felt a small kick in response. "For a small precious reason, I have to believe that we'll make it."

She looked into his dark eyes, and smiled at him crookedly.

"When will she be ready to fly?"

"As soon as you two are," Harry teased. "I was going to knock down the walls between the bunks, to make two larger rooms, instead of four. The captain's quarters are big enough for us, but not what you were used to. And we're going to need some kind of family space. Do you think the mess hall is big enough to do double duty?"

"I think so," Kathryn agreed, thinking of the laughter of small children resounding around the corridors of their little ship. "We'll only need one table."

"How was your visit with Retorran today?" Harry asked abruptly, as he had just remembered. Lurtak's assistant was actually a medical doctor, and Kathryn had been seeing him about the pregnancy. Retorran was extremely capable, even with some of the guesswork that came with an alien pregnancy, and was absolutely fascinated by the differences between Gentarran and human reproduction.

"It was fine. He says it looks like I have about two more weeks."

Harry buried his face in her neck and breathed in her scent. He still had trouble believing his good fortune. He had trouble believing that he thought his fortune had been 'good', having been left behind by his crewmates, stranded on an alien world, in another dimension…

"I wouldn't want to be any other place in the universe, but with you, right here, right now," he murmured.

Kathryn knew the direction his thoughts had wandered; it was a well-worn path for both of them. She let her body relax against his.

"Neither would I," she said huskily.

* * *

Three weeks after the emotional high of the nacelle reattachment being successful, frustration was running rampant on _Voyager_. B'Elanna was tyrannizing the entire crew, conducting endless tests and diagnostics. Tuvok was holding detailed security drills in between times, stating placidly that _Voyager_'s two-plus years in drydock could not have been helpful for the reflexes and reaction time of the crew.

Lieutenant Paris and Ensign McKay had been working together non-stop on various flight simulations, with Ayala joining them frequently for tactical maneuvers.

Chakotay tried to hide in the ready room, hoping no one would come after him with stones. He was drowning in reports, as all departments feverishly tried to prepare for the return to space.

He could really understand their near-frenzy. It had been two long years of hard and tedious work. They could see the light at the end of the tunnel now, and it was almost too much to bear.

Even so, it took him by surprise when B'Elanna approached him in the ready room during late Beta shift.

"Am I interrupting?" she asked softly. He gestured to the disorderly piles of PADDs on his desk with a wry smile.

"It would be welcome. I don't know how many more astrometrics reports I can read, and still hold on to my sanity."

"Seven is very… thorough," B'Elanna said diplomatically, and Chakotay laughed, more at the way she spoke that at what she said.

"So, how's it going?" Her captain asked casually. B'Elanna took a deep breath, with her lips pressed together, and then smiled.

"Better than expected. She's passed all her diagnostics with flying colors." She paused a moment to let the import of her news sink in. "I think we're ready for an orbit… maybe even a run around the sun and back, later."

Chakotay drew in his breath sharply. It was almost too much to take. The prize… it was dangling there in front of his fingers, and all he had to do was reach out…

"When can we leave?" was the short breathless question he asked.

"If everything goes well, I figure we can break orbit permanently within a month or two."

Chakotay's eyes slid shut, and B'Elanna wondered if he was thanking the spirits. In truth, he was thinking of Kathryn.

We did it. I promised you we would, and we did. I'm going to get them home, Kathryn. I swear it, by all my ancestors held holy.

"Does everyone know?" he asked, looking back at his chief engineer.

"No," she said simply. "I wanted to tell you first. You've had it harder than anyone."

He must have looked at her quizzically, because she continued.

"You lost the one," she said with a half-shrug, hoping she wasn't out of line. "You lost your _one_, and had to take her place, and didn't even feel free to tell anyone of your feelings for her." Chakotay stared at her, sorrow mirrored in his dark eyes, but he did not speak. "Am I right?"

Chakotay chuckled then, and it had a note of bitterness in it.

"Maybe I should give you the ship's counselor position."

"Kahless, _no!_" B'Elanna declared. "I can't imagine sitting around all day, listening to other people whine, and …" She realized what she was saying and stopped. "Sorry."

Chakotay grinned, and the mirth was more genuine now.

"No apologies necessary, B'Ela."

"_You_ can come whine to me any time you want. You know that?" Her last sentence was more of a question.

"Consider the offer reciprocated," was Chakotay's answer. "Do you want to make a shipwide announcement?"

"Oh, I was going to let you do that."

"No, I think you should do it. You've worked harder than anyone else on this ship, by far."

She smiled crookedly, and for a moment, reminded Chakotay so much of Kathryn that it was nearly physically painful. "Thanks."

A few moments after she had exited the ready room, he heard the dulcet whistle of the shipwide hail.

"Lieutenant Torres to _Voyager…_"

* * *

Kathryn Janeway shifted uncomfortably on the bed. The two weeks Retorran estimated had stretched into more than three. Harry had finished the adjustments to the _Renaissance_ four days ago. And still there was no sign of the new arrival that everyone was so eagerly awaiting.

She groaned at the ache in her back, and tried to heave herself over from her right side to her left.

"You okay?" Harry's voice was heavy with sleep.

"I can't get comfortable," she grunted, as she finally rolled over. "It feels like I'm never going to have this baby."

"It can't be too much longer," Harry offered helpfully.

"Really? Well, thank you for that," she said sarcastically. Then, in a more civil tone, "How is the ship?"

"She's fine. Ready to go."

"Me too." Kathryn sighed. There was a silence, and Harry thought she had fallen asleep, but he heard her let out a long, slow breath.

"Kathryn? You okay?" he asked again.

"I think I just had a contraction." Her tone was detached and curious, as if she were a scientist examining a phenomenon happening to someone else.

"Should I call Retorran?" Harry's voice sounded anxious.

"No, it could be hours. Hell, it'll probably be _days_," she said grumpily.

A frenzied banging on their door brought them both upright in bed.

"Harry! Kathryn!" came Lurtak's urgent voice. "Wake up!" Dim light filtered into the room, as he opened the door.

"What's going on?" Kathryn asked, her voice low and efficient.

"I told you that the lab was examined by government agents this morning?" Lurtak said hastily. "Well, that's a bit unusual, but nothing new. Get dressed!" he interjected. "Kilata told me she saw strangers loitering around the house earlier today, as well. Someone's found out about you. A friend in the government just called me. They're on their way. You've got to leave. Now."

Harry and Kathryn had been throwing on clothes, and Kathryn was quickly putting on her shoes. She grimaced in pain, and sat down on the edge of the bed, waving off both Harry and Lurtak.

"I'm okay," she said at length, breathing a little more heavily than normal.

"Was that another one?" Harry asked darkly.

She nodded, by way of response.

"That wasn't even five minutes."

Another nod.

"If I can get you to your ship, I think you can get away. They have not spread the news of your presence here. I assume they are hoping to catch you unawares," Lurtak persisted.

"We can't go anywhere _now_!" Harry burst out inelegantly. "Kathryn's going into labor."

"Don't talk about me in the third person when I'm right here," Kathryn said in a warning tone.

There was a faint ruckus in the street, which escalated in volume. There were muffled shouts and frantic footfalls.

Kathryn and Harry looked at each other in alarm.

"We have medical equipment on board the ship," she said quickly. "I think I can make it that far."

"And what if something goes wrong?" Harry looked stricken.

"Retorran said I was fine. We can do this," her voice was confident; Harry looked far less certain.

"We really must go!" Lurtak said forcefully. "Out the back." He stood aside to let Harry and Kathryn pass. Kathryn paused for a moment, and appeared to be waiting for something. Her eyes closed, then she straightened slightly and nodded.

"Let's go."

They slipped out the back door of Lurtak's home, and headed for a back gate that opened into a isolated alley.

"You know the way," Lurtak said. It was a statement, not a question. Harry nodded. This was the route he used to get to the _Renaissance_ in the docking bay, and was very seldom frequented by others. "Here," he handed Harry a small chip. "This is one of my clearance codes. It should buy you enough time to break orbit and go to light speed."

"Will it get you in trouble?" Kathryn asked worriedly.

"Don't worry about me," Lurtak brushed aside her concern. "I'm far too valuable to kill. But go! Swiftly!"

Kathryn captured him in a brief, hard hug, and said only, "Thank you." Lurtak nodded, smiling slightly.

Hand in hand, Kathryn and Harry hurried toward their hope of home.

TBC 

**Next: Across Eternity**

**Please review. It keeps me going! I hope this update was a little more timely!**


	6. Across Eternity

**Disclaimer:** Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground

**Across Eternity**

"Mmmmmff," Tom Paris woke slowly from a sound sleep to a persistent poking sensation in his ribs.

"Tom, are you awake?" came the whispered voice of his wife.

"I am now." He sounded petulant. "And why are you whispering? I'm the only one in here, and you're trying to wake me up."

"Quit being an ass," B'Elanna's voice was louder now. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away," Tom said theatrically.

"When are we going to tell people?"

"About what?"

"You know about what. About the baby."

"B'Ela, it was your idea to not tell anybody. We can start buttonholing people in the corridors any time you want." He yawned over the last half of his statement.

"Well, I didn't want to because I was worried."

"About the baby?" Tom's tone had gotten more serious, and he reached over in the darkness to clasp her hand. "The doc says everything is fine. _She's_ fine." B'Elanna heard the smile in his voice.

"I'm worried about Chakotay."

"What's wrong with Chakotay?"

"I don't know how he'll feel about the baby."

"Why does he get an opinion? It's not like _he's_ the father or anything," Tom cracked, and got an elbow in his chest for his trouble. "Ow! Damn, B'Elanna!"

"Tom, can you be serious for one damn minute! _I'm_ serious!" She waited a moment for a murmured apology, and continued speaking once she got it. "He's still so… sad. And I think he thinks nobody notices how much he misses her." She paused for a moment, contemplative. "Anyway, I just think this will make it worse."

Tom was silent for a moment, and then gathered her into his arms.

"B'Elanna, what happened to Harry and the captain was a tragedy, no question. But you can't hold back life forever. We can't keep this a secret forever. And if Chakotay found out from someone besides _you_, or if he found out that you were keeping it a secret because you felt sorry for him… I think that would be worse."

B'Elanna sighed. "I guess you're right. He just… he seems like he's on the outside looking in, and it seems so wrong…"

"That's always what Captain Janeway did. Held herself apart, thought it was better for the crew. Maybe he's just honoring her memory, by living out her example."

"I can't imagine him being alone for the rest of our journey," B'Elanna said softly.

"Nah, Chakotay won't make it! You just wait until we get to a spaceport with a blonde in it," Tom chortled. He kissed her hair, suddenly serious. "We'll start telling people tomorrow, okay?"

She kissed him back. "Thanks for listening."

"What can I say? I was a captive audience." He laughed, but the sound trailed off into kind of a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking, of who I wanted to tell first and - "

"Harry?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Harry reached out his hand to help her up the ramp leading into the ship. She was breathing heavily.

He glanced behind him anxiously, but there was no sound of pursuit.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," she panted. "Why do we have to keep leaving places this way?"

"How many contractions did you have on the way over here?"

"Just two," she said. Harry began to close the gangway. "Unless you count this one too."

"Why don't you get in the bed? I'll get us out of here."

"There's no way in hell I'm missing her maiden voyage… dear." She tacked on the endearment like an afterthought. Harry looked at her dourly, then, muttering something about "other maiden voyages that would happen right on the bridge deck, if she wasn't careful", he led her to the access tube to the bridge. There were no 'lifts on the ship. She climbed carefully, with Harry watchful behind her.

"Sit down, please!" Harry's voice was testy, as he leapt toward the helm when they arrived on the bridge of the _Renaissance_.

Kathryn raised one eyebrow at his temerity on her bridge, but let it pass, as she realized that traditional captain/crew roles would not work here. She sat in the captain's chair in the center of the small bridge, which also had a tactical console in front of it.

"Inputting the clearance code now," Harry said, his fingers moving rapidly over the helm. Something on the console turned green and chimed. "We're clear. Engaging engines."

There was a whir and a soft rumble as the _Renaissance_ came to life, and began to rise slowly.

"Here we go," Kathryn murmured softly, exchanging a meaningful look with her husband. An alarm began to blare. "We're taking weapons fire! I'm putting it on screen," she said.

The viewer showed a small contingent of Gentarran police firing on their ship from the ground.

"Hand weapons won't touch her," Harry said confidently.

"Somebody's found out we're leaving." Kathryn was studying the tactical readouts carefully. Then, a realization dawned. "Harry, they're going to engage the security grid! Go, go, go!"

Harry pushed it to full throttle, and they were pressed back in their seats, as the inertial dampers struggled to compensate. The _Renaissance_ shuddered and vibrated, encountered resistance, but tore through it. On the opposite side of the bridge, one station sparked and exploded.

"We must have gone through the grid at the exact time it went up. The power surge blew out the engineering station." Harry went over to assess the damage.

"How is it?"

"Fried relay," Harry responded. "Nothing that can't be fixed later. Can you patch engineering controls over to tactical?" He stopped suddenly, and looked at her, as if just remembering what was going on. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. What was I – you should be in bed… or something."

"I'm okay. I'll just sit here, while you get us somewhere safe." Her console chirped and became more brightly lit, as she shifted the control to tactical. She winced, shifted in her seat, and then added, "I wouldn't take too long." Her eyes widened as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Do we have appropriate medical supplies on board? We thought the birth would occur on Gentarra Prime."

"We have supplies…or the replicator patterns needed to create them. I thought… in case there were other children…" he trailed off.

"I don't even want to think about that right now," Kathryn rolled her eyes, and groaned with another contraction.

"Where is a nice obscure nebula when you need one?" Harry muttered under his breath, conducting rapid sensor scans.

"Do you think they'll come after us?"

"If they're as secretive as Lurtak says, I think there could be pursuit," Harry said honestly.

"_Is_ there a nebula?" Kathryn asked hopefully. "Or an asteroid field? Something that would take a while to scan?"

"At least they didn't see us. If they don't know you're pregnant and about to have a child, then they'll just think we got the hell out of Dodge, not that we stopped somewhere near by."

"What about another spaceport? Somewhere crowded, where we can hide in a docking bay?" Kathryn asked.

Harry shook his head dubiously. "I don't know. We'd probably have to register or ask permission to land there, like Gentarra Prime, and I don't like the idea of doing that when we're not very far away." He pored over his console for a moment, and then his face lit up hopefully. "Hey, a gas giant in the next system has over 2 dozen moons, only a few of them large enough to be worth charting. That could work."

He glanced at Kathryn when no affirmation was forthcoming, and saw that her lips were pressed tightly together. She was pale, but nodded at him.

"That was a long one," she said at length. Harry turned quickly back to his work.

"Setting in a course."

"Best… possible…speed, Mr. Kim."

* * *

Tuvok was grinning widely.

Well, he really wasn't, but to Chakotay, who glanced at him from the adjacent captain's chair, he was exuding satisfaction to a degree where he may as well have been smiling.

"Are we ready to break orbit, Commander?" Chakotay asked, trying not to get lost in the significance of the words. After nearly two years planetside, _Voyager _had been put back together, and was ready to continue the journey homeward.

"All departments have reported their readiness, Captain," his executive officer responded, tapping the console in the arm of his chair.

"Chakotay to Engineering. Are we ready, B'Elanna?"

"The engines are running at optimum. They were perfect on our run around the sun yesterday. We don't anticipate any problems."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows, as he glanced around at his bridge crew. Ayala stood stalwartly at tactical, his eyes looking straight ahead to the viewscreen. The only indication of his excitement was a repetitive flexing and extending of the fingers on his left hand. Ensign McKay was shifting her weight from foot to foot, and smiled at him giddily when he looked back at her.

She blushed, as she apparently realized that she was grinning at her captain like a fool, and returned her attention to her control panel. Chakotay couldn't help but smile in response.

"You ready to flex your muscles, Mr. Paris?" he asked.

"Just say the word, Captain," Tom's smile was jubilant, and Chakotay could hear it in his voice. _And why wouldn't it be? _Chakotay thought mistily. _Resuming the course for home, new baby on the way._ He still couldn't believe that one, but was happy for his friends. Part of him couldn't help but be almost envious of their familial bond. _Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn, you should be here!_

"Take her out. Resume course for the Alpha quadrant, taking care to avoid Fylari space." The injustice of that encounter still caused Chakotay ire.

"Duly noted, sir. Course and speed laid in."

"Engage," he said, and settled back in the chair. _Voyager_'s engines accelerated smoothly, as she went to warp.

* * *

There was a keening cry of pain that coincided with the touchdown of the _Renaissance _on the seventh moon of the gas giant to which Harry had been referring. Harry turned on the sensor security net, that would alert them to anyone entering orbit, and made sure that the cloaking device was still performing without glitches. This was done in approximately 10 seconds, and then he ran to the access tube, and slid down the ladder, using the vertical bars rather than the rungs.

Kathryn was in bed, where she had finally conceded to go,sweaty and ashen, breathing heavily, and hunched over her protruding stomach.

"Hey," she greeted him somewhat incongruously, and with difficulty, when he flew into the room. "This.. really…hurts."

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked tenderly.

"Because you would have come down here. And then who would have flown the ship?"

"There are reasons why we installed that advanced autopiloting system and the security net… so someone wouldn't always have to be on the bridge." He reached for a medical tricorder and a hypospray. "Do you want something?" He gestured toward her with the hypospray.

"Do you really have to ask?"

He injected her, while the medical tricorder was scanning, and watched some of the pale, pinched look dissipate from her face. "You should have let me know," he chided softly. "Looks like you're ready. Have you been wanting to push?"

She nodded. "The contractions are coming on top of each other." She glanced at him suspiciously. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

He rolled his eyes at her slang. "I've been reading up on it. And I've had the Basic Starfleet Training. What kind of good would it do if I 'freaked out'? Do you feel better now?"

"Much," she nodded. The anesthetic had done its job. "You've got quite a bedside manner, Mr. Kim."

Approximately 40 minutes later, an exhausted Kathryn Janeway pushed one final time, as a slippery baby girl slid into the arms of her father. When Kathryn heard the thready wail of the newborn, she allowed herself to relax.

"Oh – oh God, oh Kathryn…she's gorgeous," Harry's voice and hands trembled, as he reached out to touch the baby's petal-soft cheek.

After the new arrival had been cleaned and scanned, she was placed gently in the arms of her mother. She had a full head of smooth black hair, and eyes so dark that the pupils could not be seen. Her brow was furrowed, as if she was not happy at being so unceremoniously removed from her safe, dark, warm world.

Harry plugged the tricorder into a port, to download the data into the ship's computer. "She's fine, perfectly healthy," he reported. "Seven pounds even." Then he went to Kathryn's bedside to join in adoration of the tiny human that was part of both of them.

Tears had created a film in Kathryn's eyes, so that she could only see her daughter through a blur. She laughed, when she blinked to clear them and they spilled down her cheeks.

"What are we going to call her?" she asked in a choked voice, as she counted fingers and toes. "You seem to have an affinity for this kind of thing." They had discussed names in a general way, but had decided to wait and meet their daughter before naming her.

"I was thinking," Harry began in the same shy way that he named the ship, and Kathryn laughed. He shot her a look, but continued, "What about Allanora?"

She looked at him, with a smile flitting at the corners of her mouth. "That's Gentarran for…"

"Hope," they said in unison.

"That's beautiful…_perfect_. Allanora Elizabeth Kim." She directed the name at the baby, but slanted a sideways glance at Harry. Now it was his turn to look touched. He nodded and smiled, after a moment of contemplative silence, thinking fondly of his once-upon-a-time love.

"That's… really nice. She would like that."

* * *

Ensign Elizabeth McKay couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was the distraction of watching the stars streak past her window in fluid lines. Perhaps it was that she had become unaccustomed to the soft, barely perceptible hum of the warp engines. She was restless.

After fighting it for nearly an hour, she gave up and dressed casually in a soft pink track suit. She brushed her long blond hair out of her face, but left it out of its usual braid.

"Maybe Neelix has some of that Rekellian chocolate swirl left," she said aloud, and then rolled her eyes at herself. She talked to herself often, and it had garnered her some odd looks in the past. She headed for the mess hall. It was 0230.

The mess hall was dimly lit, and Elizabeth saw with delight that someone had coffee on.

"Probably for Gamma shift," she murmured, and went around behind the counter to poke inside the refrigeration unit. "There is some left!" She put the container on the counter that Neelix normally stood behind, and went to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"I hope I can get to sleep after this. I don't want to be a mess on the bridge tomorrow," she said, as she poured the steaming black liquid.

"Drinking coffee is probably not the best way to get to sleep," rumbled a voice from behind her.

Elizabeth jumped at the unexpected sound of a voice behind her, and knocked her coffee cup off of the table, where it shattered. She barely noticed this, since she had also spilled coffee all over her outstretched arm.

The searing pain of it brought involuntary tears to her eyes. It was then that she realized that coffee and shards of ceramic were everywhere.

"Ensign McKay, are you all right?" She looked up into the tear-blurred features of her Captain, and writhed inwardly with embarrassment.

"Look what I've done!" she said with chagrin, reaching for a dishtowel behind Neelix's counter. "You startled me." There was a slight note of reproach in her voice, as she started trying to mop up the coffee.

"Ensign, leave that alone!" His voice was sharp with concern. "Let me see your hand."

She held out her injured hand, and he held it loosely across his palm, while he examined it. A red weal was already swelling across the back of her hand and three of her fingers. Her sleeve was splashed liberally with coffee. He took the dishtowel from her, and dabbed gently, trying to remove the scalding liquid from contact with her skin.

"The doctor needs to look at this. Can you make it to sickbay?" Ensign McKay nodded. "Then I'll clean this up."

"Oh, but sir – " Elizabeth was mortified. She had come prancing into the mess hall in the middle of the night, _talking to herself_, and when the Captain had just come up and _spoken_ to her, she had jumped, broken things, spilled things, _and_ burned herself. _I am such an idiot!_

"Don't argue with me, Ensign." His tone was stern, but his dark eyes twinkled at her.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." She didn't meet his eyes again, but walked across the mess hall to the exit, more breathless from his gaze than from the pain in her hand, which was now beginning to throb.

As Chakotay picked up the fragments of ceramic, he found his thoughts drifting back to Ensign McKay. She had been embarrassed, he could tell. And nervous around him. _Is this what it was always like for Kathryn? _He wondered. _Never able to tell if someone was being real, or if they were afraid of her title?_

Her long, blond hair had been in loose waves down her back, he realized, mopping up the coffee with the discarded dishtowel. She usually wore it in a braid. And the way her cheeks had flushed…_you're a fool, Chakotay… and lecherous and old besides that_, he berated himself._ What is she, 30? And, if that weren't enough, she's an ensign under your command._

He wrung out the sodden dishtowel over the sink, and then threw it in the recycler.

_Wasting all that coffee, _he thought with a grin, turning his thoughts toward the one person that managed to comfort him and bring him pain, all at the same time. _Kathryn would have been furious._

* * *

After spending the remainder of that day and the night on the seventh moon of the gas giant, Harry decided it was time to go. _The further we are from Gentarra Prime, the better._

He was adamant in his refusal to allow Kathryn on the bridge for at least another day.

"I'm all right, Harry. You made that sling to fit over the chair at the science station so Alli could sit up there with us."

"Kathryn, you just had a baby. You don't need to be climbing up an access shaft!"

"I am perfectly capable of deciding what I am and am not able to do!"

Harry sat down beside her on the edge of the bed, and took both of her hands in his.

"Kathryn, you're the captain. I certainly can't tell you what to do. But I'm asking you to stay down here and give yourself a little more time to recover. You know that the Doctor would not have let you back on the bridge the day after you had a baby." She opened her mouth to protest, but he covered her lips with one open hand. "Don't do this for yourself. Do it for me. Please." His voice was gentle, and she felt the fight draining out of her. He was just looking out for their well-being.

"Fine," she said, somewhat grudgingly, but smiled. He kissed her gently and lingeringly, and smoothed one hand over her red-gold hair.

"Thank you," he said simply. "And look, I have a surprise for you." He went over to a wall next to her side of the bed, and pulled on the panel. It folded down like a desk, and a small array of consoles and monitors greeted her. "Bridge controls," he said cheerfully. "We could even patch command control down here, if we ever needed to. But this way you can keep apprised of what's going on."

"Thank you," she returned, sincerely. He really had thought of every contingency when rebuilding the interior of their ship. When she had seen the tiny infant restraint that he had designed, so that Alli could be on the bridge with them, she had nearly cried.

Harry was leaning over the crib, breathing in the sweet baby scent of his sleeping daughter.

"Rest. And let me know if you need anything?" It was a question not a statement, and Kathryn nodded in response.

"I promise."

* * *

Chakotay was halfway to sickbay before he realized where he was going, and immediately began mentally berating himself.

_What? It's perfectly natural for a captain to make sure an injured crewmember is okay._

**_Yes, a captain_ _checking on a crewmember. See that you remember that._**

_There are dozens of people on board more suited to her age anyway._

**_It does not serve you well that you even allow your thoughts to move in those directions._**

_I'm sure she wouldn't be interested. Besides, she's not Kathryn… _

**_No, she's not. And you would do well to remember how Kathryn handled the crew… and why she wouldn't get involved with you._**

_Even though she loved me._

**_Did she? She never said anything to make you think that._**

_No, but I could tell._

**_Imagining things! The futile efforts of a lonely man._**

_I am lonely! And Kathryn did love me. It was unspoken, but very strong. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before. And maybe even stronger than death…._

**_Being a little melodramatic, aren't you? The tragic, lonely captain, forever mourning the one he lost?_**

Chakotay shook himself out of his reverie, when his inner argument turned cruel. It was like prodding a wound, bringing nothing but pain, but irresistible nevertheless.

He did not go to sickbay to check on Ensign McKay.

* * *

The _Renaissance _had managed to put quite a bit of distance between her tiny crew and Gentarra Prime, when Kathryn and Harry decided to stop for some supplies and much needed R R.

Alli was sitting in her seat, entranced by her own waving fists. Harry gestured toward her, arguing that perhaps she was too little to venture down on some alien planet.

"We wouldn't go down to the surface if it was unsafe," Kathryn responded quickly. "She's almost 4 months old, and has never even been on a planet. Wouldn't you want to breathe fresh air and feel sunshine on your skin?"

"You two are going to constantly gang up on me, aren't you?" Harry said, conceding to Kathryn's suggestion with a mock glower.

"Well, of course we are, aren't we?" Kathryn spoke to her baby girl, who waved one fist happily and cooed.

It took Harry another two weeks to find a suitable center for trade and tourism, and it was only a short detour from their course heading for home. The planet was Sikarion, and was well-known for a friendly and safe atmosphere, according to reports in the Gentarran database, although it appeared that few Gentarrans regularly ventured that far away from their home planet.

Sikarion had a docking bay in orbit for smaller spacecraft, and a large transporter system that beamed the new arrivals down to the surface, if the ship did not have one of its own. After Harry secured the _Renaissance_, they waited patiently in the queue for transport to the surface.

"We should have just beamed down ourselves," Harry grumbled, looking at the long line.

"The docking bay is safer than just leaving the _Renaissance _in orbit. Besides, this way, we don't have to use our energy to transport down," Kathryn said, logically.

After they arrived on the surface, they took some of the items they had for trade to an appraisal booth. They were then given Sikari currency in exchange.

Strolling through the bustling Sikari marketplace, Kathryn and Harry both had uncomfortable reminders of the Gentarran tradestalls on that day that seemed so long ago. She moved closer to him, and he clasped her free hand. Her other hand was resting softly on Alli's back, as she slept in the sling, cradled next to her mother's heart.

"What are the chances that this planet has a door to another dimension too?" Harry cracked, in a loud whisper. Kathryn grinned.

"Please don't tempt the Fates, Harry. I've already had enough 'what are the chances' moments in the last decade to last me the rest of my life."

"Hell, we've had enough of those moments in the last _year_ alone!" Harry responded. "As if the alternate universe weren't enough, you even _married _your Operations officer. And while you were probably irresistibly swept off of your feet by his dashing looks and charm, I don't think Starfleet would approve, do you?"

"You flatter yourself, Ensign," Kathryn said with a laugh. "This entire chapter has convinced me that there is no point in making plans for your life. Because when you do, you - " she broke off suddenly, looking at a point just over Harry's shoulder. "Oh my God," she breathed.

Harry turned, not really sure what he was expecting to see, but it was not a nondescript stall with an oily looking salesman standing at the counter.

"Kathryn, it's just a - "

"No! Look at what he's selling!" Kathryn's voice had still not risen above a whisper. Harry made himself focus on what the man was holding and what he was saying about the items being hawked.

"Image disks! Image disks for sale! See cultures of a thousand worlds from all over the galaxy. What do other worlds consider entertainment? Find out when you watch…" the saleman's voice droned on, but Harry stopped listening, as he focused on the data module in the Sikari's hand.

The Federation logo.

"_Voyager_'s been here!" Harry realized suddenly, making his way quickly across to the stall in question. "Where did you get those?" he asked the salesman without preamble.

"I bought them from the Government Appraisal Department. It was perfectly legal," the Sikari huffed.

"Why have they not sold? Haven't you had them for about two years?"

"No," the salesman drawled, looking at them oddly. "I just got them in a week or so ago."

"How long is the turnaround in the Appraisal Department?" Harry asked with disbelief.

"Why would the Appraisers sit on merchandise? They get it out on the streets within 2 business days. People want to make money." He looked at the disk in disgust. "The disks usually sell quickly, but nobody has ever heard of 'Earth'. I've had these for almost a week now. But the Charelian holo-plays," he leered for a moment, "..now those are hot sellers." He gestured toward a small monitor sitting on the corner of the counter. "You're welcome to look at a sample disk."

Kathryn and Harry exchanged glances, afraid to think about what this could mean. Kathryn tossed her braid back over one shoulder.

"How much do you want for all of them – all of the ones with that logo?" Kathryn asked, trying not to sound breathless.

He named an outrageous sum, which Kathryn refused. After a little bit of haggling, an agreement was reached. Kathryn suspected that the salesman had cheated her anyway, because he looked entirely too satisfied with himself. He must have been feeling expansive after his profit, because, as he was tying up their purchases, he offered,

"Other people like you were here not too long ago. I remember seeing 'em… red and black, yellow and black uniforms. Badges like that…" he gestured toward Kathryn's commbadge, which had become visible when Kathryn pushed her braid back over her shoulder.

"When? When were they here?" Harry was gripping the countertop so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"Well, it was fairly recent." His tone was uncertain. "I can't be sure."

Kathryn fixed him with a steely glare, and slid two of the larger coins across the counter to him. He smiled, not very pleasantly.

"Yes, I remember now. It was 8 days ago… because I saw them the same day that H'ikre's booth caught on fire. There was such a commotion that day, that I - " but Kathryn and Harry had lost interest, and were threading their way through other patrons wordlessly.

"What in the hell happened?" Kathryn said, looking dazed. "Can we really be only a week behind them?"

"It's not possible," Harry said slowly. He appeared as if he had sustained one too many blows from a blunt object. "He's got to be mistaken."

They continued meandering through the marketplace, occasionally making a purchase, but mostly asking about the mysterious strangers from the "other side of the universe". Some people did not remember them at all, but the merchants who did all remembered the fire occurring the same day.

Alli woke up fussing, and Kathryn slunk off to a quiet spot to feed her, while Harry got them some lunch from a nearby food stand.

When he returned, he was visibly shaken. Alarm flared through Kathryn, causing her to straighten up suddenly, disturbing Alli, who began to wail.

"Harry, what's wrong?" she asked urgently, bouncing Alli gently to soothe the annoyed infant.

"Nothing, nothing," he insisted. "I asked the vendor about _Voyager_, while I was ordering, and he - " Harry took a deep breath. "He described Chakotay. I didn't say anything about the crew, just mentioned the communicator, and he talked about a tall dark man in a red and black uniform, with strange markings on his face."

"Let's go!" Kathryn jumped up, excitement apparent in every feature. "We can't lose another minute, if we're going to try to catch them. Will the warp trail have disintegrated by now?"

"It would probably be pretty hard to trace back home," Harry answered slowly. "But out here, a Federation signature is going to be pretty unique. We can't match their top speed though; they may just outrun us."

"Chakotay wouldn't tax the engines like that unless they're being pursued," Kathryn responded, with absolute certainty. "If we can find them, we can catch them." She hurried in the general direction of the transporter, with Harry following behind, a worried look on his face.

_If we do achieve the impossible and reunite with _Voyager_, what will that mean for us?_

* * *

_Voyager_ was cruising along at warp 6, traveling as effortlessly and unhindered as it had been since the day they returned to space. Chakotay often thought that the spirits must have felt sorry for them, after all they had had to endure thus far.

There was a noise from a console somewhere behind him.

"Captain?" Ensign McKay said. Chakotay felt himself repress a smile at the sound of Elizabeth's voice. "We're being hailed."

**TBC**

**Next chapter: Reunion**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews! It is greatly appreciated, and inspires me to create!**


	7. The Reunion

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.

**The Reunion**

_He had battled with himself for weeks, over his growing attraction to Ensign McKay. It had been uncomfortable, unwelcome, and unwanted. He didn't understand how he could miss Kathryn so much that it hurt, and yet get lost thinking about Elizabeth's clear green eyes or the way she blushed when she met his gaze._

_When he finally asked her over for dinner in his quarters, she had looked down at her feet for a long moment, and he had agonized that she was groping for the nicest way to turn him down. She finally looked up at him, and murmured a soft affirmative. She had looked so beautiful and inviting that he had kissed her right then, feeling like a twelve year old._

_They had since gone out several times, taking the utmost care to keep their dates a complete secret. Chakotay didn't want other people to know until they figured out exactly where this was going. And he wasn't sure exactly where this was going._

_It disturbed him greatly that he had continued to see Kathryn in his dreams, always beautiful and ethereal, and he would awaken with the heaviest sense of longing and despair and regret… like he had just missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, one that would never be available again._

"Captain, we're being hailed," Ensign McKay repeated, and Chakotay started out of his reverie, realizing that he had not responded.

"Who's hailing us?" he asked, furrowing his brow. "Have sensors reported any ships in our vicinity?"

"Negative," Ayala answered. "They just… appeared on my last scan, pacing us at Warp 7."

"They're hailing us again," Elizabeth interjected.

"What is the status of their weapons?" Chakotay asked.

"Weapons are not powered up.Their armaments are extensive for a ship that size, but still no match for _Voyager. _Their shields are up, and they have very extensive security systems." Ayala paused, then said with some surprise. "They have a cloaking device." Chakotay digested this for a moment.

"That answers why we didn't know they were there until now. They haven't done anything to us yet," he said, finally. "Open a channel."

There was an obliging chirp as Ensign McKay pressed the appropriate keypads.

"This is Captain Chakotay of the Federation starship Voyager. How can we be of assistance?"

There was silence from the other end of an unmistakably open commlink.

"This is Captain Ch – " Chakotay began again, his voice rising in timbre, but he was interrupted. The voice sounded strangely hollow, almost as if the person speaking were in shock.

"This – this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Renaissance. Request – request permission to come aboard."

A wave of alarm rippled across the bridge.

"What the hell?" Chakotay said harshly under his breath. He jerked his chin toward Ensign McKay's station. "Put it on screen."

Kathryn Janeway appeared on the viewer, looking much as she had the last day they saw her, except for longer hair partially pulled back from her face. When she saw them, her face broke into a radiant smile.

"It is so good to see you!"

Chakotay felt like he had been punched in the gut. And he was pretty sure that he had opened and closed his mouth several times, without saying anything.

Kathryn's eyes darted back and forth, as she glanced at different bridge crew members, who were all in various states of something that resembled catatonia.

"You do understand our… surprise," Tuvok finally said, rising from his chair, and moving to stand near Chakotay in the middle of the bridge floor. "We were informed by the authorities on Gentarra Prime that Kathryn Janeway and Harry Kim were dead."

"The Chancellor of Gentarra Prime has his own agenda. We did not fit into those plans." Kathryn's voice had become colder. It was clear that she did not think highly of the Chancellor.

_On that, we're agreed_, Chakotay thought emphatically. The corner of Kathryn's mouth turned up in her trademark crooked smile. Chakotay felt his heartbeat accelerate, until it seemed to be slamming against the confinements of his ribcage.

"I didn't like him either," she said. Chakotay did a double take, amazed that she could still practically read his thoughts.

"We?" Tom queried, picking up on something that Chakotay hadn't noticed up until that point.

"Oh!" Kathryn said. "Harry's with me too. We're both fine." Harry leaned into the frame then, looking largely unchanged. His hair was long, and pulled back into a low ponytail. Tom also noticed enviously that he had obviously been working out.

"You guys are a sight for sore eyes!" Harry exclaimed, grinning hugely, as if he couldn't help himself.

"If Chancellor Yegran lied to us, which doesn't surprise me much, then where have you been all this time?" Chakotay asked, glad he was finally able to formulate an intelligent question. He had never felt so dumbfounded in all his life.

"It's – it's a rather long story," Kathryn said, laughing uncertainly. "Could we talk it over in person?"

"I don't think that would be a problem," Chakotay said slowly, still being cautious. "Stand by." He signaled Elizabeth to cut the connection.

"Chakotay to EMH," he stated.

"EMH here, Captain."

"Can you scan the ship and compare the biosigns there with those we have on file for Kathryn and Harry?"

"It appears so. Stand by," the doctor replied.

* * *

"They're scanning the ship. Making sure we are who we say we are?" Harry questioned, watching his console.

"I figured he would," Kathryn said confidently, still appearing firmly in control of the situation.

"You scared?" Harry ventured, wondering at her calm demeanor. Kathryn grinned at him wryly.

"Shitless," she admitted. He laughed involuntarily, then grew serious again.

"What do you think is going to happen? Once we're back over there for good."

She reached over to clasp his hand, and he threaded his fingers tightly through hers.

"I don't know," she answered, although she wasn't entirely sure what he was referring to.

"And when they see Alli?" Harry pressed.

Kathryn had seen the look on Chakotay's face. She could read him better than many telepaths would be able to. He still has feelings for me. The way his face lit up… she wanted to cry.

"I think it's going to be a … shock," Kathryn said hesitantly.

"Well, we were stranded together for a long time. I think the crew will understand, don't you?" Harry had the uncomfortable sensation that he was standing on ground that was rapidly shifting out from under him.

"I wasn't talking about the crew," she said in a strangled voice.

"Oh," Harry managed dully, as he realized what she was talking about.

"He hasn't forgotten. It was written all over his face." Kathryn's face was stricken.

Harry took a deep breath, exhaled it slowly, and watched her for a moment, without speaking.

"And what about your feelings for him?" he ground out, the question sounding like it was torn unwillingly from his soul. There was agony in his eyes.

Kathryn blinked at him, hurt. "How can you even ask that?"

* * *

"EMH to the bridge."

"Go ahead."

"The biosigns on the ship match what we have on record for both Kathryn Janeway and Harry Kim." The doctor did not mention the third biosign over on the smaller ship.

Chakotay audibly exhaled.

"Thank you doctor. Mike, lower the shields. Ensign McKay, instruct them that they may beam over at their convenience."

"Aye, sir." There was a pause. "They will be arriving shortly, sir," she added.

Chakotay stood and nodded. "Thank you, Ensign."

He turned to his first officer. "Tuvok- "

"Please - " Tom burst out, before Chakotay could finish, and then looked apologetic. "May I be in the transporter room when they arrive?"

Chakotay nodded, a slight smile creasing his features. "You have the conn," he said quietly to Tuvok. "We'll be meeting in the conference room in 20 minutes. Contact the rest of the senior staff."

* * *

Harry slung the satchel that they used to carry Alli's baby things over his shoulder. "That everything she'll need for awhile?" he asked, as Kathryn gently picked up their baby girl.

"I think so," Kathryn said distractedly, smoothing Alli's raven-dark hair. "I feel like I'm going to be sick," she added in a murmur.

Harry watched her with concern, and tried to put himself in her position. _She was the leader of a starship, and has returned to a crew that is already following someone else. She is afraid of what the crew will think when they find out she's married a subordinate, and she's afraid of badly hurting someone who was already badly hurt when she disappeared._ At least, Harry hoped that's who she was afraid of badly hurting.

"Come here," he ordered gently. She walked into his embrace and he folded his arms around her and Alli. "We've made it through a lot of things, and we'll make it through this too. And," he swallowed hard as he made the next statement, "as long as you are satisfied with the decisions that you have made, then what anyone else thinks doesn't really matter."

Kathryn's eyes were shiny with tears.

"I love you, Harry." He stepped onto the one-man transporter unit tucked into a tiny alcove just off the bridge.

"I love you too," he said, hoping to God that it was not a farewell.

* * *

By the time Tom and Chakotay had arrived at the transporter room, B'Elanna had joined them as well. She looked down self-consciously at her slightly rounded stomach, and smiled,

"I couldn't wait to tell Harry the news. He knew we were trying before he - before he left," she finished, unsure of what word was appropriate.

"Energizing," said the transporter chief. Chakotay felt his insides tying into knots as Harry shimmered into view.

Harry bounded off the pad immediately. He and Tom embraced, clapping each other on the back, and laughing like idiots. "B'Elanna!" he exclaimed. "Look at y - " he broke off when the transporter chief indicated he was beaming Kathryn over.

When she coalesced into view, Harry was standing next to the transporter pad, and held up a hand to help her step down, with an ease and naturalness that was apparent to everyone in the room. Chakotay swallowed and worked valiantly to maintain his composure.

_Spirits above, they have a baby! _was his one coherent thought.

There was uncomfortable silence.

"You had a baby?" B'Elanna rushed to fill the lull, coming as close to squealing as a half-Klingon could. "She is so pretty. Our girls won't be very far apart then!"

Kathryn finally smiled, and congratulated B'Elanna. "Her name's Alli," she added, almost as an afterthought.

Tom stepped over to them then, to examine the baby. "She's gorgeous." He met Kathryn's gaze with a genuine smile. "It's good to see you again, Captain," he said sincerely.

Chakotay saw Kathryn relax visibly. She and Tom had always had a kind of rapport that he couldn't fathom.

Tom and B'Elanna quickly appropriated the baby, and began making a fuss over her, asking questions while Harry answered them, beaming as only a proud father could.

Kathryn turned and looked at Chakotay for the first time since they had arrived. Her eyes were wary and uncertain, but she smiled.

"It is good to see you again," Chakotay echoed Tom, his voice rough with repressed emotion.

"I missed this so much! I didn't even realize how much I missed it. And I – I missed you," she said in almost a whisper. She threw herself toward him, and hugged him tightly. He hesitated for a moment, but then his arms embraced her as well.

When she stepped back out of his embrace, she was wiping away tears, and laughing at herself for acting so ridiculous.

"How's _Voyager_?" she asked. "Why weren't you further ahead? Did something happen? Is everyone okay?" Her questions tripped over one another, and Chakotay held up one hand to stop her.

"We have questions for you too," he said, smiling, although it really didn't reach his eyes. "We've got everyone coming to the conference room in a few minutes. We can go over everything there."

Just then, Alli shifted uncomfortably in B'Elanna's arms and began to fuss.

"Oh, she's probably getting hungry," Kathryn said with chagrin. "It's about time for me to feed her."

"Why don't you both go to sickbay?" Tom suggested. "I know the doctor is just dying to give you both a once-over, and you can feed her there."

"Thanks, Tom," Harry said. "We'll come up to the conference room in a few minutes."

* * *

B'Elanna and Tom were talking excitedly to one another, as they made their way up to the conference room.

"Wasn't Alli beautiful? Those eyes!" B'Elanna exclaimed.

"Harry's going to have to keep a phaser handy when she's old enough to start dating," Tom added.

They both realized at about the same time that Chakotay had not spoken since they had left the transporter room, and looked shamefacedly at each other.

"Chakotay, are you okay?" B'Elanna ventured tentatively. Chakotay looked stunned, almost as if he wasn't really aware that they were there.

"I… I imagined what it would be like if, by some miracle, she was alive… I imagined it a thousand times. And never once, never once…" his voice trailed off, as he thought of beautiful dark-eyed babies that weren't his.

B'Elanna and Tom looked at him sympathetically, as the turbolift came to a halt on the bridge deck.

"Maybe it'll help, once we find out what happened," B'Elanna said, not really believing it.

Chakotay smiled bitterly, and he barked out, "Call me when they're ready," striding past Ensign McKay without even acknowledging her existence.

* * *

"I don't think that went so well," Kathryn said, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "It was really…awkward."

"Yeah, it's nice to have your welcome be the captain of the vessel looking like he'd like to beat the holy shit out of you," Harry said, without humor.

"Harry, he did not look at you like that." Her voice was tired and frustrated.

"Kathryn, I was there! The hostility was rolling off of him in waves."

"He's just… had a shock, that's all. We all have really."

"Why are you defending him?" Harry's voice was edgy.

"I'm not defending him. He didn't do anything to be defended for!"

"Were you in the same room I was?" Harry asked sarcastically. "You could have cut the tension with a laser scalpel. He was as jealous as hell!"

"He is the captain of this ship, and you need to give him the respect that title merits." Kathryn said, low and dangerously.

"Don't cast his rank up to me, Kathryn. You think I am not aware that I'm only an Ensign? You think I don't know that my lower rank is part of your whole problem with this?"

Kathryn threw up her hands in disgust. They had arrived at sickbay, and came through the double doors, still arguing.

"I knew… I just _knew _you would make this an issue eventually!" she seethed.

"I didn't make it an issue. You're the one who brought it up!"

The doctor came around the corner, but retreated quickly when he got the gist of the conversation…if one could call it that.

"How in the hell did I bring it up?"

"You're the one who brought up that he was the captain."

"He_is_ the captain. That is merely a statement of fact!"

"I never disputed the fact that he was the captain, and that he deserves my respect. He_ has_ my respect. But the fact remains that I also deserve respect because I am your husband!"

"That has never been up for debate either!"

"You didn't tell him we were married," Harry observed quietly. "You let him think - well, who knows what he thought?"

Allanora chose that moment to wail in protest that her nutritional needs had apparently been forgotten. While her parents were momentarily distracted by this, the doctor reappeared.

"Ah," he said. "Thank you, Miss Kim, for putting an end to that… emotional display I was just forced to witness."

Kathryn and Harry glowered at him, but he appeared unfazed.

"Captain Janeway, would you like to begin feeding her, while I go ahead with Mr. Kim's physical?"

"That would be fine, Doctor," Kathryn muttered, and wandered around the divider in search of a comfortable chair.

"So you and the Captain are married?" The Doctor asked in a soothingly neutral voice.

"Year and a half," Harry answered, his tone still somewhat sullen.

"And the name of your daughter?"

"Allanora. We're calling her Alli."

Kathryn looked down at the perfection she held in her arms, and Alli blinked back up at her with a sleepy gaze. _Precious baby_, she thought, _I hope…_ she couldn't finish her thought, because she didn't know what she hoped. No one was going to emerge from this unscathed.

* * *

They walked up toward the bridge and the conference room in silence, when the Doctor had finished with them. The unresolved conflict had smothered the desire to speak. They were aware of astounded eyes on them as they walked to the conference room, and managed to make themselves return smiles.

When they entered the conference room, the awaiting senior staff burst into spontaneous applause. Kathryn held up one hand, shaking her head that they did not deserve this kind of attention. Everyone was present, except the doctor, who had volunteered to watch Alli for them, and would monitor the meeting from sickbay. Kathryn made the rounds of those who had not been in the transporter, giving heartfelt hugs to Seven, Neelix, and especially Tuvok.

"Let me first," Chakotay said, somewhat formally and heavily, "on behalf of the crew of _Voyager_, welcome you both back to the ship. It was a shattering day to everyone when you were lost."

"We missed everyone as well," Kathryn murmured, in a similar manner.

"So, what happened on Gentarra Prime? The Chancellor said you were murdered by a street thug," Tom asked.

"I was assaulted," Kathryn began, noting that her voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere else. "A Gentarran male stole my communicator, and came after me with a knife. Harry came to my rescue," she flicked a glance up at Harry.

"I really just ran with her," Harry demurred.

"We came to this door, which was slightly ajar, and ducked into it to hide. I was hoping to get us enough time for Harry to signal for a beam out - "

" – but we weren't in any kind of building," Harry interjected. "We were in this field, with no buildings in sight. My communicator was dead, and - "

" – we found out we were still on Gentarra, but in an alternate universe, one where Gentarra had remained agriculturally centered."

"The Gentarrans figured out how to create a stable portal between universes?" Tuvok asked, raising his eyebrows. "Impressive."

"Is this what they were so intent on keeping secret?" Chakotay asked, trying to ignore the pain slamming through him. They were finishing each other's damn sentences!

Kathryn nodded. "They had just completed a cycle, and the agrarian end of Gentarra had no control over the system. The cycle had to be reset and charged up again, and that would take years."

"It would have been nearly five years, but the scientists on Gentarra Prime had been experimenting with two-way transport, and opened the portal early," Harry added.

"We got lucky," Kathryn said.

"A sympathetic scientist hid us until our ship was ready. The Gentarran government would have killed us to keep us from leaving their planet with knowledge of the portal."

"Yegran told you we were dead. Why? Wasn't it enough that we had just disappeared?" Kathryn asked, looking at Chakotay.

"I sent a security team down to look. We found your communicator crushed into powder, and Harry's communicator signal had just vanished. When we got too close to the area where the signal had disappeared, they forced us to leave. They gave us all of our supplies free, and produced some random Gentarran to say that he had attacked and killed you. Even talked about stealing your commbadge." Chakotay seemed to realize that he was rambling, and stopped rather abruptly.

"What was it like on the other Gentarra?" B'Elanna asked. "Did they have any technology?"

"Not much!" Harry laughed. "They had a sort of communications system, and they had good medical equipment, but all that they got from Gentarra Prime in exchange for food and ore and natural resources. I worked in the blacksmith's forge, and Kathryn had a garden!" Laughter rippled around the table, but Kathryn's smile froze at the last part of Harry's statement. _New Earth._

Unwillingly, she dragged her gaze up to meet Chakotay's. Her heart thudded in her ears, at the longing on his face. He wasn't even bothering to hide it. Color flooded her face, but no one appeared to have been paying any attention to them.

"I even canned them too!" Kathryn forced herself to say merrily.

"Damn near blew up the house," Harry teased.

"Only the first time!" she protested innocently. Tom guffawed.

Chakotay managed to smile, despite fresh agony from their teasing banter, as well as the innocent phrase "the house". Then he noticed that Elizabeth was watching him from the other end of the table. She was pale, and her blue eyes were dark and thoughtful. He realized guiltily that he hadn't given her a second thought since Kathryn had contacted _Voyager_. She noticed the emotion that flitted across his face, and an infinitesimal shudder went through her body. She jerked her gaze away.

"But what happened to _Voyager_?" Kathryn asked. "You should have been more than two years ahead of us."

Chakotay related the tale of the Fylari pirates, and Kathryn's eyes were flashing with indignation, as B'Elanna told about the crash landing and extensive damage. Her face clouded with sorrow when she heard about the lost crewmen.

"We probably both left that area at nearly the same time," Tom mused.

"And we were following almost the exact same course," Harry added, and told the story of the Sikari marketplace, and how they come to realize that_ Voyager_ was not far ahead of them.

"What day did you launch?" Kathryn asked. When Chakotay told her, she and Harry exchanged a significant glance.

"Alli's birthday," they said in unison. There were confused looks from some of the senior staff, and Harry explained how they had been discovered and forced to flee Gentarra Prime in the middle of Kathryn's labor, and about Allanora's subsequent birth on an isolated moon.

There were some nonplussed glances, as the remaining senior staff tried to digest the fact that their captain had a baby, and with Ensign Kim, no less.

Harry noticed that Kathryn kept her hands firmly in her lap, and she was twirling her wedding ring around on her finger, pushing the stone with her thumb. _Does she wish she didn't have it on?_ he wondered. In any case, it was obvious that she didn't feel comfortable revealing the more permanent aspect of their relationship.

"What are your plans for your ship?" Chakotay asked, but then backed up. "You will come back to _Voyager_?"

"Of course," Kathryn said, looking quickly at Harry for confirmation. "She's too big for the shuttlebay, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Unless we got rid of everything else in there."

Kathryn looked pained. "I hate to leave her behind. You worked so hard on her." Chakotay had the uncomfortable sensation that he was eavesdropping on a private conversation. At the same moment, Kathryn seemed to realize that they were still in a room full of people.

"We could strip her down," Harry offered. "There is a lot of technology on board that could possibly be adapted or reworked for _Voyager_."

"That way nobody else would have access to the technology, either," Tom said, "once you left her behind."

"That's true," Kathryn replied. "I guess it's the only thing to do. What about…" she stumbled, searching for the appropriate words. "What about our status? Are we back on active duty?" she asked.

"You may resume command any time you're ready, Kathryn," Chakotay said immediately.

"Chakotay, I don't want to just show up and steal your command. You've obviously done an excellent job." Their use of each other's given names did not go unnoticed by the others in the room. Neither did their apparent unawareness that they had done so.

"Kathryn, it means enough that you've returned. I don't need to be captain," Chakotay said, in such a heartfelt way that most of the senior staff felt the need to concentrate on something else, like their laps, or the opposite wall.

"Only if you're sure," she said.

"I'm sure," he replied, and no one was really certain of what exactly they were talking about anymore.

Harry stood abruptly.

"If we're about finished, I'd like to go check on Alli please," he looked at Chakotay for permission, but his countenance suggested that he would do what he damn well pleased.

"The meeting is over anyway," Chakotay said. "We would like your reports on file, as soon as you have them. You're all dismissed."

As the room emptied, Kathryn and Chakotay found themselves alone. She flicked a quick glance at him, and then turned to go.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay said hoarsely. His dark eyes burned into hers, and her heart began to pound. "We need to talk."

**TBC**

**Next chapter: Conversations**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I was so excited when there were so many of them. I hope I got this update out quickly enough…the reviews were certainly motivating!**


	8. Conversations

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground

**Conversations**

"Chakotay, I really don't know what there is to say," Kathryn was trying to keep her voice even and refrain from stammering. Her features were guarded.

"When I saw you appear on the viewscreen today, it was like… it was like coming back to life. It was like something that went terribly wrong was finally corrected. I – I can't explain it any better than that." His eyes were dark pools of emotion.

"I have never been so glad to see anyone in my entire life," Kathryn echoed his sentiment, feeling like her words were terribly inadequate.

"You know – you know how – how I feel about you," Chakotay said simply. "You know I love you." There. It was out. Kathryn flinched.

"You shouldn't being saying that to me."

"You have been gone for more than two years. We thought you were dead. Don't start handing me protocol on your first day back!" Chakotay's voice was sharp.

"That's not why I – what about the Ensign at Harry's post? What would you tell her?" Chakotay blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in the course of the conversation.

"How did you – nobody else knows about that."

"I'm not anybody else." There was a touch of humor in Kathryn's voice. "I was your Captain, and your best friend, and I know you better than anyone else in the universe." She smiled crookedly at him. "Don't I?"

Chakotay had to acknowledge the truth in her statement.

"Elizabeth and I … aren't that serious. We haven't been seeing each other for very long."

"Oh, so throwing her over for me would be okay?" she said sarcastically.

Chakotay refused to be sidetracked any further. "This isn't about her. This is about us."

"There isn't an 'us'," Kathryn said patiently.

"There could be," he argued.

"There could _have been_," she corrected. He looked at her in disbelief, and she felt tears springing to her eyes.

"Chakotay, Harry and I – we – "

"You were stranded together on a planet for a long time. You had a fling, you had a baby, I - "

Kathryn's mouth was dry, and she closed her eyes quickly, trying to quell the sudden feeling of nausea. She held up her left hand slowly, palm facing her.

"We got married." Her words dropped heavily into silence. She saw Chakotay's jaw work, but he said nothing. She continued, almost desperate to explain herself. "On Gentarra. We – we lived together and worked together, and we were all each other had. And we – we fell in love with each other." She laughed in disbelief. "Neither one of us saw it coming. It took him 6 months to call me something besides 'Captain'. And - "

"Kathryn," Chakotay spoke slowly, interrupting her. It was too much. "You don't owe me an explanation. We had no understanding."

"Yes, we did. I know it and you know it," Kathryn said tiredly. "Just because it wasn't ever mentioned, doesn't mean it wasn't there… a promise of something…someday." She sighed. "I never intended - "

"Kathryn, you don't have to explain, and you don't have to apologize. I – I'm being enough of an ass as it is. Your life is about to completely change – _again_ – and I'm throwing all this on you." Chakotay shook his head. "I'm _sorry_, Kathryn."

Kathryn's smile was wobbly. "Well, what about me?" she asked. "You've been lonely and in mourning. Then I show up and shoot all your dreams to hell." Her eyes were troubled, stormy. "If it's going to cause too many problems, we could – we could go."

"No, Kathryn – no – don't – don't let me drive you away," he pleaded. "Please."

"I don't know, Chakotay. This is too awkward and tense and – maybe it would just be easier if - "

"You had to know I felt this way," Chakotay said gently. "What were you planning on doing? Hiding from me all the way to the Alpha quadrant?"

"Maybe!" she exclaimed. "I was already – I was afraid something like this – and I didn't know how people would react to Harry – to Harry and me - " Chakotay winced. "I mean," she continued, "I can't ever promote him now, because then everyone will say - " _I'm rambling, _she thought wildly. _Am I even completing my sentences?_

"Well, you weren't going to dissolve your marriage just because you found _Voyager_, were you?" Chakotay asked.

"No – at least - I don't think so. When I thought about seeing you again… I was confused. I loved you too, you know. Very much." She looked at the table top. "Maybe part of me still does."

Chakotay's breath quickened, and it was all he could do not to stride over to her, and take her in his arms, and…

"Do you still love him?" The question was deceptively casual. Chakotay wouldn't look at her.

She gazed at him, until the force of their silence drove him to look up at her. Her blue-gray eyes were luminous.

* * *

At the end of his shift, Tom found Harry sitting glumly in sickbay, holding a sleeping Alli. 

"Hey, you all right?" asked the irrepressible pilot, looking at his friend with some concern.

"They – I feel like I'm waiting for some kind of cosmic jury to return with a verdict," Harry replied, scrubbing one hand across his face in a kind of soul-weariness.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Harry said tersely.

"Come on, let's go down to the mess hall. We have nearly three years to catch up on." Tom said jovially, his blue eyes revealing his underlying seriousness.

"I'd rather - "

"Nope, sorry," Tom interrupted. "You're coming with me." He steered Harry out of sickbay by his shoulders.

When they arrived in the mess hall, there was a low buzz of excited conversation, much more noticeable than usual. It dwindled away into silence, as various crewmembers noticed Harry and Tom enter the double doors. Harry felt the pressure of every eye on him and Alli, and he had half an urge to beat a hasty retreat.

The murmur gradually resumed, along with a few cheers and whistles. Harry smiled an acknowledgement of these, as he threaded his way to a booth near the back corner. Tom followed with two glasses.

"So, what's going on?" he said, setting the drinks down with a thunk.

"They're still in the conference room talking," Harry said. "I'm – I'm afraid I'm going to lose her, Tom," he blurted in a rush. He looked down at his hands, noticing the way his wedding ring glinted in the low light of the mess hall.

"Wow," Tom said, noticing the ring for the first time. "So you and the captain actually… got married?"

"Yeah," Harry answered, and his face took on a faraway expression. "It was all so odd… by some freak accident, we end up together in a place where… where none of it mattered… not our ages, not our ranks, not our past… we could just be ourselves, and…" He trailed off. "She has the most beautiful, infectious laugh. I never saw her laugh much before. I was so upset, when I found out we were trapped on Gentarra, but by the time we left, I almost didn't want to leave. It was perfect, because _she _was there. You know?" He sighed.

"I know exactly what you mean. Hell, _Voyager_'s more of a home than I ever had in the Alpha Quadrant, and here, I have B'Elanna and the baby…"

"She told me once that this would never have happened if we were onboard _Voyager_," Harry said ruefully. "And she was right. I think I told her so. I never stopped to think what that might mean if we ever found _Voyager_."

"You don't really think it's over, do you?" Tom's forehead creased over anxious eyes.

"Did you see the way Chakotay was looking at her?" Harry's dark eyes flashed fire.

"Maybe he was just in shock," Tom suggested tentatively. Harry snorted disbelievingly.

"That's what _she _said. Why do people keep saying that? What would you do if someone was looking at B'Elanna like that?" Harry said hotly. Tom grinned cheekily over the rim of his glass.

"I'd let B'Elanna beat them to a bloody pulp." He then grew serious again.

"Think about it… the person you love that you thought was dead, suddenly shows up… the gods are smiling on you, it's the best gift you could ever receive… then, you find out she's with someone else, and it's all a cruel joke – ripped away from you before you even had a chance to close your hands around it." Harry regarded Tom for a moment.

"That's really beautiful, Paris," he said sardonically.

"Do you really think Chakotay is going to keep mooning around after her like that, if she turns him down? He is an adult, and he'll have to be realistic about it."

Harry shrugged. "He mooned around after her before." Tom choked on his drink, and started coughing. Harry let the corners of his mouth turn up in a slight smile. "What if she doesn't turn him down? What happens to me then? What happens to Alli?"

"C'mon, Harry! Kathryn Janeway has a streak of honor a mile wide. Do you really think she's going to ditch you and the baby?"

"I don't _want_ her to stay because she feels she's obligated!" Harry's voice had risen a little, and he noticed a few sidewise glances from other tables. He lowered his voice to continue, "I want her to stay because she loves me, because she wants to. Is that too much to ask?"

Tom looked at him with sympathy, and shook his head. "No, Harry, it's not too much to ask at all."

There was a moment of silence between the two friends. Harry seemed lost in thought, but then spoke suddenly,

"Tom, if she – "

"No, don't," Tom interrupted him quickly. "You can't do this to yourself, Harry. You can't sit there and 'what if'… you'll make yourself crazy."

"Well, what are my alternatives?" The sarcasm was back. Tom shot him a look.

"I liked you better when you were starry-eyed and idealistic," he snarked. Harry glared at him, and Tom decided that the better part of valor was returning to the subject at hand.

"You can either accept whatever decision she makes or you can fight it," Tom said simply.

"I could leave," Harry said quietly. Tom did a double take, and looked unsure whether or not he'd heard Harry properly.

"_What_?"

"I could leave," he repeated. "I have a ship, state of the art, almost as fast as _Voyager_. I could take Alli and go."

"Harry, you couldn't do that," Tom's eyes were wide, and his voice was panicky. "You – you _wouldn't_ do that. What if something happened to you? Alli would be all alone."

Harry looked at him for a moment, his face set like a stone. Then he chuckled bitterly.

"No," he shook his head, "I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't separate Alli from Kathryn. No matter what happens to me."

* * *

"Lieutenant Torres?" 

B'Elanna almost groaned when she heard the precisely modulated tones of their resident former Borg.

"What is it, Seven?" she asked, sliding out from under the console she'd been working on. Seven looked distracted.

"I do not believe that Lieutenant Paris would be gratified to learn that you have been working under consoles."

"Is that what you came over here to say?" B'Elanna said in an annoyed tone.

"No. I came to ask you about the meeting in the conference room. I am… confused about what transpired there." B'Elanna's eyes slid shut momentarily. _This oughta be fun_, she thought.

"What is confusing you, Seven?"

"Everyone in the room seemed to be experiencing a high level of anxiety, especially Captain Janeway, Captain Chakotay, and Ensign Kim. Their heart rates were accelerated, as was their respiration. Body temperature was also elevated. Was this not supposed to be a happy occasion?"

"How do you know it wasn't?" B'Elanna asked belligerently.

Seven raised one eyebrow. "I have not been around humans for an extensive amount of time, but even I am able to determine the difference between anxiety and excitement. I am very … agreeable to Captain Janeway's return, and Ensign Kim's as well. Why then was Captain Chakotay so upset?"

B'Elanna looked uncertain as how best to proceed.

"Seven," she began, "have you ever been in love?"

"I believe that what I felt for Axum in Unimatrix Zero could be correctly identified as affection," Seven answered cautiously. B'Elanna rolled her eyes.

"Were you sad when Unimatrix Zero was shut down?"

"I felt an emptiness in my life. I wished to see and talk with Axum, and it was difficult to accept that I could not."

"That's the way Chakotay felt when Captain Janeway ended up missing, when he thought she was dead."

"But Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim are in a relationship, are they not?" Seven asked.

"Yes," B'Elanna patiently replied.

"Then th – " Seven stopped, and thought a moment. "Ah," she said. "I believe I understand." She paused again. "Why would the captain engage in desire for someone who is not available? It does not make sense."

"Seven, it's hard to explain," B'Elanna began, but Seven interrupted.

"Perhaps I should ask the captain for an explanation," she said thoughtfully.

"No!" B'Elanna cried comically, lunging toward the former drone.

* * *

"Yes, I do love him," Kathryn answered quietly. Chakotay's face was impassive. 

"I guess that settles that, then," he said, just as softly.

"Chakotay, I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know you didn't, Kathryn." He seemed subdued, as if the reality of all of it had finally begun to sink in. "You couldn't have foreseen any of this. And I really had no claim on you anyway."

"You did have a claim on me…once," she looked at him a little wistfully. "Now somebody else does…two somebodies do," she amended. "You were starting to let go too, when I came back, weren't you, Chakotay?"

He thought guiltily of Elizabeth. _What must she think of me?_ he wondered.

"I don't know if I'd even gotten that far, Kathryn," he admitted. "I was trying. Obviously, not very successfully."

"All you can do is try," Kathryn said unoriginally. "On Gentarra, for months, I would think of you… and _Voyager_… and wonder where you were and what you were doing. Finally, I started trying _not_ to think of you. I wasn't really trying to think of Harry… or anybody else. It just happened." She half-smiled. "It certainly wasn't in my plans. The point is, you would have let go, were already letting go, when we came back."

"But then you did come back," Chakotay countered. "Knocked my world off its axis, told me everything I thought was true was a lie."

"My universe has been knocked awry too," Kathryn agreed. "Hell, for awhile it was completely gone! I'm not the same person I was when I left. I haven't been a captain for a long time. I'm somebody's wife… I'm somebody's mother." She shook her head as if she couldn't comprehend it. "I don't think the person you were in love with even exists anymore."

"She's still here, trust me," Chakotay replied, with a slight return of the trademark twinkle. He appeared to be pondering what to say next. "Your happiness has always been of paramount importance to me. I made a vow to you on New Earth, a long time ago. I'll not withdraw it now."

Kathryn smiled. She knew that was Chakotay's way of saying that he would still be there for her, supporting her, standing beside her, no matter what happened. She took a step toward him, and held up her hand, palm toward him, fingers outstretched.

He held up his hand too, mirroring hers, until they touched, palm to palm. Their fingers folded down, intertwined with each other. They didn't speak, but there were all things in their shared gaze: a question, a promise, an apology, a benediction.

Gently, Kathryn removed her fingers.

"I need to go see about Alli," she murmured. "We'll probably spend a last night on the _Renaissance_, and start moving and dismantling everything tomorrow." She looked at Chakotay questioningly, and he nodded his agreement to this plan of action. "I'll just take your quarters," she ventured uncertainly.

Chakotay shook his head. "I never moved out of them, Kathryn. Your quarters haven't been touched. I'll have someone clean them out, and Harry's too, before tomorrow."

"Harry won't – Harry won't need his – " she struggled. Chakotay flinched and felt stupid. _Right_, _he'll be sharing her quarters now._

"Of course," Chakotay said smoothly. "I wasn't thinking." Kathryn smiled at him, a little sadly, and with her head down, exited the conference room.

Chakotay sat at the empty conference table, slouched in the chair, fingers steepled, brooding out at the starscape. The pain of loss sliced through him again, anew.

* * *

"Hey," Kathryn said, "I've been looking for you." She came more fully into their quarters on the _Renaissance_, where Harry sat thoughtfully on the small sofa, staring out the viewport, unseeing. 

"What do you want?" Harry asked, not rudely, but indifferently. Kathryn blinked, as his words hit her like a physical blow.

"I just came to find you. And Alli. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Sleeping. She'll probably be ready to eat when she wakes up," Harry said. He could have been talking to a stranger. More silence.

"Harry, I wanted to apologize for what I said to you in sickbay. I was scared and nervous and worried… and you were a convenient target. You didn't deserve it."

"I was all those things too, Kathryn," he said, finally looking at her. "And you can throw jealous and insecure into the mix too, if you'd like. Did you ever think about just talking to me about it?"

"I didn't know how. Everything happened so fast, and I – I wasn't sure what I wanted." Harry noted the past tense. "I told Chakotay we'd start moving everything back to _Voyager_ tomorrow. Maybe B'Elanna could help us dismantle the cloaking device." She watched him with anxious eyes, and sat down at the other end of the sofa. "I figured we could spend one last night on _our_ ship."

"That sounds good," Harry said neutrally. "I am going to miss her." Kathryn looked at him, but his face was blank. She wondered if there was some kind of double meaning to his words.

"So am I," she opted to say, in a reminiscing tone. "Alli was born here. There are some good memories here." She would have continued rambling down this happy path, but Harry spoke quickly before she could continue.

"Kathryn," he interposed. "I know what's going on. Just – just tell me."

"Just tell you what?" she asked archly, one eyebrow raised.

"Everybody already knows you and Chakotay have a history together," he burst out.

"Then, 'everybody' is incorrect. Chakotay and I have never spoken of any kind of formal arrangement," Kathryn informed him. He looked at her skeptically. "There was an … unspoken understanding that we might begin a relationship once we reached the Alpha Quadrant… nothing more."

"Nothing more! How the hell can I compete with the promise of some idyllic future together?"

"Why are you competing at all?" Kathryn asked defensively.

"I just can't believe you're willing to throw all this away at the first sign of - "

"I never said I was throwing anything away."

"Look, I can only assume that you made your decision while you were in there talking to Chakotay. I saw the way he looked at you," he said, sounding drained. "Everybody saw it."

Sadness and compassion washed over Kathryn's features. "Harry," she whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry - " she watched his shoulders slump at her words, and his lips clamped tightly together, restraining an outbreak of emotion.

"I guess that - " he began, starting to turn away from her. She stopped him.

"Harry," she repeated, and reached out to him, bracketing his face with her hands, and forcing him to look at her. "I am sorry that I led you to believe that there was some kind of decision that had to be made. I made that decision 18 months ago, when I married you. I don't regret it, and I don't want out." She looked at him searchingly, hoping he understood.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to stay… because of Alli, or because we're married," he replied.

"I don't. I love you, Harry Kim, and I love our daughter. I may always wonder what would have happened if Chakotay and I had gotten together, and I may always harbor a little nostalgia for that. But I would never seek to trade what I received in exchange."

"Do you promise?" Harry whispered, feeling a little foolish, but wanting badly to believe her.

"Always," she whispered back, and leaned toward him until their foreheads touched. They sat in silence, savoring the bittersweet moment of reconciliation.

"People are going to talk," he observed, a while later. "About us being together, I mean. Are you okay with that?"

"I guess I have no choice," she answered. "I've always been worried about what people thought of me. And I guess it's because I've always been held up as an example. When I was little, I was supposed to set an example for Phoebe. When I got in the Academy, I had to be an example because I was Admiral Janeway's daughter. When I made captain, I became an example for other women with command aspirations." She smiled at him then. "Marrying you wasn't exactly regulation behavior."

"You weren't a captain when you married me," he murmured. "But Starfleet doesn't make married captains get unmarried when they take command."

"We would have to be careful not to engage in inappropriate behavior while on duty, or in front of the crew," she said seriously.

"What does that mean?" he asked. "No kissing? No groping?" he continued, providing examples of the cited inappropriate behavior. Kathryn felt herself melting under his touch. "No sex on the bridge?" He teased her, well aware of her dislike of overt displays of affection in public.

She drew back to look at him then, her look of wry disapproval giving way to a suggestive glint in her eyes.

"I'm not the captain yet," she said, in a throaty voice. Harry looked at her in horror, and Kathryn burst out laughing.

"I wasn't talking about the bridge on _Voyager_!" she exclaimed. "I know another bridge that's completely empty right now."

Harry pulled her close to him, and kissed her, a rough hungry kiss that was an outlet for all the uncertainty and anguish he had gone through that day. She kissed him back with all the ardency she possessed.

"Were you serious?" he asked.

"About what?" she murmured.

"The bridge thing," he replied.

She pulled him toward the access tube, by way of answering.

* * *

Chakotay was unsure how long he sat in the conference room, alone at the long table, continuing his somber vigil. When he finally left, the lighting in the corridors had been lowered in deference to ship's night. He walked into his darkened quarters, and stopped short when he saw the silhouette of a woman, outlined in starlight, seated on his sofa in front of the viewport. 

She turned toward him, at the sound of his footfalls, but remained otherwise motionless, and did not speak.

"Elizabeth," he said heavily.

"Chakotay," she echoed. "I've been waiting for you. We had.. we had a date tonight, so I let myself in." Her voice was so normal that he thought she might not have noticed any aberration in his behavior.

When he ordered the lights up to full, he saw her reddened eyes, and knew he was wrong.

"I'm glad she's back, Chakotay," Elizabeth ventured, trying to smile. "I know how much that means to you."

"Elizabeth - " Chakotay tried again, but she interrupted him.

"I always knew that failure was a possibility. Although," she laughed, "I certainly didn't think this would be the reason for the failure. You can't really blame me for that." Her voice was bright, but brittle.

"Elizabeth, stop!" Chakotay finally got out. "Stop, please." The petite blonde subsided in subdued surprise.

"Kathryn and I… had something special… in another time and another place," he said slowly. "We spent a long time talking… working things out." He watched Elizabeth swallow, blinking back fresh tears, and wondered if this is how Kathryn felt, watching him.

"Elizabeth, I don't know if this relationship is the best thing for us right now," he finally said, bluntly.

"I understand," Elizabeth replied, bracing her hands on the sofa, as if to rise.

"No, I don't think you do," Chakotay interjected. "Just hear – hear me out, please." She did not stand up, and Chakotay took that as his cue to continue. "I have always had feelings for Kathryn, and I think they've been somewhat of a badly kept secret. All my dreams of a relationship with her came suddenly back to life when she reappeared today. It was a … heady feeling, to say the least. But…" he trailed off.

"But?" Elizabeth echoed, raising her eyebrows at his silence.

"She told me some hard truths today. For one thing, she and Harry are married," he said, with a kind of detached amazement. "Kathryn Janeway has never been one to bail out on a commitment. And she's in love with him as well."

"She turned you down," Elizabeth said in wonder. Chakotay winced at her blunt summary of the facts.

"She told me that the Kathryn I fell in love with probably didn't exist anymore, and she's probably right." He saw the hope, which had fizzled out, spring back to life in Elizabeth's eyes. "But, that being said," he added hastily, "It's almost like finding out she died all over again. That Kathryn may not exist anymore, but I still love her."

"What are you saying?" Elizabeth asked warily.

"I'm not fit for a relationship right now," Chakotay said honestly. "Elizabeth, I know this is not fair to you, but neither is being with someone who is struggling with feelings for someone else."

"I see," she said slowly. "May I tell you something?"

"Of course," he nodded, looking at her oddly.

"Maybe, just maybe, I feel for you something like what you feel for Captain Janeway," she said, standing up to face him. "Maybe I'm in love with you, Chakotay."

"Elizabeth – " he began, but she interrupted him.

"I understand what you're saying. And I may even agree with your intentions. But I'm also saying that I'm going to wait… until you're ready to completely love me. And I think one day, you will be."

"You don't have to – " She put one hand over his lips to shush him.

"I know," she murmured softly.

* * *

Kathryn disentangled herself from Harry, early the next morning, unwilling to disturb him quite yet. They had packed a few things the night before, and she readied those things for transport, after she had gotten dressed. Alli woke up, fussy with hunger, and Kathryn fed her. 

She awakened Harry right before she beamed over.

"I thought I should get you up before I left," she whispered, as he stirred and opened his eyes. "I already beamed some things over, and I'm going to go to _Voyager_ and start getting us settled."

He mumbled a sleepy assent.

"I'll send B'Elanna over in a little while, and you can start uninstalling some of the Gentarran technology. We don't need to leave anything here."

"Okay," he said thickly, but began to get up. She climbed up to the transporter pad, with Alli on one hip, and transported over to _Voyager_. When she arrived at her quarters, she found that they had been cleaned, just as Chakotay had promised. She began to rearrange the rooms to more comfortably suit three, rather than just one.

She had been at this task for about two hours, when _Voyager _shuddered beneath her feet, and the red alert klaxon began its mournful wail.

On the bridge of _Voyager_, the Alpha shift had just come on duty, when an alarm began to chime on the tactical panel.

"There's a ship, Gentarran, dropping out of warp, decloaking off the port bow," Ayala said in alarm, "Weapons are locked. It – "

"Shields up!" Chakotay snapped. Weapons fire arced toward them too late, but sailed past them, without touching _Voyager._ Chakotay realized in shock, where the particle beams were going.

"Transporter room!" Chakotay began, even as the _Renaissance _was struck. The tiny ship shuddered under the barrage. "Transporter room, get everyone off of the _Renaissance_ now!"

"Stand by," the transporter chief responded.

"Target that ship and fire!" Chakotay snarled. Ayala fired, and the Gentarran ship faltered, but continued advancing on the _Renaissance._ It ignored _Voyager_.

"Tom, can you maneuver us between the enemy vessel and Kathryn's ship?" Chakotay asked.

Even as he spoke, several things happened at once. Kathryn burst onto the bridge, having dropped Alli off with the doctor, and headed there at a dead run, when the red alert sounded. _Voyager_ began to swing around under Tom's deft hands, and the Gentarran ship fired again.

"Fire at will," Chakotay ordered, and then noticed Kathryn standing there, looking somehow more vulnerable in civilian clothing. She watched the battle taking place on the viewscreen.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said.

"Harry," Kathryn murmured slowly, not appearing to hear Chakotay.

The _Renaissance_ exploded in a noiseless bloom of debris.

TBC 

**Next chapter: Confrontation**

**Thank you for all the reviews! I was so happily surprised, and glad that people are enjoying my little story.**


	9. Confrontation

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.

**AN: **Wow! 69 positive reviews, and 1 negative one. It is amazing how much that negative one stings. But the constructive one by **anonymous **immediately following really helped bolster me up to finish this chapter. Many thanks!

**Confrontation**

There was a moment several heartbeats long, where Kathryn stood motionless, with her eyes unwillingly taking in the shiny cascade of debris across the viewscreen. Her pulse thundered in her ears, and she could see Chakotay's mouth moving, but could not seem to hear anything he said. Her fingers gripped the railing so tightly that her knuckles were white, and yet she did not feel the strain in her joints.

Her world had shattered abruptly into a million tiny pieces, and they seemed to be falling, slowly, slowly, expanding outward like the debris field of the _Renaissance._

"Transporter room!" Chakotay shouted desperately. "Do you have Ensign Kim?"

"The Gentarrans are coming about, Captain!" Ayala said, tension evident in his voice.

"Target their weapons array and fire," Chakotay instructed, even as green particle beams shot towards _Voyager. _"Tom, evasive maneuvers!"

"Direct hit," Ayala said exultantly, as his phaser blasts hit the other ship, and then, "Minimal damage. Their shields absorbed almost all of the impact." _Voyager _shuddered as the Gentarran weapons' fire grazed the hull.

"Transporter room, respond!" Chakotay said intensely.

"The Gentarrans appear to be attempting disruption of our intraship communications," Ensign McKay observed.

"Can you jam their signal?"

"I'm trying," she replied crisply, her fingers flying across her workstation.

"Transporter room to bridge," came an unrecognizable voice, smothered in static.

"Go ahead," Chakotay said.

"I have Ensign Kim, but he's been injured," the transporter chief informed him. Kathryn gripped the railing even more tightly, and willed her knees not to buckle. Her world reconstructed itself quickly, and she felt dizzy and overwhelmed. _I will not cry on the bridge_, she thought fiercely to herself.

"Good work, chief. Get him to sickbay. Bridge out."

Chakotay heard the sibilant hiss of the turbolift doors behind him, and knew without looking that Kathryn had gone.

"What are they doing?" Chakotay asked, gesturing toward the Gentarran ship. It had moved away, and hung motionless among the stars.

"Holding position just out of weapons range," Ayala reported. "Weapons are still powered up, but they are not locked."

"Can they take us?"

"Their ship is smaller, but I can't even begin to delve into all their redundant systems. It looks like we are more than evenly matched, sir," Ayala replied.

"Hail them," the captain said tersely.

"Channel open," Elizabeth said.

"This is Captain Chakotay of the Federation starship _Voyager_," Chakotay began. "Explain your hostile actions against that vessel!"

"What concern is that vessel of yours?" came a smooth voice.

"They were ambushed and attacked without provocation," Chakotay responded, feeling his anger begin to rise, yet not comfortable revealing the status of the _Renaissance _crew to the Gentarran leader.

"They have committed espionage against the Gentarran government," the disembodied voice said. "We have been tracking them for several months."

"It would seem that you've accomplished your task, then," Chakotay said. "Your continued presence seems somewhat hostile."

"I don't think our stance is currently a hostile one," said the voice, amused.

"You fired on my ship!" Chakotay replied angrily.

"Consider it a …warning." The voice was softly menacing. "My men are scanning the debris fields. It is well known that the occupants of that ship were part of your crew at one time. If remains are not detected in the debris… we'll know where they are."

"And if we decided to leave?"

There was a barely audible chuckle. "Oh, I wouldn't try that, Captain." With a chirp, the connection was severed.

"Can their scans pick up something in that much detail?" Chakotay asked.

"It would fit with the other technology we've seen so far," Ayala admitted. Chakotay swore under his breath.

"I need Kathryn up here," he said, half to himself, and then tapped his commbadge. "Bridge to Sickbay."

"Sickbay here," the EMH responded, in his nasal tone.

"What is the status of Ensign Kim?"

"He was evidently thrown into a bulkhead during the first round of fire. He has a pretty severe scalp laceration and a fracture of his left leg. He'll be fine." Chakotay nodded in satisfaction. "Would you have Kathryn come up to the bridge as soon as possible? There may be an incident involving the Gentarrans."

"I'm on my way," Kathryn's voice was heard clearly over the open commlink.

* * *

"What's going on?" Kathryn Janeway was all business as she strode onto the command deck of _Voyager_.

"This Gentarran vessel is going to attack us as soon as they don't find your remains in the wreckage of the _Renaissance_," Chakotay informed her.

Kathryn's eyes shut for a moment, and she looked apologetic. "We thought… it's been so long since we left, we thought we were safe." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Are we outgunned?"

"Possibly," Chakotay replied succinctly. "B'Elanna mentioned that you had the Gentarran database on board the _Renaissance._ Did that make it over to _Voyager, _or was it lost?"

Kathryn looked at his curiously. "I uplinked to _Voyager_'s computer last night. It's just a cultural database though; it won't have any classified military information in it."

"We haven't got anything else to try. We've all seen Gentarran technology. I don't want to risk a firefight."

"Let's go look at it, then," she said.

"Get their registry number off their hull," Chakotay instructed Elizabeth, as he and Kathryn exited the bridge to the ready room.

A moment later, the registry number had pulled up the ship's name and crew complement.

"You're right; we're not going to be able to use any of this," Chakotay said. Janeway stared at the crew roster as it scrolled up the monitor. In an ironic coincidence, the ship was named the _Allanora_.

"Oh my God," she breathed.

Chakotay looked at her, uncomprehending.

"Prastin. Prastin is the captain of this ship," she said, growing excited. "We've got to talk to him."

"What good would that do?" Chakotay asked dubiously. "This is a different reality. He does not know you here."

"But I know the kind of person he is. Maybe he can be reasoned with." Chakotay looked doubtful, but conceded her point, deciding not to bring up the possibility that the circumstances of the different reality could have made Prastin into a completely different person. "Try to get him over here."

* * *

Prastin strode into the conference room of _Voyager_, looking very different in a Gentarran military uniform. A faint scar sliced along his cheekbone, and disappeared into his hair. He reacted immediately upon seeing Kathryn and Harry seated at the table, along with Chakotay. 

"You!" he said, with venom in his voice. "Our scan was nearly completed, but I see the evidence of our failure is right in front of me." He reached for the communicator on his hip.

"Wait!" Chakotay called out. "Hear us out, Captain, please." Prastin gave them a look, as if they were children that he was humoring.

"Very well. But I will be taking these two back to the _Allanora_ with me, and they will be executed for espionage against Gentarra Prime."

"And what about _Voyager_?" Chakotay asked smoothly. "Are you going to destroy us as well?"

"We have no quarrel with your ship…yet," Prastin said darkly.

"Why not?" Chakotay's voice was bland and disarming. "These two have left no detail out of their reports. We know all about the Portal."

Prastin face grew enraged, and he directed his ire toward Kathryn and Harry. "Yegran was right to want you hunted down and killed!"

"And now, let me finish what I have to say. The reports tell the reasons behind their disappearance and their return. That is all. Our ship is from a Federation of planets in the Alpha Quadrant, and we still have over 65 years of traveling ahead of us. We have no interest in your technology. We just want to go home."

"How do I know that you wouldn't sell this information to the highest bidder, should the opportunity arise?" Prastin sneered.

"You don't," Chakotay said honestly. "But we don't operate that way. The reports dealing with Gentarra Prime will be encrypted and sealed. Your secret will be safe." Prastin looked unconvinced.

"Prastin," Kathryn ventured, speaking for the first time, since his arrival. Prastin looked affronted at the familiar address. "You never minded me calling you by your given name before," she continued.

"Woman, you are –" Prastin began, and then stopped, as he realized what she was referring to.

"Yes, I knew you on Gentarra. We were friends with you. And your brother, Prascor. And your wife," Kathryn spoke tentatively, remembering Lurtak's warning that not everyone married the same people or ended up in the same circumstances in the alternate universe.

Prastin's eyes narrowed at her suspiciously at Prascor's name.

"I do have a brother by that name," he said reluctantly. "But I have no wife."

"You do on Gentarra," Kathryn said simply. "And a baby girl named Rasila. I was there when she was born." Prastin started.

"Rasila was my grandmother's name," he said. "I –" and he suddenly seemed to remember where he was, and what he was doing. "It really doesn't matter," he said, somewhat sadly. "I have my orders. Even if I were inclined to let you go, I would be court-martialed and imprisoned. My crew would report me to the Chancellery."

Kathryn leaned across the table slightly, and looked Prastin straight in the eyes.

"Harry and I have a baby girl as well. She was born the night we had to flee Gentarra Prime. We named her Allanora." She paused a moment to let that sink in. "She is innocent. As are the large majority of the crew, who do not even know what happened to us on Gentarra Prime. No one on this ship deserves death. You can stop this."

"I cannot," Prastin contradicted her wearily. "My crew's first loyalty is to Yegran. They could relieve me of duty, and destroy you anyway."

"I propose a little subterfuge," Kathryn said, with a gleam in her blue-gray eyes. Prastin looked at her for a long moment, but his face gave nothing away.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked.

* * *

Harry Kim and Elizabeth McKay strode down the corridor toward the Cargo Bay at a brisk pace. Harry's gait was slightly uneven, and he was beginning to tire, having trouble keeping up with the other ensign. He began visibly favoring his injured leg, and Elizabeth slowed down. 

"And just why aren't you in sickbay again?" Elizabeth asked, with a teasing note in her voice. The two had gotten to know each other during Gamma shifts together, in which Elizabeth manned Ops, and Harry had the conn. Their friendly camaraderie was easy to recover.

"I think I was bothering Kathryn and Chakotay," Harry said, a sheepish note in his voice. "I wanted to do something, and they wanted me to stop asking." Elizabeth's eyes darted over to Harry, at the mention of those two names, as if to see how okay he was with the situation.

His face appeared natural, but he noticed her glance. "I'm all right," he said, even though she hadn't asked. "Are you?" She smiled, a little self-deprecatingly, and nudged him in the upper arm with her shoulder.

"I will be." They walked in silence for the length of a section. "Were you… very upset? I mean, at first?" Her tone was hesitant.

"Well, yeah," Harry said slowly. "I was angry, thinking that she would throw away everything we had. I was afraid that being back on _Voyager _would change everything. I worried about how she felt about Chakotay when we were still on Gentarra. I was afraid that the only reason she was with me was because I was the only one around. She assured me that that wasn't true, but yesterday, I thought I had been proven right."

"Chakotay told me that – that she turned him down," Elizabeth noted. Harry's eyes glittered angrily at the thought of the former Maquis propositioning his wife.

"He had no right to ask," he said shortly.

"No, he didn't," Elizabeth agreed. "But isn't it better to have it all out in the open now, rather than just festering quietly?"

"I suppose," Harry said, and then looked at her suddenly, "So, are you and Chakotay…?" Elizabeth blushed a little, and shook her head.

"No, that is… we were, but – no. Not right now. He – he has some things to work out… before…" she trailed off. When she spoke again, her tone of voice was matter of fact. "Why did they put you down here with me?" she asked.

"Well, not because there are machinations going on. Even though that's clearly what you're thinking," Harry replied, with a smile.

"I am not," Elizabeth lied. Harry looked at her, one eyebrow raised. She looked away, and her cheeks flushed. "Okay, I admit it. I thought they might have put us down here on purpose. But really, with all this going on? They have more important things to worry about."

"I don't know," Harry said doubtfully. "You'd be amazed how adept Kathryn – Captain Janeway is at multitasking." A glimmer of pain flickered in Elizabeth's eyes for a moment at the mention of the captain.

"Killing two birds with one stone, huh?" Elizabeth said, and her tone was a little bitter. Harry looked at her in sympathy.

"She probably figures we'll talk," he agreed, "It'll all work out," he said, trying not to sound trite. "You'll see."

"That's easy for you to say," she exclaimed, trying to infuse her voice with humor, and halfway succeeding. "You won!"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way," Harry said, modestly.

"You would too!" Elizabeth genuinely laughed. "Look at you! Your head is practically swelling up right before my eyes. The male ego is truly a disgusting thing!"

Harry looked at her with a hurt expression, and mimed being shot in the heart. Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him.

"You hang out with Tom Paris way too much," she said. They entered the Cargo Bay, and looked with trepidation at the large storage drums sitting in the middle of the expansive room. Just adjacent to them, was an anti-grav cart, piled high with containers, all with glowing warning labels affixed.

"Well, there it is," Harry said, in somewhat of an understatement. They regarded the containers for a moment. "You ever worked with this before?"

"No, but I've heard about it," Elizabeth replied. "Are you _sure_ they aren't trying to get rid of us secretly?" she whispered with mock seriousness.

"Elizabeth!" Harry was trying to sound disapproving, but the laughter in his voice gave him away.

"Well, somebody has to pack tritanium resin into two 500 kilo drums, and which two people get picked from the entire crew?"

"They needed two people that they could trust, and that were available," Harry said succinctly. "We're it. Tuvok and Mike are going over tactical scenarios. B'Elanna's priming the engines for a cold-warp jump. Tom is practicing the maneuver that's going to get us out of this stuff's way, when Prastin blows it up."

"The Picard maneuver, right?" Elizabeth asked, picking up the first container delicately.

"Well, something like it anyway," Harry said, opening the first drum. "We eject this out of the cargo bay, just in time for Prastin to blow it to kingdom come, and at the same time jump to warp from a dead stop. Supposedly, it'll look like we exploded."

"Do you think it'll work? Assuming this doesn't blow us to smithereens now?" she asked. "Okay, I've got it here. Pull out the stabilization rod, and then press that button. The tank should drain down into the drum." Harry followed her instructions, and neither said anything else until the containment unit flashed green, signaling that it was empty.

"Next?" Harry asked, and Elizabeth pulled the next unit into position. "If it blows up now, nobody on _Voyager _will even know we made a mistake! But I think it might work. Chakotay suggested putting some garbage and spare parts in here before we blow the bay doors, for the simulation of debris." There was silence again while the second container drained. "I just can't believe Tom's going to do it blind."

"I always thought he was crazy," Elizabeth said, only half-joking. Harry grinned at her, and they got the third container ready to be emptied. Harry and Elizabeth had gravitated toward each other during those quiet night shifts, because their shy natures found each other unintimidating. She had never been able to understand Harry's odd-couple friendship with Tom, whose freewheeling ways and overzealous mouth, scared her to death. Silence. Monitoring. Green flash.

"He's the only one who could do it, that's for sure," Harry affirmed. "And if Prastin weren't helping us out with vector and timing, we wouldn't be able to do it at all, not after they've disabled the sensor array. Without the coordinates, we could end up in the core of a star or something!"

"I can't believe the captain is letting them do that," Elizabeth observed. Fourth tank drained. Green light. "Scan the drum," she said. Harry pulled out his tricorder, and ran a scan on the contents.

"It's stable," he said. "It's evidently standard procedure for the Gentarran military to disable sensors. Anyway, it beats the alternative," he added, referring to her earlier comment. "I guess it makes it more convincing that we exploded too, because who would use warp drive with no sensors? It's never good to fly blind, but it's better than getting blown the hell up by the Gentarrans." Elizabeth wordlessly conceded his point.

Fifth tank.

* * *

Tension on the bridge was high, as the crew of _Voyager_ prepared to begin their performance. All they could hope now is that Prastin would stick to the script, and that they wouldn't be inadvertently destroyed in the process. Kathryn stood ramrod straight to the left of the captain's chair, having refused both Chakotay's and Tuvok's offers of their chairs. 

"I haven't been reinstated yet," she said calmly. "You are the two ranking officers on the ship. I'll stand."

Elizabeth was back at Ops. Harry was down in the cargo bay, with Joe Carey, packing it full of every kind of disposable flotsam they could locate. The doctor had reluctantly given them DNA, with permission of course, so that the _Allanora_ would be able to locate human "remains".

Kathryn felt a headache beginning above her ears. She stood at perfect parade rest, and let her mind drift to Alli, safely down in sickbay with the EMH. She missed her baby. It was hard to believe that they had only contacted _Voyager_ yesterday. And now the _Renaissance _was gone. She recalled the searing moment of fear that had sliced through her like a bat'leth, watching the _Renaissance _diminished into particles.

_If I ever had doubts about whether or not I loved Harry, they were certainly put to rest this morning, when I thought…I thought…_she could not even allow herself to approach that concept, and left the thought unarticulated. She was frustrated with herself. _How can I do this? How can I order him on an away mission if I'm paralyzed the entire time with fear that he won't come back?_ _This is why I didn't want to get involved with Chakotay either_, she thought angrily. _It makes you weak._

She was jolted out of her musings by a hail from Elizabeth's console. Chakotay nodded at her gravely. It was time for the play to begin.

"This is Captain Prastin of the _Allanora_," Prastin began coldly without preamble. "We have contacted Gentarra Prime. It is the order of the Gentarran government that your ship be destroyed. You have knowingly harbored criminals, and kept treasonous documents of State secrets in your computer database. For these –"

Chakotay ordered the commlink severed with one wave of his hand.

"Get us out of here, Paris," he ordered abruptly. "Maximum warp!"

Over on the _Allanora_, the helmsman shouted suddenly to Prastin, "Captain, they're powering up their warp engines!"

"Activate the sensor disabler," Prastin said immediately. An orange beam was emitted by the Gentarran ship, which diffused mistily through _Voyager_'s shields, illuminating them momentarily. _Voyager _wheeled about erratically, and shuddered to a halt.

"Their sensors are offline," the operations officer said with satisfaction. "It will take them hours to repair their array."

"Regrettably, they will be unable to complete the repairs," Prastin said darkly. "Bring the ship about."

"Our sensors are offline," Elizabeth announced calmly, as the viewscreen winked off. They were now completely helpless, having no sensor readings and no idea where the _Allanora _was.

"Kim to bridge," Harry's voice sounded tinny from his locating in the echoing chamber of the cargo bay. "The _Allanora _is moving into position behind us. I can see them through the bay doors. They're lining up for a direct shot to our warp core."

"Are you ready?" Chakotay asked.

"We're in position to depressurize the cargo bay on your mark," Harry replied, as they moved outside the bay, exchanging a significant look with Lieutenant Carey. It was now or never.

"They're in position," Carey said.

"You've got 10 seconds," Ayala put in.

"B'Elanna, are you ready?" Chakotay asked quickly.

"Aye, sir," B'Elanna responded from her post in Engineering.

"Tom?"

"We're pointed in the right direction, sir," Tom said briskly.

"3…2… mark," Ayala replied. Harry released the forcefield in the cargo bay, watching through the clear panel in the double doors. The contents of the cargo bay had barely cleared the ship, when a green particle beam lanced out from the _Allanora_.

"Now!" Chakotay thundered. Tom engaged the warp drive to full throttle, as a huge explosion flickered through the viewports of _Voyager. _There was a terrifying jolt, and _Voyager_ veered to one side, and shook under the punishing speeds.

"I'm losing the warp field!" B'Elanna called from Engineering.

"We've got a hull breech," Elizabeth said, speaking almost on top of B'Elanna. She studied her readout for a moment. "It's near the cargo bay."

"That jolt the second before we went to warp…the tritanium resin must have detonated too close to the ship. I'm going to have to shut it down!" B'Elanna said, intensely.

Chakotay looked at Tom, questioningly. Paris shook his head.

"We've got to stay at this speed for 19 more seconds, or we won't end up where we're supposed to."

"Hold it together for as long as you can, B'Elanna," Chakotay instructed.

"I'll try rerouting…" her voice was lost in a mumble, as alarms started to wail. She began shouting at her engineering team, and closed the comm.

Klaxons began to wail on the bridge, as well. Ayala and McKay's hands flew over their respective consoles. _Voyager_ began to vibrate, and Kathryn struggled to stay on her feet. Stars streaked by at dizzying speeds.

"Captain!" B'Elanna said urgently.

"Four more seconds!" Tom interrupted.

"I'm shutting it down now!" B'Elanna didn't wait for an okay, and the engines thrummed to a stop. There was a moment of silence as the crew quietly waited to see if some disaster waited.

"Put all reserve power to the shields," Chakotay instructed. "Get those sensors back online, before anything happens. Kathryn, can you go down and check on Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Carey?"

Kathryn nodded and headed for the turbolift. It did not escape her notice that he had carefully phrased his request as a question, not an order. Nor did she miss the fact that anyone could have contacted them with a communicator. She appreciated the opportunity to get away and check on Harry…and Alli… now that _Voyager_ was out of immediate danger.

* * *

Kathryn ran into Harry and Joe halfway between the bridge and the cargo bay. They were dirty and scratched up, but appeared none the worse for the wear. Harry was somewhat pale, and he was visibly limping. Concern flashed in Kathryn's eyes, and she moved toward him, but checked herself at the presence of Lieutenant Carey. 

"Are you both all right?" she asked, solicitously including both of them in her glance. The two men nodded, and Harry did not miss the formality in her demeanor and stance. "You look like you need to be in sickbay, at least to let the Doctor check you out."

It was a testament to Harry's fatigue that he didn't argue with her about it, and by the time they reached Sickbay, he was leaning heavily on both her and Joe. Kathryn had adroitly avoided the searching glances Harry was sending her, and didn't say much on the rest of the walk.

Sickbay was crowded with minor injuries, as well as one of B'Elanna's engineers who had suffered some plasma burns when a console exploded. Ensign Wildman was assisting the EMH, as Tom's piloting skills were still needed on the bridge.

"Doctor, can I get a dermal regenerator and a analgesic?" Kathryn asked over the din. The Doctor shouted their location, and Kathryn abandoned Joe, pulling Harry around to the semi-privacy of the Doctor's office. "I'll be right back." She cornered Ensign Wildman, and told her that Joe had hit his head, but appeared okay, and found the medical items she had mentioned.

"How do you feel?" She asked, worry creasing her forehead. She smoothed his hair back from his face with one hand. He captured her hand and kissed her palm.

"I've had better days. My leg is killing me," he grimaced, flexing and extending the offending limb.

"You've done too much on it today. You should've rested," she said, injecting him with the pain reliever. "I shouldn't have let you go down –"

"Hey," Harry interrupted gently. "I was glad to do something. I wouldn't have had it any other way." He reached up to caress her face, and she shied away from his hand. He dropped his hand, bewilderment and anger washing across his features. "Kathryn, what's wrong?" She was running the dermal regenerator over the cut on his forehead.

"Nothing. I just – I just – people might see," she mumbled, embarrassed with herself, even as the words came out of her mouth.

"I see," Harry said flatly, his lips narrowing into a thin line. There was a moment of silence. The regenerator whirred softly. Then, they spoke simultaneously, their words tumbling out in a rush.

"Is it always going to be like this?" he asked.

"I don't know if I can do this," she said. They looked at each other with a strange combination of disbelief and anguish. Silent tension stretched out for an infinite, agonizing moment.

"You don't know if you can do what?" Harry asked slowly.

"_This_," she gestured back and forth between them. "On the ship. While I'm in command. I don't think I can handle it. I can't even handle it now."

"You don't think you can _handle_ it?" Unmistakable anger was in Harry's voice.

"It's why I didn't want to get involved with Chakotay…before Gentarra Prime. If you get too attached, too involved…it interferes with your ability to make command decisions." Her voice was low and intense.

"Kathryn, that's bullshit," Harry said evenly, his calm tone belying the ire simmering beneath his words. "If that were true, starship captains would be forbidden to have long-term relationships."

"Today, when the _Renaissance _exploded, I went numb. I thought you were onboard, and I nearly stopped functioning. Then in sickbay, as soon as Chakotay called for me, I had to leave you there. What kind of life is that for you? That's not fair to you."

Harry laughed mirthlessly. "Don't do that, Kathryn. Don't play the unselfish martyr, pretending you're doing this all for me. Chakotay might have bought it, but I don't!" She flinched as if she had been slapped.

His voice had risen during his last sentence, and it rang out loud and clear in the crowded sickbay. The lull of silence lasted only a moment, and then the murmur resumed, somewhat louder than before, as everyone tried their hardest to look uninterested in the captain fighting with her husband. Kathryn writhed in embarrassment.

Before Harry could say another word, Kathryn had snatched up Alli and slipped quickly and quietly out of the room.

* * *

Gamma shift was more than half over before most of the crew on Alpha shift finally went off duty. They had been working around the clock to get the sensors online and recalibrated. Chakotay strolled the corridors, allowing himself a moment of relaxation, now that the bridge officer currently on duty had informed him that they expected sensors to be back up within the hour. 

As he rounded the corner, nearing his quarters, he saw Harry Kim walking in the corridor, trying to look like he hadn't been there long. Their eyes met, and slid away from each other, uncomfortably.

Chakotay stopped at the doors to his quarters, and was punching in his personal code, when he looked up again. Harry was still walking, almost pacing, outside the captain's quarters.

"Is there something wrong, Ensign?" Chakotay asked, almost unwillingly.

"No," Harry lied badly. "Thank you, sir, for your concern." There was another awkward moment of silence. Harry slanted a look upward, and saw Chakotay still standing there. _Why won't he go inside?_ the younger man wondered desperately.

"Do you want to come in?" Chakotay ventured, gesturing toward the open door with one hand. Harry looked like he would rather be beaten with Klingon pain sticks, but he followed Chakotay in, throwing one backward glance at Kathryn's door.

"Do you want something to drink?" Chakotay asked, once they were inside, wondering if they were going to be able to hold a conversation at all.

"Whatever you're having is fine," Harry said absently. Chakotay ordered two glasses of iced herbal tea. Harry studied the sprig of mint in his glass, sipped the tea, and said nothing.

"Is…there something troubling you, Ensign?" Chakotay initiated again, beginning to become annoyed with both Mr. Kim and himself.

Harry scoffed. "Yes, but, believe me, you aren't going to want to talk about it."

_Kathryn_, Chakotay thought. He was hardly surprised.

"I am an adult, Ensign Kim. And one of my functions on _Voyager_ has been to be a ship's Counselor of sorts. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to talk to me."

"Even if it's about my wife?" Harry asked bluntly, using the phrase guaranteed to cause the most discomfort.

"Even that, Ensign," Chakotay said, restraining a wince, and looking Harry dead in the eyes. _I know exactly what you're doing_, the glance said.

"Kathryn's having second thoughts…again," Harry added the last word after a beat. For his part, Chakotay continued to be amazed at how painful Harry's mere statement of her name could be. "She's worried that her involvement with me will interfere with her ability to make the tough decisions."

"Why do you think she's saying that now?" Chakotay asked. Harry looked at him in askance for a moment, as if surprised that Chakotay was acting professionally.

"I'm assuming it was because of the _Renaissance_ exploding this morning, and the breech down by the cargo bay. She kind of let it all loose on me in sickbay. She even gave me some line about how it wasn't fair to me that the ship would always be first, when she was in command."

"Standard Kathryn Janeway evasion tactics," Chakotay snorted. "She's scared."

"Why?" Harry burst out in frustration. "Does she really think that little of me? Of the crew? Is there anyone aboard _Voyager_ who would begrudge her happiness?" He stopped abruptly, and looked quickly over at Chakotay.

"No, there is no one who would begrudge Kathryn anything, including me," Chakotay said, somewhat dryly. "She is afraid of herself." There was a short silence. "Every time Kathryn has opened herself up, she has gotten hurt. Has she told you about Justin?"

"Yeah," Harry said slowly. "One night, on Gentarra, she told me about him. I think it was the anniversary of his death."

"It devastated her. Took her years to get over it. I used to think sometime that she'd rather be miserable and lonely for the rest of her life, than risk that happening again."

"So she's afraid of having to send me to my death?"

"She's afraid of that, of looking less like captain, of feeling less like a captain, of _acting_ less like a captain."

"What do I do to make her unafraid?" Harry asked seriously, meeting Chakotay's gaze steadily. Chakotay felt a rush of admiration for the younger man, as his love for Kathryn and his dedication to their relationship became apparent in that one, seemingly innocuous sentence.

"You're going to have to give her what she needs. If she needs to look professional, even in the mess hall, while off-duty, you're going to have to do that for her. I think, she'll unbend once she gets used to balancing both aspects of her life," Chakotay said. "You'll have to be patient."

"Like you were?" Harry asked, not unkindly. Chakotay looked at him in surprise, and nearly laughed.

"I suppose so, yes," he said. "But you have an advantage that I didn't have."

"What's that?"

"She chose you," Chakotay said simply. "You might not have been on _Voyager _at the time, but that doesn't change the fact that she chose you." Harry shifted around in his chair, uncomfortably, the half-melted ice clinking lightly in his nearly empty glass.

"Chakotay, I'm s—" Harry began, unsure of what exactly should be said. Chakotay held up one hand to stop him.

"You owe me no apology, Ensign," he said sincerely. Harry looked like he wanted to say something else, but Chakotay forestalled him. "Go on and talk to your wife."

TBC 

**Next Chapter: Denouement**

**Thanks for all the reviews. I guess it's good that people are reading my story, even if not everyone likes it. Hopefully, the characters got more faceted. I have more plans for Elizabeth, and as you can see, _nobody_ died.**


	10. Denouement

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.

**AN: **The reason I haven't said one way or another whether or not this fic is J/C is partly because I didn't want to give it away, and partly because I didn't know whether it would be J/C or not at first. I do know now, but I'd really rather not say (although I'm really not sure it's such a secret!).

**Denouement**

Chakotay sighed heavily, and reclined back into the cushions of his sofa, as Harry exited his quarters. He closed his eyes and let the fatigue wash over him in swamping waves. He was tired. As if the battle with the Gentarran ship had not been enough, there was the emotional turmoil of Kathryn's return. He had barely been able to acknowledge it since it happened, and wasn't really sure he wanted to.

_I need to fold it away, pack it up, and move on_, he thought, and smiled ironically. _How easy to say…_ He wondered idly what Elizabeth was doing, and was rewarded with a paroxysm of guilt somewhere in his gut. _She doesn't deserve this, and I certainly don't deserve her. She didn't even get mad. That might have made me feel a little less horrible. _A thought struck him. _Kathryn would have gotten mad_. He smiled a little at the idea. He had been on the receiving end of her red-headed temper a few times – sometimes not even the trigger for the temper, but just a convenient target. She had never thrown anything in front of him, but he had been waiting for the day when she did.

Elizabeth was reticent and shy, disliking the center of attention. Her temper was mild, if she had one, and she was more likely to try and see what motivated the other person and empathize with them. She was highly intelligent, but not necessarily ambitious, and didn't appear to have command aspirations. She spoke several languages, and played the piano. She also loved to cook, but was a bit of a klutz, especially if she was nervous.

But, like Kathryn, Elizabeth had a Starfleet pedigree, excelled in science, and was quite a competent engineer as well. They were both somewhat insecure socially, and were uncomfortable at large gatherings, albeit probably for different reasons. They had a few similarities, but Chakotay could not understand why he was reminded so strongly of Kathryn when he looked at Elizabeth.

He stood, stretched the kinks out of his back, and put the discarded glasses in the recycler. He should be sleeping, as he had Alpha shift bridge duty in the morning, but his mind was moving at high impulse, and refused to be slowed.

"Computer," he said, abruptly, almost with no forethought, "locate Ensign McKay."

"Ensign McKay is in Holodeck One," the computer said in its placid way.

This gave him pause. She had been on duty as long as he, and had duty in the morning as well. She had been under a similar emotional duress. _Why is she in the holodeck?_ He wondered, even as he acknowledged that it was none of his damn business.

_Go to bed, Chakotay, _a voice told him._ Go to bed, get some sleep, and try not to think of anything for eight hours…especially not the woman you once thought you were destined for._ He squelched his thoughts firmly from continuing in that vein, as his body disobeyed his mind, and headed out of his quarters.

* * *

Upon leaving Chakotay's quarters, Harry walked next door and keyed in the code. The rooms were dim, and Harry wondered momentarily if Kathryn were even there. Then he heard her voice, hushed and soft, her words unintelligible.

She was talking to Alli.

He walked softly over to the door between the living and sleeping areas, with part of his mind shrieking incongruously, _this is the Captain's bedroom!_ She was sitting in the corner, curled up in a small gliding rocker, cradling Alli close. Kathryn was speaking low and earnestly, with Alli blinking back up at her with luminous dark eyes. Harry felt his heart clench almost painfully with love for both of them.

"Alli, sweet precious baby, Mama loves you so very much. I wish you knew how much. Your daddy loves you too, so much, and we're going to do everything we can to make you happy. You're so easy to make happy, baby girl, and I wish it were that easy for everyone else to be happy." Kathryn sighed, and stared out the viewport for a moment. She kissed the backs of Alli's fingers. "You are so beautiful. I can't believe we made you. I don't deserve this. I don't –"

"Yes, you do," Harry said, interrupting, and walking over to her. She started, and looked up at the sound of his voice. He could see the shine of her eyes in the dusky light of the room. Alli craned her neck in his direction, and smiled toothlessly in recognition. He couldn't help but smile back, and gave her a finger to chew. She grasped his finger tightly in her fist, and squealed. "She loves you, Kathryn. And I love you. Don't ever think that you're unworthy of that love."

"I don't know if I can do it, Harry," she said, honestly. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to balance, afraid that one part of my life, either my family or this ship, is going to get the short end of the stick."

"I'm concerned about that too," Harry told her. "I'm worried about this being awkward and uncomfortable, I'm worried about where Alli will be when we're up on the bridge. I worry about putting her in danger, or _you_ being in danger. I don't think anyone is promised a relationship free from worry."

"What do you think?" she asked him.

"About what?"

"Do you think I can do it…balance everything in my life?"

"I think _we_ can," Harry said, meaningfully, and smiled at her. Kathryn felt her heart begin to melt. Why was it so easy for him to change her moods? _Because you're in love with him_, a voice inside whispered. She smiled, and said with a half-laugh, half-sob,

"I hope so." Harry felt his spirit soar at her words, and knew then that she was going to give them a chance. He leaned over the arm of the glider, and kissed her tenderly.

"I talked to Chakotay," Harry said casually, watching Kathryn's face closely. She tensed up a little, and looked at him guardedly.

"When?" she asked.

"Just now," he replied.

"What for?"

"He saw me wandering around the corridor outside like I was lost, and invited me in to talk."

"What did you talk about?" she wondered. He looked at her for a long moment, saying nothing. "Oh."

"He's a pretty good ship's counselor," Harry admitted. Kathryn felt an urge to ask him what Chakotay said, but she restrained herself.

"I just want you to know," Harry continued, "that you don't have to be afraid, but if you ever are, you can talk to me about it. I love you, and I'm willing to do as much as it takes to make this work. I'm going to be there for you, right beside you, always."

"Thank you," she said softly, thinking briefly about Chakotay's "angry warrior" speech that mirrored this one of Harry's, and wondering what she had done to merit the love of two such remarkable men.

"And as for the crew," Harry mentioned, "I think you'll find them more than satisfied that you have a family. It may not have been with whom they expected, but they are happy for you. I think Neelix is planning a little something in a couple of days, but you're not supposed to know."

"How do you know all this?" she asked, in mock dismay.

"Tom and B'Elanna still tell me things. Although they may be the only gossip channels I have left, now that I'm married to you!"

"Just marrying me ruined your status on the grapevine?"

"Are you kidding?" Harry laughed. "I'm sharing a bed with the captain! Nobody's going to say _anything_ in front of me ever again!"

* * *

Chakotay stopped in front of the double doors that led to the holodeck. He reached one hand up to tap the control that would open the door, but checked it. Then he reached again and checked again. Reach. Check. He looked around, but it was the middle of the night, and the corridor was deserted. He was glad. _If I'm going to make a fool out of myself, at least I don't have an audience._

He glanced at the program she was running, but it said only 'McKay Seven' and gave nothing away. He felt like a voyeur. He turned to go, but spun on his heel and found himself back in front of the closed doors.

He reached his hand up one more time, and his finger quickly made contact with the panel, before he had time to retract it again. Evidently she had not engaged the privacy lock, because the doors hissed open, and light spilled out into the corridor.

He stepped through the doors, to find himself standing on a highly polished wood floor. There were mirrors and gauzy curtains everywhere, and somewhere, a haunting melody played on something that sounded like a flute.

He stepped back reflexively, as he saw Elizabeth, but he needn't have worried. Her eyes were closed, as she danced. She was clad in a simple black leotard, her hair swept up on top of her head, and she stood gracefully _en pointe_. The music swelled to a crescendo, as she stepped and twirled, her arms arching above her head.

She was beautiful, ethereal. Chakotay stood entranced. When the music died down, Elizabeth ended the routine, but stood, still balanced on her toes, staring off into the distance, for a long moment. Chakotay became increasingly aware that he was intruding, when she signed, flopped down onto the soles of her feet, and began unlacing her toe shoes.

He cleared his throat, and stepped forward from the shadows of the curtains. She looked up, alarmed, and stumbled sideways before catching herself. Her face flamed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"How long have you been here?" she said, her voice breathless.

"I just saw the end of your dance," he paused a moment, searching for words. "It was – you were – exquisite.

Her lashes fluttered a little at the intensity of his voice, but she wouldn't look at him.

"Thank you, sir," she said, reminding him of the distance he'd put between them, by speaking formally.

"I didn't know that you knew ballet," he said conversationally. She finished untying her shoes, and removed them, placing them back in her bag.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, sir," she replied.

_Touché_, he thought ironically. _And less than I deserve._

"I never said I didn't want to learn," his voice was gentle. Her eyes flashed fire then, as she quickly glanced up and met his eyes.

"With all due respect, sir, yes, you did." Her voice continued to be formal. Chakotay decided not to pursue that route, thankful that she was, for the moment, still talking to him.

"When did you start dancing?" he asked, trying to find an innocuous subject.

Elizabeth sat down on a small bench, and threw a towel around her neck. She took a swig from a small bottle of water before she spoke.

"When I was thirteen, I was in a bad accident… two transports collided leaving the colony on Mars," she began. "I was injured, most of the damage was to the nerves in my spine, and the doctors didn't think I'd walk again." She attempted a smile. "But I did. Ballet was one of my forms of physical therapy. At first I hated it, and my mother had to make me go to practices."

"But now you'd be lost without it," Chakotay observed. Elizabeth looked up it, startled at his perceptiveness, and he smiled. "It's written all over your face, your movements when you dance, that you love it. It's easy to see."

She shrugged, a little self-deprecatingly, and murmured thanks.

"The two transports," Chakotay said, as a thought occurred to him, "were they the _Pacifica _and the… the…" he groped for the name, as Elizabeth nodded.

"The _Capricorn_," she finished, looking a little misty. "The pilot of the _Capricorn_ was my brother… Darren. He – he was killed…in the accident."

Chakotay nodded, sympathy etching his features. That accident had made headlines across the Federation, as well as prompting outcry about the way the ancient Mars station was designed.

"I – I – " Elizabeth stammered, obviously not really paying attention to him anymore. "I was in one of the front seats, just outside the cockpit, so I could – could go see him, if I – and – when the _Pacifica_ hit us, there was this explosion – and the bulkhead – I was pinned." Tears brimmed over and spilled out of her eyes, and she tried to dash them away with one hand, embarrassed. "I could hear my brother s-s-screaming, as the cockpit burned, and I couldn't – I couldn't – I was pinned," she repeated again, as if to make him believe her.

"Hey, hey, sshh," Chakotay soothed, reaching out one hand to stroke her arm. She jumped a little, as if realizing once again where she was and to whom she was talking.

_It makes sense now,_ he mused, _the thing about her that seems so like Kathryn. It's tragedy, survivor's guilt. They both witnessed the death of someone close to them, while powerless to do anything to stop it._

She relaxed against him for a moment, and then sat up abruptly, her cheeks burning. "I'm sorry – I'm sorry, sir," she said quickly, throwing the rest of her things in her bag.

"Sorry? For what?" Chakotay asked. "I'm the one who came in here, bothered you, asked you questions, and got you upset." She smiled a little at the chagrin in his voice.

"Why did you come down here?" she asked, forgetting to add the 'sir'.

"We had a long day, and I wanted to see how you were holding up. I was surprised to see you in the holodeck instead of asleep," Chakotay said. There was a glint in her eyes, like she wasn't buying what he was saying.

"I guess you're checking on everybody then," she said, trying to repress a smile. "That's going to take a while." Chakotay paused for a moment, trying to decide whether to protest, laugh off her remarks, or change the subject.

"I wanted to see you," he said suddenly, opting for the direct approach. The flush raced up Elizabeth's neck to flood her face. Her lips trembled a little, but she did not speak. They gazed at each other for a moment, the moment suspended between them fragile and tenuous, yet nearly tangible. At that one instant of time, there were all the possibilities in the universe, and they both knew it.

* * *

Three days later, _Voyager_ initiated orbit around an uninhabited planet, and prepared to properly welcome back her erstwhile captain and Ops officer. There was a small rotation of officers ready to man the bridge, with strict instructions to contact Commander Tuvok, should the need arise.

Kathryn was anxiously preparing for the fete. The one formal gown that still hung in her closet didn't fit, and she was trying not to get upset about it.

"Why can't I just wear my uniform?" she complained.

"We're not members of the crew yet. And you're gonna have seventy years to wear that uniform," came Harry's rejoinder from the lavatory, where he was completing his relatively simple toilette.

"That's easy for you to say. You look fabulous," she grumped, eying his slimly muscled form and broad shoulders, encased nicely in black pants and midnight blue shirt.

"Thank you for the compliment," Harry said, his eyebrows raised at the tone, in which it was given. "You've replicated a new dress, and it's very pretty. So what's wrong?"

"I can't wear that one," she pointed. "And I hate playing dress-up."

"You're nursing an infant," Harry reasoned. "And I think you just like hiding in your uniform." She glowered at him. Harry just grinned at her, and went to get Alli.

"Did you replicate the stroller?" he asked.

"It's folded up by her crib," she answered, grabbing a handful of silver hair clips, and stomping over to the mirror. A few short minutes later, she was ready to go, looking absolutely stunning in a deep coral dress made of something like chiffon.

"I'm going to be the envy of every guy in the room," Harry said, looking stunned. Kathryn smiled at his words, but they stung a little. _At least one, anyway_, she thought. _I hope Chakotay's going to be okay, now that the crisis is over._

The holodeck had been transformed to be the city of San Francisco, right on Starfleet HQ's quad. There was a huge white-canopied tent, full of small intimate tables, low lighting, and a dance floor. A band played unobtrusively at one end. Most of the crew had opted for civilian formalwear, although a few had shown up in their dress uniforms. As captain, Chakotay was one of the latter. Elizabeth had arrived alone, looking delicately pretty in a pink so pale that it was almost white, but had already made unobtrusive eye contact with _Voyager_'s leader.

When Kathryn and Harry entered the holodeck, the crew broke into a spontaneous ovation, with cheers and whistles and huzzahs punctuating the applause. They both smiled, but looked slightly overwhelmed by the adulation. They were swamped and swept away from each other by excited crewmembers, and were only able to speak briefly when Kathryn retrieved a fussy Alli from Harry.

Kathryn spent a majority of her time reacquainting herself with her crew, who seemed, to a man, ecstatic to have her back. There were careful and solicitous inquiries about Harry and the baby, and while much of the crew appeared a little surprised by the news, no one seemed to disapprove.

She had just finished talking to Ensign Wallace from Engineering, and was headed to the punch bowl to refill her glass, when a low voice rumbled behind her.

"Are you about ready to take center stage?" It was Chakotay. She turned slowly to see him, looking resplendent in his dress uniform. "You look lovely," he added, his tone sincere, but obviously trying to stay light.

"Thank you. What about center stage?"

"Well, you knew you were going to have to make a speech, right?" he teased. "And there's a little ceremony we'd like to do." He was right about her expecting a speech; she had. But she eyed him suspiciously at the last part of his statement. _What ceremony?_

Chakotay had already retrieved Harry, who was standing by the base of the dais, holding Alli, waiting for them to arrive. She looked nervously at Harry, who put his hand at the small of her back, and whispered reassuringly in her ear. Chakotay moved to the center of the platform, tapped his communicator, and requested that his voice be amplified.

"May I have your attention please?" he asked. The murmur of conversation stilled, and the music faded into silence. "I know you are as thrilled as I am to welcome Kathryn Janeway and Harry Kim back onboard _Voyager_!" This was as far as he got before the cheering and applause began again, and it went on for so long that Kathryn felt herself turning red.

"They have expressed the desire to stay onboard, and be reinstated as part of this crew," Chakotay continued. Kathryn felt her heart began to pound. They had not discussed exactly what was going to happen. She felt guilty stepping in and demoting Chakotay when he had obviously led the crew so ably in the last 2 and a half years. Harry had expressed a similar feeling about causing Elizabeth McKay to be removed from her current post.

"I am happy to reinstate Harry Kim as a member of _Voyager_'s crew," there were some isolated cheers, probably from Tom and B'Elanna, and Chakotay spoke over them. "As my last official act as _Voyager_'s captain," he continued, looking significantly at Kathryn, "I hereby promote Ensign Harry Kim to Lieutenant junior-grade."

Harry looked up in shock, and the crowd went wild. He could hear Tom's voice clearly, hoarsely shouting, "It's about damn time!" Chakotay smiled at Kathryn, and handed her a small silver box.

"Would you like to do the honors?" he asked. Kathryn's eyes were awash with tears, and she murmured inaudible thanks. She took the box from his hand, and opened it to reveal j.g. pips. She turned it toward Harry, and presented it to him formally.

"Now don't you wish we'd worn our uniforms?" she teased him, smiling, with swimming eyes. "I am so proud of you," she whispered, her voice threatening to break.

"And now, I, Captain Chakotay of the Federation starship _Voyager_, hereby resume my previous rank of Commander, and relinquish command of _Voyager_ to Captain Kathryn Janeway. Authorization Chakotay delta 242," Chakotay said, standing straight and speaking formally.

"Voiceprint command request acknowledged," came the flat voice of the computer.

"Computer, who is the senior officer aboard _Voyager_?" Chakotay queried, his eyes twinkling.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway is the senior officer…" the computer began, but the rest was drowned out in cheers and whistles. Kathryn laughed, obviously blinking back tears, and stepped forward to speak. The crew grew quiet.

"You have no idea what it means to us to be home," she said simply. "And we are home, even though we are still thousands of light-years away from Earth. That was brought home to me more than anything while we were stranded. I really didn't think of Earth with as much loss and regret, as I thought of you." She gazed out over the sea of faces. "I am so pleased and grateful at how you've accepted me – and my family – " she darted a glance at Harry and Alli, "so wholly back into yours." She bit her lip, and looked quickly up at Chakotay. "You have my word that I will lead this crew to the best of my ability, and I will continue to further the journey back to our other home." She finished somewhat formally, and stepped back, looking at Chakotay for whatever finale he had planned.

"Neelix," Chakotay said, "bring out the cake." Two crewmembers held a tent flap open, while Neelix and two others brought in a towering, white-tiered cake. There were two figurines perched atop it. Kathryn looked at it, realization dawning, and looked back at Chakotay, almost accusingly. "We didn't get to see Kathryn and Harry get married," Chakotay said, with relatively little strain evident in his voice. "So we hope you don't mind, if this party also serves as a kind of reception." He watched Kathryn hopefully, as if gauging her reaction.

"Thank you very much," Kathryn said sincerely, and they made their way back down the floor to cut the cake. "The promotion, the cake, the reception…you didn't have to do this," she hissed at Chakotay, as they walked.

"I know," her first officer said simply.

* * *

"May I have this dance?" Chakotay asked, holding out his hand toward a seated Elizabeth. The wedding cake had been cut up and dispersed, and dancing had resumed. Kathryn and Harry sat at a small table, chatting quietly with Tom and B'Elanna. Tom was holding a limp, soundly sleeping Alli in the crook of his arm. The party was beginning to thin out somewhat.

She looked at him guardedly, and slowly put her hand in his.

"You look beautiful tonight. That color suits you," Chakotay said, conversationally, as they made their way out on to the dance floor.

"Thank you, sir," she said, biting her lower lip.

"Are we back to that again?" he asked gently. "After.."

"You're the one who said you weren't fit for a relationship. _You're_ the one who said you needed time." Her voice was angry. "I'm trying to give you that. I told you I would. You're the one who keeps…keeps…being around!"

"I know, but I - " Chakotay faltered, stepping smoothly with the music. How could he explain his feelings to her, when he wasn't really sure of them himself? Had he changed his mind about pursuing a relationship with her? Was he just that lonely? Was he giving himself enough time to deal with his lost chance with Kathryn? He wasn't sure.

"Chakotay, I said I loved you that night in your quarters, and I meant it," she said firmly, pulling confidence out of some deep place within her soul. "But I will not be someone you are settling for. I will not be someone who will do _in a pinch_!" Her voice snapped on the last phrase.

"I wouldn't do that to you," Chakotay protested. _But aren't you?_ He asked himself. "When I spoke with Kathryn the first day she came back, she pointed out that I had already begun to let go of her." He smiled ruefully. "I didn't believe her, but I think maybe she was right."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her, placing one hand lightly over her lips.

"I didn't say I was ready. All I know is that I like being around you, I enjoy your company. I hope that we can still… spend time together, and see where it leads." Chakotay watched her carefully. "I know I don't deserve it, but – "

"I can deal with that," she interrupted, flushing slightly.

"You are – amazing," he said, embarrassed, but grateful that she thought that much of him.

"I know. I think I've handled myself pretty well. Losing my job, losing my…" she trailed off, smiling sheepishly and blushing anew.

"Do you always blush so easily?" Chakotay teased her, watching her fair skin pink even further.

"Stop it!" she protested, smothering a smile, and not meeting his eyes.

"You're not losing your job," Chakotay interjected suddenly. She looked at him again, a question in her green eyes.

"Harry's going to take Beta shift most of the time, and Kathryn will have Alpha shift. That way, someone can …"

"…stay with the baby," Elizabeth finished for him. Chakotay remembered how Kathryn and Harry finished each other's sentences in the conference room. For some reason, that memory filled him with a hope for their future.

Kathryn glanced at the couple dancing from time to time. Their stance appeared tense at first, but then they seemed to relax, and Kathryn saw them laughing. She smiled then, and was genuinely happy for her best friend.

_I could have been happy with him_, she acknowledged to herself. Then she looked over at Harry, protesting furiously against some needling from Tom and B'Elanna. Alli shifted in Tom's arms, and her eyes begin to blink open.

"See what you did!" was Harry's withering response. Kathryn couldn't help but smile. _But I **am** happy with Harry._ She watched Chakotay and Elizabeth dance, watched Harry gently extricate Alli from Tom's arms, watched B'Elanna lean back tiredly in her chair, absently stroking her stomach.

_It's going to be an interesting voyage home,_ she thought.

**TBC**

**Epilogue!**


	11. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing a swing on Paramount's playground.

**AN: **I just thought I would tag this on, because it was cute and it brings everything full circle. I hope you have enjoyed reading my story as much as I have enjoyed creating it!

**Epilogue**

The young woman lay on the biobed in sickbay, her dark hair streaming off of the edges. Her face was damp with sweat, and contorted with effort. She was breathing heavily. The EMH was monitoring her, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"You're fully dilated. Are you ready to push?" he asked her. She panted something incomprehensible in an alien language.

"Yes, you can," her companion said gently, holding her hand. "Just a little longer." Her eyes slid closed, and she appeared to muster up courage from somewhere within herself.

"Okay, let's go," she rasped. The man standing beside her brushed back damp hair from her brow. The doctor dismantled the end of the biobed, unfolding stirrups, and gently placing her feet in them.

"Try to push through a count of ten," he instructed. She nodded, her eyes fixed on her companion.

"Come on, honey," he murmured encouragingly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back. Her smile was tired. The doctor told her to push, and began to count. Her jaw clenched, and veins stood out in her slender neck.

"Nine…ten," the doctor said. She flopped back onto the biobed, her eyes closed, her body limp. "Let's do another one." She pulled herself up, swearing at him. The EMH appeared unfazed by the remark.

"Kathryn!" said a shocked voice in the doctor's office.

"I didn't teach her to talk like that!" Captain Kathryn Janeway said, looking defensively at her husband, who had lobbed the accusation. Harry Kim brushed silvering hair back from his forehead, and looked skeptical.

"Where else would she learn how to swear in Gentarran?" He asked her with eyebrows raised.

Kathryn said nothing, knowing she could only further incriminate herself.

"It shouldn't be much longer," said Tom, poking his head around the corner, sometime later. "She's doing fine." He disappeared as quickly as he had come, hurrying back to assist the EMH.

"I wish we could go in there," came a wistful voice from a chair in the corner.

"All of us?" Chakotay snorted, in response to his wife's comment. "The doctor would rather have his emitter shot out of a torpedo tube."

"How do you think Darren is holding up?" Kathryn asked Chakotay.

"I talked to him last night. He was really nervous, but determined to be strong for Alli."

"Just like his father, huh?" Kathryn asked, her eyes misting a little.

"Stay with me, Crewman," they heard the doctor's strident tone, and all froze. "One more good push, and this will all be over." The officers in the doctor's office edged cautiously toward the doorway.

"Come on, Alli. Sit up. Just one more… one more, and we'll see our son," Chakotay and Elizabeth exchanged glances at the soothing voice of their son. Alli said something that was unintelligible. They heard the doctor began to count again. Kathryn reached out, and threaded her fingers tightly with Harry's.

Alli gave a kind of hoarse gasp, and there was a moment of complete silence, save the whir of the medical tricorder. Then they heard the shrill coughing wail of a very new infant resound through sickbay.

It took everything Kathryn had not to barrel through the doorway, but they all waited until the doctor had finished his examination and instructed them to come in.

Darren McKay was standing in the middle of sickbay, swathed in scrubs, holding a tiny bundle against his chest. Tears shone in his green eyes.

"Dad," he said in a choked voice, looking down at the baby. "Oh my God, I can't believe he's real." Chakotay smiled at his tall dark-haired son.

"I felt the same way when you were born," he murmured, leaning in with Elizabeth to gaze at the face of their grandson. Kathryn and Harry moved to Alli's bedside.

"How ya doing?" Kathryn asked her daughter, tenderly, smoothing her hair with one hand.

"I've been better," Alli murmured, her voice barely audible, but she smiled. "Isn't he beautiful?"

"Are you surprised?" Harry asked, kissing her on the forehead.

"Daddy..." Alli smiled, brushing off his compliment.

Then Darren was beside them, handing them the baby. "Here, Captain," he said earnestly.

"Thank you, Crewman," Janeway said, with a touch of irony in her voice, as her son-in-law handed her her grandson, and still called her by her title.

"Did Alli tell you his name yet?" Darren asked.

"No," Alli shook her head. "I wanted to tell everybody together." The young couple had kept the child's name a tightly guarded secret, despite repeated efforts at cajoling it out of them. "His name is Edward Kolopak McKay."

Kathryn felt tears involuntarily fill her eyes, and Harry's hand squeezed hers tightly.

"What? Nothing for me?" Harry teased.

"Well, you still have Aaron to continue the Kim name…" Alli defended, citing her younger brother, as Harry waved one hand and assured her that he was kidding.

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay, who was smiling at nothing, and nudged him gently in the side.

"What do you think?" she asked in a low voice, as the others continued to clamor over Alli and Edward.

"It's a touching tribute," Chakotay said sincerely. "My father would be proud."

"Yeah," she said, reminiscently, "mine too."

There was a moment of comfortable silence between them, then. Kathryn thought briefly of the tension and awkwardness that had existed between them for quite some time after their return. And it wasn't just between Kathryn and Chakotay, but between Elizabeth and Kathryn and between Harry and Chakotay… although Harry's talk with Chakotay that long ago night seemed to prevent the worst kind of confrontation from happening in that regard. Things seemed to smooth out after Darren's birth, when Alli was nearly three. Aaron had followed less than two years later. Chakotay and Kathryn had been able to resume their friendship, but it had returned hardened and strong, having been refinedthrough fire.

There had been multiple children born on _Voyager_, including Miral Paris and her sisters, so it had been an interesting surprise, when Alli and Darren first began evidencing interest in each other. He had been nineteen, and she nearly twenty-two. They had married three years later, and had just celebrated their second anniversary.

Now, Kathryn felt an amazing sense of completion, of _rightness_, like something sweet that had passed them by had somehow been recompensed, albeit in an unexpected way.

"I must confess, Kathryn," Chakotay said, in a low aside, "when we were stranded on New Earth, this is _not_ how I imagined having grandchildren with you!"

Laughter rippled from Kathryn's lips, suddenly and involuntarily, and she covered her mouth with one hand. He did understand.

She tucked her hand into the crook of Harry's arm, and interrupted his conversation with Darren.

"Somebody needs to know that he's an uncle," Kathryn murmured in his ear, her eyes shining with joy, "Why don't you comm our son?"

FIN 

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciated it. I look forward to posting more stories here. Hope you enjoyed!**


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